“The ’90s were a challenging decade for metal,” opens Loudwire writer Joe Robinson. You got that right! ’90s nostalgia hasn’t firmly set in for metal yet; Limp Bizkit’s new record tanked, less people are interested in Korn than ever, and some of the more credible ’90s acts from Europe never even stopped to take a drink of water. But that hasn’t stopped Loudwire from publishing a “Top 11 Metal Albums of the ’90s” list. For once, I think this topic is quite ripe for list-making given metal’s widespread unpopularity during the decade. Sure, decades themselves are artificial constructs with which musical trends don’t neatly align (hair metal was still huge in ’90 and ’91 and the true stuff was already filtering back in by the end), but they do provide convenient language for discourse, much like metal sub-genres aren’t always perfect but give us some kind of approximation of what a band sounds like.

Loudwire’s list is actually pretty solid; it’s hard to argue that any of these albums shouldn’t be included on a best-of-the-’90s metal list, and I love the inclusion of Alice in Chains and Tool. I could do without Korn’s debut, but I know it was important to a lot of people and it certainly left its mark on the metal landscape. I have a hard time believing Anthrax’s Persistence of Time would’ve appeared on this list had the band not just released a new album. The list completely omits European bands, and I think In Flames’ The Jester Race, Whoracle or Colony — any one of ‘em — deserve a nod for all the impact they had on metal to come. For that matter, how about At the Gates? Or Refused’s Shape of Punk to Come? And what ’90s metal list is complete without Nevermore or Iced Earth, two bands that essentially flied in the face of “cool” and held up giant middle fingers?

But whatevs… it’s a list, and therefore cannot be perfect. Go check it out here, then come back here with your arguin’ pants on and tell us what you think the comments.

-VN

Thanks: Andrew Robbins

What was the best debut metal album of the past 25 years?? Metal Hammer wanted to know, so they asked their readers… and over 16,000 responded.

Now, if there’s anything my otherwise worthless Communications Studies college degree taught me, it’s how to parse survey results. Any survey conducted in the manner of Metal Hammer’s is obviously going to have skewed results; a poll held online is probably going to skew younger, the magazine’s readers probably skew younger to begin with, the magazine’s coverage choices might be biased thereby attracting readers with certain tastes, newer albums are likely to be remembered more freshly than older ones, UK metalheads might have different tastes than those elsewhere, the questions were probably not posed in a scientific manner, and on and on and on. But that doesn’t mean this survey isn’t worth something: while it might not show how the general world populace views all metal debuts released in the past 25 years, it does show what a large group of Metal Hammer readers think. And that is certainly interesting!

My point is this: don’t get too butthurt when you see that Korn’s debut was named #2, above GN’R's Appetite for Destruction no less. Or that Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory appears far above Rage Against the Machine’s self-titled. But man… that does kinda sting.

View the rest of the list here — including the shocking-but-not-really #1 choice — then come back to MS for some good old-fashioned name-calling and flame-warring.

-VN

Thanks: Mat Bourbon

Two weeks I wrote about how Ratt’s “Dance” is an excellent stripping song, and jested about trying it out myself. Jokes aside, I’ve always been fascinated by strip clubs and strippers and the whole shebang. It’s just so weird to me. The way it all functions and how lucrative it really is. When I was in college, we affectionately called the street right next to us “Stripper Alley” because of the cluster of clubs situated two steps from the dorms. You’d be hard-pressed to find worse houses of “burlesque” in the country.

Unfortunately, any fantasies or visions of naked grandeur were put to rest when I attended one innocent evening and an enthusiastic and obviously pregnant girl started raving about how much she loved my name. ‘Cause my real name was her stage name. Thanks, mom and dad.

It’s hard to deny that there’s some connection between metal, especially hair metal, and stripping. They go hand in hand like… syphilis and crazy. But I really don’t like the “stripping songs” that everyone always seems to go with. “Pour Some Sugar On Me”… like, really? There are so many underrated bands from that era and even more underrated songs. Some just had bad timing and some were plain ignored. But it got me thinking.

So here are the top underrated bands (note: “underrated” does not necessarily mean “unpopular”) of the 80s and early 90s, along with their corresponding strip songs. Now, these aren’t my choices, mind you — I just think they’d get the job done. I really hope no family members are reading this but if they are: HEY YOU GAVE ME A STRIPPER NAME, THIS WAS INEVITABLE.

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With the Big 4 concert in NYC fast approaching, its high time for some tasteless list-making and name-calling. Even the staunchest of metal purists probably can’t summon quite the amount of hatred for Metallica that we here at MetalSucks feel towards the Yankees (really just their fans), but lettuce be cereal here for a moment: it’s only too fitting that Metallica chose Yankee Stadium for the Big 4 show. So, here we go, the Top Fifteen Reasons That Metallica Are the Yankees of Metal:

15. Both had classic and storied beginnings but are now concerned only with making Benjamins.

14. Both suffered premature losses of legends (Lou Gehrig = Cliff Burton).

13. Both have historically received unwarranted amounts of attention despite the presence of more authentic, likable peers (Slayer / Megadeth / Anthrax = Giants / Dodgers / Mets)

12. Believe in charging even the poorest of their fans $90 for a ticket and $40 for a t-shirt.

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Justin M. Norton over at Invisible Oranges has been killing it this week. Yesterday, he wrote a really great piece about entitled “Why Ghost Matters,” which you should definitely check out, especially if, for some reason, you’re still not convinced that those Swedes are the real deal; now, he’s unveiled his list of the Top 10 Metal Lyricists, which, I imagine, will cause exactly the kind of shit storm that makes the internet so damn fun in the first place.

And, hey, I don’t agree with all of his inclusions (although I certainly agree with some of ‘em, like one Mr. J.R. Hayes from Pig Destroyer). But, again, the debate is what’s so much fun about these kinds of things. Lists don’t really “mean” anything — they’re just the opinions of one individual or a group of individuals. But what’s great about them is that they get people thinking; even if you disagree with the choices, you have to figure out a way to articulate exactly why you disagree with the choices, to hopefully come up with a retort more sophisticated than “You’re wrong and you’re a douche for disagreeing with me.” (Although, clearly, some internetters fall back on that “reasoning,” too.)

Check out Norton’s list here, then come back and let us know who your own favorite metal lyricists are in our comments section. Two of my personal poetic heroes who I think definitely deserve to be on this list: Tool’s Maynard James Keenan and The Red Chord’s Guy Kozowyk. How about you cats?

-AR

Every year seems to either be hailed as the “best year for metal in ever” or discarded as “the year Morbid Angel and everyone else sucked really badly,” and this year has been no different. I’ve heard everything across the board from praise to condemnation, but I think that so far, 2011′s been pretty good — we got long-awaited albums from old favorites, surprising returns, and some awesome breakout albums. I admit I haven’t heard everything I should’ve yet, but I have managed to plow through a significant stack of music, and found the following to be really standout releases so far:

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Nine times out of ten, when faced with the option to listen to a band I enjoy’s brand-spankin’ new album or to their shitty old demos from six years ago, I’ll go with the latter.  Don’t get me wrong — metal in 2011 is a many-headed, constantly evolving beast whose progress is fascinating to observe; I’m into tons of newer bands, and love discovering killer new releases. However, at the end of the day, when I’ve finally got a few minutes to myself, I’m going to be listening to Necros Christos’ Black Mass Desecration demo from 2003 or my battered old Celtic Frost records, not whatever new jam is buzzing its way through the blogosphere that week (no matter how awesome it may prove itself to be). There’s no place like home.

I also spent a helluva lot of time listening to my friends’/boyfriend’s bands, so color me a bit biased (though honestly, what writer isn’t?).

These basic truths about my listening habits make compiling year-end lists an absolute shitshow, so I suppose Axl’s asking me to haul one out mid-year will serve as a good trial run for the inevitable horrors ahead.

That being said, here are the albums I’ve been listening to the most. I’ve already written about a few of them, so no big surprises await. Read ‘em and weep.

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Take this with a salt factory’s worth of grains of salt, because there are probably about fifty albums I have stored on my hard drive, waiting to evaluate, and there are many dozens of worthy contenders that I may never hear until it’s too late. But here are 40 albums from the first half of 2011 that’ve knocked my moocow slippers off so far:

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Perhaps right before the deluge of fall releases hammers us with “PUT ME ON YOUR YEAR END LIST!” demands, it’d be a good idea to take stock of what’s come out thus far. It’s been a good year for metal– as, admittedly, are most years — despite the absences of new Neurosis or Pig Destroyer albums (which, once again, could apply to any year). And even though there are a few albums I haven’t gotten around to hearing just yet (Altar of Plagues, Vastum, Disma, Origin, Shining), haven’t been lucky enough to hear (Revocation) and haven’t spent nearly enough time with yet (Wolves in the Throne Room), there’s been quite a bit to marinate on thus far. So allow me to jump on the ship Axl, Vince, Corey, Gary, Anso, and Leyla are already on and name a few I deem noteworthy. In no particular order, of course.

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I give into peer pressure easily. In no particular order other than alphabetical:

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Cosmo started it at Invisible Oranges. Then our Axl and Murder Corey got in the mix. Next, Vince wanted some. And on Wednesday, Gary didn’t mind if he did. Now, with your permission, I, Anso DF, will help myself and list 2011′s best jam-parties so farsies.

May I? Thanks!  Click to read more…

Axl’s published his First Half of 2011 list and Corey’s published his… my turn!

I really do these every year as a way of documenting where my head is mid-year so when December rolls around I can go back and look, not so much as a definitive “Best of the First Half” statement. As such it’s only a half-decent representation on what’ll eventually end up on my final year-end list.

So, here it is, in alphabetical order: my favorite releases of 2011 so far.

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Hopefully, you Suckahs have been following my Bleeders’ Lists this year. If not, you can play catch-up here – Missed Albums Finally Listened to from the First Half of 2011, June, May, April, March, February, January.

As of the end of June, I have listened to 356 new releases this year — each one all the way through. I have listened to several live releases and re-releases but did not include most of them on my lists. Surprisingly, just under 29% are Bleeders (or the best each month). This is nearly 15% higher than I expected, so that’s the first good thing. The second is that those 103 Bleeders comprise a vast array of what we call “heavy metal” and have made for a stellar year already.

Being a lifelong metalhead, there are obviously going to be certain acts I just don’t like — number one amongst those this year is Ghost. But my Bleeders’ Lists aren’t about what I don’t like, but rather what gets me stoked. I’ve listened to, literally, more than 10,000 metal releases and been to more than a 1,000 metal concerts. In other words, I’m jaded. So, when something excites me, I want to share it with everyone. Thankfully, I’ve been able to do that 103 times this year.

Below you will find my Top 10 of those 103 Bleeders with their original mini-reviews plus updated commentary.

Of course, I just heard the new Decapitated and have a sneaking suspicion it will be be firmly entrenched on my 2011 Top 15 list come December.

Enjoy. Despise. Eviscerate.

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While a list of members of the U.S. congress wouldn’t normally be something to get excited about and probably won’t result in the same level of nerdrage usually present in MetalSucks comments for any ordinary Top __ of __ list, here’s something for the uber-duber-nerdy: The Awl’s list of Members of Congress Who Have Totally Metal Names, In Order. We’re not sure what the precise criteria for a “totally metal name” is but we’ll wager from the “Listicle Without Commentary” category that the article’s author isn’t really sure either… and since the very definition of “metal” is often up for debate, it stands to reason that the same would be true of “metal names:” you just know one when you see it. So while we’re not quite sure what qualifies Rep. Morgan Griffith (R-VA) as having the 7th most metal name in congress, we can definitely get behind the #1 choice of… you’ll have to click to find out.

-VN

Arguing about lists is a pasttime here at MS; first there was our 21 Best Albums of the 21st Century list, the list started it all, and, no joke, probably exponentially multiplied the amount of butthurt in our comments section. Then there was our Ten Great Bands That Inadvertently Helped Ruin Metal List, our Top Ten Bands Most Often Miscategorized as Hair Metal countdown, and of course the Top 10 lists each of our writers publish counting down his or her favorite albums at the end of each and every year. And, oh yeah, that little list we finished last month in which we chose the Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists.

But other folks like lists too, and this week we’ve got two fresh ones to argue over. The first is Guitar World’s 50 Best Albums of the First Half of 2011 list; it’s important to remember that the list was published by Guitar World, not Metal World, so not all the albums listed will have value to readers of MetalSucks. Still, the presence of Asking Alexandria, Morbid Angel (!) and Black Veil Brides pretty far up on the list while BTBAM and Amon Amarth appear farther down should get MS readers up in a tizzy, among other so-called “injustices.”

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Earlier today, Invisible Oranges’ Cosmo Lee noted that we’re now halfway through 2011 (Already? Sheesh!) and listed his ten favorite metal albums of the year thus far.

So I thought it would be fun to do the same. It will give me a chance to get the ball rollin’ so I’m not scrambling to meet a deadline come December, and it will give you cats a) the chance to argue, which we know you love to do, and b) recommend shit to me that maybe I haven’t even heard of, or haven’t had a chance to check out yet, etc.

These are just in alphabetical order for now, because no way am I ready to start agonizing over the precise order of my own personal preferences just yet.

Also, there are some albums on here which obviously haven’t been released yet, but I’m not gonna pretend that I haven’t heard them and/or like something else better, so you’ll have to take my word when I assure you that they are friggin’ SWEET.

And so, here’s my top ten of 2011 up ’til now…

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Yesterday we told you that we’ve made another list for you all to get your panties in a twist about. We also gave you some clues about the nature of the list.

Now here are some more clues.

The list concerns musicians.

The following musicians were not eligible for the list:

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Well, it’s made.

We’re going to begin unveiling it on Monday.

Want some hints as to the topic of debate?

Okay, here ya go:

• It’s not about specific albums.
• It’s not about specific bands.
• It’s not about specific genres.
• It’s not about producers.
• It’s not about record labels.

So start your guessing as to what the list is all about… and we’ll tease you some more tomorrow before announcing the actual discussion at hand on Friday.

In the meantime, get excited. This is gonna be fun…

-Axl, Vince, and Everyone at MetalSucks

I was bummed last month when I heard that FUBAR‘s Dean “Deaner” Murdoch (Paul J. Spence) was detained at the Canadian border and would not grace the SXSW Film Festival with his presence. So, I took matter into my own hands and tracked the one-balled mustachioed metalhead down and asked him for some sticky pearls of wisdom. Instead, he gave me a Top 10 list. – CM

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I’m at the point where I pretty much prefer animated movies to live-action ones. I passed up some big deal, hotshot movie that came out recently, whose name I don’t even remember, to see Rango. I’m usually a pretty good judge, too, because I knew Rango was going to be awesome ,and it was. It looks absolutely amazing, and if you’re a nerd for animation detail, the gross, crusty animals will thrill you. Not to mention the classic movie references from Chinatown to Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. It’s also damn violent for a “kids movie.” And well, I’m a movie nerd with a deep love for filmic violence. My dad didn’t have any sons, ok? He raised me to love his Fab Four; Arnold, Bruce, Sylvester, and Jean-Claude. And Dolph, on days he felt generous.

This might be odd, but I always liked to think about what various characters’ personalities would be like. Down to their music and movie taste. I especially try to pick out the metalheads, because I want to find my animated brothers and sisters in arms. It was while musing on the subject on Twitter that I found out the talented Ms. Elise over at Reign in Blonde kind of does the same thing. Apparently, all my acquaintances are online these days. She actually compiled a list of the most metal Disney characters, and with her help, I’ve expanded the list. Here are the Ten Most Likely Metalheads in Animated Movies (excluding anime and other international releases, as the author has not done enough research on the subject.)

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