FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN NEW CDs FROM MAN MUST DIE AND HOWL!
Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 5:00pm by Vince Neilstein
Let’s cut to the chase: the winner to last week’s funny photo caption contest, hands down, is this golden comment submitted by “(required)”:
As bad as he is at stealing band names, Dino proves to be even worse at stealing second base. This can be at least partially blamed on the distracting reminder of his favorite meal, strategically placed on the pitcher’s shirt.
For his/her wit, “(required)” wins a big package of CDs from Earache Records. This week the good folks at Relapse Records are providing us with two prize packages, each containing the latest CDs by MetalSucks approved bands Man Must Die and Howl. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo, and they’re yours. If you’ve been following the past several weeks of funny photo caption contests (last week excepted), this fine young chap should look familiar…
Enough of this fucker already, he’s not funny anymore
Thank you, I was just about to post that same thing.
Yeah I’m sick of seeing this fucking alien
I’m tired of this piece of shit as well. I think \m/Eluveitie\m/ should win.
I second that
It *is* the funniest thing that can be said about that stupid fucking picture. Give it to \m/Eluveitie\m/!
Undoubtedly.
“I can’t decide what is bigger my dick or my tongue”
I wish i knew how to get all this cum outta the back of my hair?
“I can’t decide what is bigger HIS dick or my tongue.”
is he a dude? or just a chick with small tits?
im guessing u never seen scene/emo kids before
“Note to self: Taking picture of From First To Last t-shirt in the mirror will NOT make it read From Last To First. I am still a loser.”
Win.
Haha… nice.
i hate myself for knowing this but this is made doubly funny by the fact that their biggest single was named note to self….
wait. i’m listening to slayer. its okay. i swear.
Yea, win. nj man
The “Licker” from Resident Evil really found himself in a dark place after his parents got divorced and his bike was stolen.
FUCK THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!
Ive been trying to figure out what this fucking homo reminds me of…and its a Licker from Resident Evil!
HAHAHAHA holy shit, the likeness is uncanny!
it reminds me of the alien from alien resurrection
“lollipop, lollipop oh lolli lolli lolli”
“Practicing making out in the mirror before the concert tonight! Attack Attacks singer is mine!!!”
Haha. Nice.
Hahahaha. That was the first time I chuckled at ANY caption contest entry.
“I wonder how many of these pictures I take will end up on Metalsucks? Being that I’m Vince’s estranged nephew he owes me the publicity…”
ahahahah
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but this fucking chick abuses the privilege.
shitty band shirt-check
lip ring-check
hair in eyes-check
sceneing it up in mom’s bathroom-you better believe it
“Hair-do, check. Band-shirt, check. Piercing, check. I am now so unbelievably ‘metal’ that no one would ever think of questioning my tr00ness.”
No way! How the FUCK did someone manage to post the (almost) exact same thing as me, just before I did!? I’m kinda freaked out…
bff!!! haha yes
Introducing the newest micro-subgenre: emo-sheepdog-core.
“Watch me deep throat this Ballpark with no hands!”
if only some girls i know where that talented..his future in gay porn is limitless
Oh dear God, is that a zit on my tongue?
Mmmmmm, regurgitated dick.
Impressionable Al just couldn’t get the taste of mass produced shit out of his mouth…
Smile like a donut, bitch!
This kid makes Sarah Palin’s death panels make a lot more sense.
this shit makes wayne static seem like the coolest motherfucker around
When Ziltoid met Revrant
doesnt quite fit but save it its good
There’s a reason “There’s something about Mary 2″ ended up being a flop at the box office.
That’s Ben Stiller’s splooge in his hair in case no one got that.
The Budd Dwyer hairdo is a hit with the kids.
Well-played… if only this kid would do more to be like Budd Dwyer.
Blinded by his/her bangs, the stick figure known as “Emo Pat” failed to see the graboid desperately attempting to flee from Pat’s suck hole…the taste of dick was not palatable to the little creature from Tremors…six degrees of Kevin Bacon indeed
Just because you can only see the front of your hair in the mirror doesn’t mean you don’t have to comb the back. Douche.
Here we find an intrepid young “male” ,and we use that term very loosely here, practicing how to “suck off” a random guy he will find at a generic metalcore band’s show. Yet another example of how metalcore is destroying our youth.
You have to do the finger motions for quotation marks around “male” and “suck off” when you say this
As long as I’m wearing a black shirt I should fit in fine at the Slayer concert, right?
BLOWERS CRAMP!!! OWNED!!
As pictured above the trend of young “scenesters” practicing fellatio by using small carrots to imitate male reproductive organs has become quite popular amongst the younger generation.
i hope this fucker dies
he is pissin me the fuck off
thats not a caption its how i feel
Knowing that Timmy would never stop singing along with his Attack Attack! CD, his tongue decided it was finally time to escape. His bottom lip, however, being attached with a metal ring, would never be so lucky.
“I stick my tongue out at you, abortions. You’ve failed again!”
his manhood is escaping from his body.
This fish is very evolved in that it has the ability to immitate your average 13 year old homosexual. As you can see, it still has a hook in it’s mouth from previous encounters with lonely fisherman looking for the company of young boys.
win
epic win….
+1
last, definitely last.
He doesn’t want to show his eyes because he’s a vampire.
Tsunami haircut: $40
From First to Last tshirt: $20
Lip Ring: $10
Taking enough pictures and posting them online so that we all can know what a sceneage trendy douche bag you are: priceless
“Oh goody! That scar on my tongue from when my mom stabbed me with a rusty coat hanger finally healed”
ahh the good old failed abortion joke
From Gay To Gayer
Poster for Gummo 2: The Scenewhore Douchebag Years.
“From First To Last still rules! So does Gene Simmons! \m/”
This is your brain on Emo. Any questions?
From first Juggalo to last Juggalo, even those freaks don’t want this kid. Woop woop.
“Never should have tried to deep throat that exploding cigar….”
the cover art for the new from first to last album, titled “from ass to mouth”
Good form.
such class daisy!!!
NICE!!
lesbaliens: the last gasp in victory records’ genetic engineering program.
I’m so sick of this dude that I’m just going to post some interesting anagrams of “From First to Last”:
Mortal Stiffs Rot
Total Riff Storms
Mortars Lift Soft
Motors Lift Farts
” I can taste how bad I suck on my own lips”
“i wish my vagina was as pink as my tongue”
He likes his Bubbalicious like he likes his men…fruity
“i think i look sexier from this angle so im gunna flip the photo” ur tongue looks like a penis
It was then that Kyle realized that his tongue, penis and pretend girlfriends clitoris had something in common.
A wild scene-kid appears!
“He was first to suck dick but the last to swallow.”
to prove he’s sooo emo he eats pink shit
“It puts the lotion on its skin then places the lotion in the basket”
I have nothing clever… this guy just weirds me out.
Lacking visible eyes, the Emo Scene Fish has developed a modified sensory apparatus for navigating his way towards a suitable mate: his tongue. Sadly, many males of this species will ultimately find rejection at the end of their Facebook bathroom mirror courtship ritual and will die alone in their dark, poster-covered bedrooms.
His bangs completely cover his eyes, as even he is embarrassed to look at himself in the mirror.
ugh more like “from gay to that”
The slugs from “Slither” were then resorted to take the bodies of soul-less scene kids.
*Knock* *Knock*
Emo kid: Mom!!!
Mother: What your doing is a sin! God is watching you!
Emo kid: Just hold on! I’m recording a instructional video on how to take a dumb using my tongue! I’m going to upload it on MyEmotionalSpace.
Mother: That’s fine, but can you explain to me why I keep hearing a sucking noise? Are you eating a sucker or something.
Emo kid: No that’s Jerry, he’s in here sucking my dick.
Mother: Well hurry up, your dinner is getting cold.
*Squirt*
Emo kid: I’m through.
He’s just practicing for the date he has with a gloryhole later on tonight
“I would like totally suck my tongue in this photo!”
“From first to last” Couldn’t be more true.
“mmm… there was still some jizz on my lip ring.”
Tim Allen would not be pleased with this remake of “The Shaggy Dog”.
I AM posh spice…….
The photo that killed the pro-life movement.
Vitamin Water.
Vitamin Water.
Vitamin Water.
MOUSSE!
The Invisible Man demands another rimjob!
“I use my best friend’s cum in my hair, and he does the same for his hair. This is what it looks like when I stick my tongue in his ass. No homo.”
It’s obvious that this gay-tard couldn’t handle his hero in Attack! Attack! getting shit thrown at him on stage, so he photographed his assisted suicide. Shotgun blast to the back of the head, slug exiting the mouth. It’s beautiful…
even if i would this kids dad i would still laugh at him.
“I hope Travis Barker notices me at the blink concert, I mean look at me, I’m so different, maybe I’ll get to lick his ballbag.”
“Does my tongue make me look gay?”
If he had his tongue pierced instead of his lip, at least we wouldn’t see it all the time.
The metal mon chi chi coughs up a furball.
Emo Model Portfolio, submission #1: The Money Shot, taken with low-light filter to enhance moody atmosphere. Notes: “Subject should open mouth wider to catch greater quantity.”
“Axl and Vince really need to stop putting my best pix on their stupid website,or Im gonna tell my mom,Im losing scene points here people!!”
seriously where do you guys keep getting pictures of whatever this is?
*picks out ironic shirt for metal sucks mansion blow job party*
“Line up boys. I’m gonna make like a circus seal and sucks these dicks from first to last.”
practicing his rimming techniques
“I’m so scene, I’m growing a devilock on my tounge”
Being unable to go without a dick in his mouth for more than 5 seconds, our intrepid emo boy realizes that he can fellate his own tongue.
“How can i make a funny caption If i don’t know what the fuck IT IS?!?!”
“Ow! My tongue’s stuck in my lip ring!”
My best impression of Lita Ford’s pussy…
and this is funny?This little fucker son of an emo bitch is funny?Go fuck yourself fucking emo piece of shit
I want to punch your fucking face, cum dumpster.
“After reviewing this photograph, it became painfully obvious that Jeremy was in desperate need of an older brother.”
“Goodness gracious, you guys! I just figured out how to make it look like a cock is coming out of my mouth! Super duper, oober goober!”
“Ok, I’m ready for your cock, see I’ve got my tongue out. Wait, where are you? I can’t see you because of my super duper haircut. Oh well just stick it anywhere and then cum on my Hot Topic shirt.
“Hey gutter! Ligner det her en pik eller hvad!?”
“After having a long webcam chat with my myspace girlfriend, we finally decided to meet eachother. It wasn’t until later that night after she took me back to her place that I noticed that she was a lot taller, and hairier than I remember her being over cam. That was of course before I blacked out from some drink she had me try. Now my butthole’s sore, my hair’s all messed up, and I have a salty taste in my mouth I just can’t get rid of. Something tells me it went well :)”
Now were did I put that penis?
xNAMBLAcorex
Here we see the results of preliminary testing of the U.S. military’s new
douche-seeking meat rockets. The entry wound in the back of the cranium appears quite severe,
and one can plainly observe the tip of the weapon potruding from the oral cavity. While tests
indicate that this is an effective device, the project has been abondoned for a more economical approach
currently dubbed the “Howard-Jones-punches-douche-bags-in-the-face project.”
“This being the last known photo of Micheal Jackson before his death gives us some insite into why he might have committed suicide.”
Dude, fuck this kid! I hate him! I am so furious and affronted that Vince would do this to us. I feel like a Suicide Silence fan that just got grounded: angry and completely incapable of retribution.
DEAR GOD I’VE BECOME WHAT I MOST HATE.
UP YOUR COCKS, METALSUCKS. my caption was DICKS BALLS ABOVE THAT NONSENSE YOU GAVE THAT EARACHE PRIZE PACK TO. that’s the last time i do your jobs for you.
Ummm…fuck you, dude. Tell you what, post your address and I’ll send you a nice little Anthrax prize pack. I’m talking about the band, of course.
it’s ok. i don’t actually care.
Wow. You’re very manic. Maybe you should see someone about that.
Emo bangs + doing piercings yourself = tongue pierced to lip.
Timmy Who from Whoville decided to leave Whoville to become an emo piece of shit.
The hope for China’s new secret army of mass destruction looks very bleak here…now if you just remove the ‘m’ from ‘mass’…ah there we go. Now China’s chance’s look very very good indeed!!
so this is what happens to your tongue after countless times trying to growl like from first to last..? man.. I iwounder what happens to those nasty dudes in Cannibal Corpse…
Seriously where do you guys get these pictures…
Axl stop adding scene kids on myspace!
This is the most annoying looking kid I have ever seen in my entire life. Him, and all the others that look exactly like him. All I have to say is, he has one of those faces that you just want to head-butt him in the face as soon as you see him.
Dammit, my tongue isn’t going to be long enough to satisfy Angela Gossow either. Guess I’ll have to stick to nailing the girls in Kittie.
I literaly want to pull this kids lungs out….i took anger management to stop thinking things like this but jeezus guys…
You guys seem to have a lot of pictures of this kid in the bathroom …. is that toe tapping I hear
Win! Win! Win!
It has a dick shoved so far up its ass, it’s coming out the mouth.
“give me your adress there”
“There’s no reason I can’t have down syndrome AND a painfully fashionable due”
Shut up Mom, I like Kate Gosselin’s haircut!!!
I may never eat pussy in my entire life, but at least I have the haircut of someone who does on a regular basis.
“There’s Something about Mary” to the extreme. Looks like it wasn’t the intented spot though… Spunky.
Mom?!?! Where’s the toilet paper? I’ve got a turtle head poking out!
Japan finally creates a monster worthy of Godzilla’s wrath
“DAMMIT! I can NOT believe someone stole my sweet shades I had on in my last pic! Guess it’s back to combing my bangs over my eyes again”
Gay
Uber Gay