FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN NEW CDs FROM MAN MUST DIE AND HOWL!

Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 5:00pm by Vince Neilstein

metalbaseball_funnyLet’s cut to the chase: the winner to last week’s funny photo caption contest, hands down, is this golden comment submitted by “(required)”:

As bad as he is at stealing band names, Dino proves to be even worse at stealing second base. This can be at least partially blamed on the distracting reminder of his favorite meal, strategically placed on the pitcher’s shirt.

For his/her wit, “(required)” wins a big package of CDs from Earache Records. This week the good folks at Relapse Records are providing us with two prize packages, each containing the latest CDs by MetalSucks approved bands Man Must Die and Howl. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo, and they’re yours. If you’ve been following the past several weeks of funny photo caption contests (last week excepted), this fine young chap should look familiar…

fag5



157 COMMENTS on “FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN NEW CDs FROM MAN MUST DIE AND HOWL!”

  1. Enough of this fucker already, he’s not funny anymore

  2. Failure says:

    “I can’t decide what is bigger my dick or my tongue”

  3. Tyler says:

    is he a dude? or just a chick with small tits?

  4. bearbomb says:

    “Note to self: Taking picture of From First To Last t-shirt in the mirror will NOT make it read From Last To First. I am still a loser.”

  5. Cowboy From Hell says:

    The “Licker” from Resident Evil really found himself in a dark place after his parents got divorced and his bike was stolen.

  6. Anthony says:

    “lollipop, lollipop oh lolli lolli lolli”

  7. Dave says:

    “Practicing making out in the mirror before the concert tonight! Attack Attacks singer is mine!!!”

  8. Beastmaster says:

    “I wonder how many of these pictures I take will end up on Metalsucks? Being that I’m Vince’s estranged nephew he owes me the publicity…”

  9. Every girl has the right to be ugly, but this fucking chick abuses the privilege.

  10. dlux says:

    shitty band shirt-check
    lip ring-check
    hair in eyes-check

    sceneing it up in mom’s bathroom-you better believe it

  11. “Hair-do, check. Band-shirt, check. Piercing, check. I am now so unbelievably ‘metal’ that no one would ever think of questioning my tr00ness.”

  12. groverXIII says:

    Introducing the newest micro-subgenre: emo-sheepdog-core.

  13. Blake says:

    “Watch me deep throat this Ballpark with no hands!”

  14. Flying Dad Bomb says:

    Oh dear God, is that a zit on my tongue?

  15. mrbinky says:

    Mmmmmm, regurgitated dick.

  16. Byron Ward says:

    Impressionable Al just couldn’t get the taste of mass produced shit out of his mouth…

  17. timmah says:

    Smile like a donut, bitch!

  18. dr j says:

    This kid makes Sarah Palin’s death panels make a lot more sense.

  19. bearwizard says:

    this shit makes wayne static seem like the coolest motherfucker around

  20. When Ziltoid met Revrant

  21. Sacajawea says:

    There’s a reason “There’s something about Mary 2″ ended up being a flop at the box office.

  22. The Budd Dwyer hairdo is a hit with the kids.

  23. Marcel says:

    Blinded by his/her bangs, the stick figure known as “Emo Pat” failed to see the graboid desperately attempting to flee from Pat’s suck hole…the taste of dick was not palatable to the little creature from Tremors…six degrees of Kevin Bacon indeed

  24. Ilona says:

    Just because you can only see the front of your hair in the mirror doesn’t mean you don’t have to comb the back. Douche.

  25. Timmay! says:

    Here we find an intrepid young “male” ,and we use that term very loosely here, practicing how to “suck off” a random guy he will find at a generic metalcore band’s show. Yet another example of how metalcore is destroying our youth.

  26. Ilona says:

    As long as I’m wearing a black shirt I should fit in fine at the Slayer concert, right?

  27. Seven says:

    BLOWERS CRAMP!!! OWNED!!

  28. Mooby says:

    As pictured above the trend of young “scenesters” practicing fellatio by using small carrots to imitate male reproductive organs has become quite popular amongst the younger generation.

  29. yanky says:

    i hope this fucker dies
    he is pissin me the fuck off

  30. Knowing that Timmy would never stop singing along with his Attack Attack! CD, his tongue decided it was finally time to escape. His bottom lip, however, being attached with a metal ring, would never be so lucky.

  31. Rida says:

    “I stick my tongue out at you, abortions. You’ve failed again!”

  32. stew says:

    his manhood is escaping from his body.

  33. Sacajawea says:

    This fish is very evolved in that it has the ability to immitate your average 13 year old homosexual. As you can see, it still has a hook in it’s mouth from previous encounters with lonely fisherman looking for the company of young boys.

  34. rkpe says:

    last, definitely last.

  35. loganarchy says:

    He doesn’t want to show his eyes because he’s a vampire.

  36. TrapThem says:

    Tsunami haircut: $40
    From First to Last tshirt: $20
    Lip Ring: $10
    Taking enough pictures and posting them online so that we all can know what a sceneage trendy douche bag you are: priceless

  37. Balls666 says:

    “Oh goody! That scar on my tongue from when my mom stabbed me with a rusty coat hanger finally healed”

  38. Zach Dolan says:

    From Gay To Gayer

  39. Bicro says:

    Poster for Gummo 2: The Scenewhore Douchebag Years.

  40. Spanky says:

    “From First To Last still rules! So does Gene Simmons! \m/”

  41. d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n. says:

    This is your brain on Emo. Any questions?

  42. Phantasm says:

    From first Juggalo to last Juggalo, even those freaks don’t want this kid. Woop woop.

  43. Dustin says:

    “Never should have tried to deep throat that exploding cigar….”

  44. the cover art for the new from first to last album, titled “from ass to mouth”

  45. Joe says:

    lesbaliens: the last gasp in victory records’ genetic engineering program.

  46. (required) says:

    I’m so sick of this dude that I’m just going to post some interesting anagrams of “From First to Last”:

    Mortal Stiffs Rot
    Total Riff Storms
    Mortars Lift Soft
    Motors Lift Farts

  47. Austin Milbarge says:

    ” I can taste how bad I suck on my own lips”

  48. TMan says:

    “i wish my vagina was as pink as my tongue”

  49. He likes his Bubbalicious like he likes his men…fruity

  50. KurtMorgan says:

    “i think i look sexier from this angle so im gunna flip the photo” ur tongue looks like a penis

  51. Reaper-X says:

    It was then that Kyle realized that his tongue, penis and pretend girlfriends clitoris had something in common.

  52. foobear says:

    A wild scene-kid appears!

  53. kayn83 says:

    “He was first to suck dick but the last to swallow.”

  54. Ken says:

    to prove he’s sooo emo he eats pink shit

  55. Leo says:

    “It puts the lotion on its skin then places the lotion in the basket”

  56. I have nothing clever… this guy just weirds me out.

  57. canea says:

    Lacking visible eyes, the Emo Scene Fish has developed a modified sensory apparatus for navigating his way towards a suitable mate: his tongue. Sadly, many males of this species will ultimately find rejection at the end of their Facebook bathroom mirror courtship ritual and will die alone in their dark, poster-covered bedrooms.

  58. Devon Czekaj says:

    His bangs completely cover his eyes, as even he is embarrassed to look at himself in the mirror.

  59. cpo says:

    ugh more like “from gay to that”

  60. Brett says:

    The slugs from “Slither” were then resorted to take the bodies of soul-less scene kids.

  61. Dushaun Mandic says:

    *Knock* *Knock*

    Emo kid: Mom!!!

    Mother: What your doing is a sin! God is watching you!

    Emo kid: Just hold on! I’m recording a instructional video on how to take a dumb using my tongue! I’m going to upload it on MyEmotionalSpace.

    Mother: That’s fine, but can you explain to me why I keep hearing a sucking noise? Are you eating a sucker or something.

    Emo kid: No that’s Jerry, he’s in here sucking my dick.

    Mother: Well hurry up, your dinner is getting cold.

    *Squirt*

    Emo kid: I’m through.

  62. CT says:

    He’s just practicing for the date he has with a gloryhole later on tonight

  63. twisted_freak says:

    “I would like totally suck my tongue in this photo!”

  64. Charlie B says:

    “From first to last” Couldn’t be more true.

  65. halloway says:

    “mmm… there was still some jizz on my lip ring.”

  66. Dillon says:

    Tim Allen would not be pleased with this remake of “The Shaggy Dog”.

  67. Zombie(really) says:

    I AM posh spice…….

  68. Sandy Duncan's Glass Eye says:

    The photo that killed the pro-life movement.

  69. Vitamin Water.
    Vitamin Water.
    Vitamin Water.

    MOUSSE!

  70. sandedfaceless says:

    The Invisible Man demands another rimjob!

  71. KillEmAll83 says:

    “I use my best friend’s cum in my hair, and he does the same for his hair. This is what it looks like when I stick my tongue in his ass. No homo.”

  72. villanj1 says:

    It’s obvious that this gay-tard couldn’t handle his hero in Attack! Attack! getting shit thrown at him on stage, so he photographed his assisted suicide. Shotgun blast to the back of the head, slug exiting the mouth. It’s beautiful…

  73. simon says:

    even if i would this kids dad i would still laugh at him.

  74. Unkle Paul says:

    “I hope Travis Barker notices me at the blink concert, I mean look at me, I’m so different, maybe I’ll get to lick his ballbag.”

  75. PorkGrinder says:

    “Does my tongue make me look gay?”

  76. Johnjohn says:

    If he had his tongue pierced instead of his lip, at least we wouldn’t see it all the time.

  77. Keith says:

    The metal mon chi chi coughs up a furball.

  78. The Rooktrocity says:

    Emo Model Portfolio, submission #1: The Money Shot, taken with low-light filter to enhance moody atmosphere. Notes: “Subject should open mouth wider to catch greater quantity.”

  79. TheHardG says:

    “Axl and Vince really need to stop putting my best pix on their stupid website,or Im gonna tell my mom,Im losing scene points here people!!”

    seriously where do you guys keep getting pictures of whatever this is?

  80. Glorious Johnson says:

    *picks out ironic shirt for metal sucks mansion blow job party*

    “Line up boys. I’m gonna make like a circus seal and sucks these dicks from first to last.”

  81. Brian \m/(-_-)\m/ says:

    practicing his rimming techniques

  82. emetal says:

    “I’m so scene, I’m growing a devilock on my tounge”

  83. TheHangingBrain says:

    Being unable to go without a dick in his mouth for more than 5 seconds, our intrepid emo boy realizes that he can fellate his own tongue.

  84. MrMooshie says:

    “How can i make a funny caption If i don’t know what the fuck IT IS?!?!”

  85. Richie Potts says:

    “Ow! My tongue’s stuck in my lip ring!”

  86. My best impression of Lita Ford’s pussy…

  87. Metal for life says:

    and this is funny?This little fucker son of an emo bitch is funny?Go fuck yourself fucking emo piece of shit

  88. killer says:

    I want to punch your fucking face, cum dumpster.

  89. Evan Matrick says:

    “After reviewing this photograph, it became painfully obvious that Jeremy was in desperate need of an older brother.”

  90. “Goodness gracious, you guys! I just figured out how to make it look like a cock is coming out of my mouth! Super duper, oober goober!”

  91. Ian Aiken says:

    “Ok, I’m ready for your cock, see I’ve got my tongue out. Wait, where are you? I can’t see you because of my super duper haircut. Oh well just stick it anywhere and then cum on my Hot Topic shirt.

  92. “Hey gutter! Ligner det her en pik eller hvad!?”

  93. Richie Potts says:

    “After having a long webcam chat with my myspace girlfriend, we finally decided to meet eachother. It wasn’t until later that night after she took me back to her place that I noticed that she was a lot taller, and hairier than I remember her being over cam. That was of course before I blacked out from some drink she had me try. Now my butthole’s sore, my hair’s all messed up, and I have a salty taste in my mouth I just can’t get rid of. Something tells me it went well :)”

  94. Kris says:

    Now were did I put that penis?

  95. deathray76 says:

    xNAMBLAcorex

  96. (required) says:

    Here we see the results of preliminary testing of the U.S. military’s new
    douche-seeking meat rockets. The entry wound in the back of the cranium appears quite severe,
    and one can plainly observe the tip of the weapon potruding from the oral cavity. While tests
    indicate that this is an effective device, the project has been abondoned for a more economical approach
    currently dubbed the “Howard-Jones-punches-douche-bags-in-the-face project.”

  97. Nekcod says:

    “This being the last known photo of Micheal Jackson before his death gives us some insite into why he might have committed suicide.”

  98. Conor says:

    Dude, fuck this kid! I hate him! I am so furious and affronted that Vince would do this to us. I feel like a Suicide Silence fan that just got grounded: angry and completely incapable of retribution.

    DEAR GOD I’VE BECOME WHAT I MOST HATE.

  99. aaron m. says:

    UP YOUR COCKS, METALSUCKS. my caption was DICKS BALLS ABOVE THAT NONSENSE YOU GAVE THAT EARACHE PRIZE PACK TO. that’s the last time i do your jobs for you.

  100. Crazy Eyes says:

    Emo bangs + doing piercings yourself = tongue pierced to lip.

  101. Ernie Collins says:

    Timmy Who from Whoville decided to leave Whoville to become an emo piece of shit.

  102. Don says:

    The hope for China’s new secret army of mass destruction looks very bleak here…now if you just remove the ‘m’ from ‘mass’…ah there we go. Now China’s chance’s look very very good indeed!!

  103. A.T.B says:

    so this is what happens to your tongue after countless times trying to growl like from first to last..? man.. I iwounder what happens to those nasty dudes in Cannibal Corpse…

  104. Kevin says:

    Seriously where do you guys get these pictures…
    Axl stop adding scene kids on myspace!

  105. Viking-Shredder says:

    This is the most annoying looking kid I have ever seen in my entire life. Him, and all the others that look exactly like him. All I have to say is, he has one of those faces that you just want to head-butt him in the face as soon as you see him.

  106. Nick says:

    Dammit, my tongue isn’t going to be long enough to satisfy Angela Gossow either. Guess I’ll have to stick to nailing the girls in Kittie.

  107. Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt says:

    I literaly want to pull this kids lungs out….i took anger management to stop thinking things like this but jeezus guys…

  108. Slammm says:

    You guys seem to have a lot of pictures of this kid in the bathroom …. is that toe tapping I hear

  109. MetalMatt says:

    It has a dick shoved so far up its ass, it’s coming out the mouth.

  110. terrybeans84 says:

    “give me your adress there”

  111. Dozer says:

    “There’s no reason I can’t have down syndrome AND a painfully fashionable due”

  112. Bloodypuppet says:

    Shut up Mom, I like Kate Gosselin’s haircut!!!

  113. Anti-Ignorance says:

    I may never eat pussy in my entire life, but at least I have the haircut of someone who does on a regular basis.

  114. Gonzotothemax says:

    “There’s Something about Mary” to the extreme. Looks like it wasn’t the intented spot though… Spunky.

  115. lamb of god forbid says:

    Mom?!?! Where’s the toilet paper? I’ve got a turtle head poking out!

  116. lamb of god forbid says:

    Japan finally creates a monster worthy of Godzilla’s wrath

  117. lamb of god forbid says:

    “DAMMIT! I can NOT believe someone stole my sweet shades I had on in my last pic! Guess it’s back to combing my bangs over my eyes again”

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