Events 0 Just Us Clothes! January 14th, 2017 at 8:12am MetalSucks “She busted a queef that would’ve calved glaciers.”
Cooking Contaminated 0 Battling M&M January 14th, 2017 at 8:11am MetalSucks “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”
Readers' Choice 0 An Evening at Ryan’s Steakhouse Is Also No Small Affair January 14th, 2017 at 8:10am MetalSucks “Now, back to the vomit…”
Art Attack 0 Baja With Dolphins January 14th, 2017 at 8:09am MetalSucks “A long ways down the beach I came upon a dead dolphin.”
Breaking the Law 0 Welcome To The Party January 14th, 2017 at 8:08am MetalSucks “Shit was crazy as hell.”
Art Attack 0 My Wife’s Christmas Gift January 14th, 2017 at 8:07am MetalSucks “This year I got my wife a dildo in the mold of my very own penis.”
Black Collar Workers 0 My First Metallica Show January 14th, 2017 at 8:06am MetalSucks “Me and my Bro’s don’t even head in until the 3rd song.”
Level Up 0 My Metallica Story January 14th, 2017 at 8:05am MetalSucks ” I didn’t really like Metallica at first and I was hoping we could go back to the Jungle again with Axl and the crew.”
The Webernets 0 Paul Waggoner Destroys Troll January 14th, 2017 at 8:04am MetalSucks The BTBAM message board was a very special place with no moderators and pictures of dicks everywhere.
Please Kill Me 0 My Shitting Addiction January 14th, 2017 at 8:03am MetalSucks “I probably shit at least 3 or 4 times a day.”
This Sucks 0 My Russian Mother Disowned Me. January 14th, 2017 at 8:02am MetalSucks “I AM CUM FROM SEX”
Please Kill Me 0 My Last Crack Bender January 14th, 2017 at 8:01am MetalSucks “my last crack bender was three years ago and when i smoke crack i like to really go the distance.”
Public Service Announcement 0 An Evening At Red Lobster Is No Small Affair January 14th, 2017 at 8:00am MetalSucks “Bring me 20 cheddar bay biscuits.”
Admin 0 Friendly Reminder: Tomorrow, ShredFlanders Runs MetalSucks for the Day! January 13th, 2017 at 5:30pm MetalSucks Make sure you swing by and check out his material!!!
Worst Week Ever 0 Cliff Burton Didn’t Love Iron Maiden, Brian Storm Trolls Martin Shkreli, and More Stories You May Have Missed This Week January 13th, 2017 at 5:00pm Axl Rosenberg Other top stories this week include Morbid Angel’s newly-announced tour, Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s crazy ability to put butts in seats, and more.
Metal in the Media 0 DevilDriver’s Dez Fafara and His Mom Appeared in a Honda Commercial January 13th, 2017 at 3:11pm Vince Neilstein And they got paid fat dollas.
Editorials 0 Watch a Thirteen-Year-Old Girl Nail Meshuggah’s “Clockworks” on the Drums January 13th, 2017 at 1:59pm Axl Rosenberg But wait… are those tattoos real???
Laugh At Others' Misfortunes 0 Attila’s Chris Fronzak Wants You to Know He Bought a Lambo January 13th, 2017 at 1:26pm Axl Rosenberg Overcompensating much, bruh?
Tour de Force 0 Seeker Announce Tour with Grindmother, Wvrm, and Cognitive January 13th, 2017 at 1:10pm Axl Rosenberg Is this the tour you’ve been SEEKing?
\m/ 0 Finnair Flight 666 Just Landed Safely in HEL on Friday the 13th January 13th, 2017 at 12:09pm Vince Neilstein The most metal flight of ALL TIME.
820 - Rigged: Dream Theater’s Mike Mangini Takes You Through Every Piece of His Mega-Drumkit [Part 1]
0 - Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne Finally Wrote a Song So Awful that the Internet Has Collectively Rejected It
