I don’t have to tell you about Decapitated’s tragic 2007 van accident, which left drummer Witold “Vitek” Kiełtyka dead and vocalist Adrian “Covan” Kowanek in a coma. But it seems like news regarding Covan’s health — if there even really was any such news — has been slow to trickle out to the public in the years since.

That’s all changed now, thanks to this report from Polish television (don’t worry, it has English subtitles). It’s devastating stuff — Covan “has limb paralysis, can’t move independently, and communication with him is difficult” — but he is certainly surrounded by caring people who love him, and seems to be getting very good care, to the point where he is slowly improving. Watch the video below:

You can donate to the fund for Covan’s ongoing treatment here.

-AR

Major, major thanks to Szymon for sending this to us.

“Mommy WOW! I’m a big kid now!”

The latest incarnation of Guns N’ Roses kicked off a seven date intimate club tour over the weekend, and while the good news is that Axl Rose has actually shown up for the concerts thus far, the bad news is that he hasn’t done so until about 11:30 pm — meaning that even if you appreciate his playing for three hours every night, if you have work in the morning, you probably do not appreciate getting home until after 3 am.

Of course, Rose’s perpetual tardiness has become part of his myth. And for years fans have wondered, “Dude, what is your deal?!” Like, does the guy just not own an alarm clock or something?

As it turns out, the answer might be much simpler. In a new, awesome multi-part interview with Metal Sludge, GN’R's original manager, Alan Niven, reveals that Rose actually has stage fright. Speaking about the band’s stint opening for Aerosmith in 1988, Niven reveals the following:

Click to read more…

Justin Hawkins from The Darkness turned up in a Super Bowl ad for one of those not-an-iPhones last night, which I guess means that The Darkness really are back, which I guess means fuck my life. Although if using an imitator of a superior artist to sell an imitator of a superior product was some producer’s idea of symbolism, well, mission accomplished, I guess.

Meanwhile, it turns out the ad was directed by Bobby Farrelly, one half of The Farrelly Brothers, the writer/director team that made Dumb & Dumber, Kingpin, and There’s Something About Mary in the 90s, and Shallow Hal, the remake of The Heartbreak Kid, and Hall Pass in the aughties. I’m just telling you so you’ll understand why the commercial isn’t funny.

Meanwhile, it turns out that the Mötley Crüe/Kia Superbowl ad was also directed by a filmmaker of some note — Noam Murro, who is helming the sequel to 300, and was briefly attached to A Good Day to Die Hard, a.k.a. Die Hard 5.

See? If you didn’t have me around, who would tell you all this useless bullshit you don’t actually care about?

-AR

[via /Film]

As someone who does not give the slightest of craps about sports, I still used to watch the Superbowl every year, for the same reasons everyone watches the Superbowl every year: you go to a big party, get drunk, and see some cool commercials.

But now I don’t even bother with that anymore; I can get drunk anywhere regardless of whether or not there’s a football game on, and the commercials are all posted online either after or, in some odd cases, before the big game.

For example, Kia’s new commercial, which appeals to the basest instincts of 40-something year-old men by associating their product with sex, speed, power, food, phallic symbols, and Mötley Crüe, who, come to think of it, personify all of those things anyway. Yes, even food.

Check out the commerical below:

-AR

Thanks: Saul Hudson

So Guitar World roasted Zakk Wylde last week, and now a video of one of the roaster’s, uh, roasting has made its way online, and holy poopsicles, was I ever excited to watch said video. ‘Cause it’s by The Ultimate Warrior, who wasn’t just one of my favorite professional wrestlers when I was still a wrestling fan, but has also been the source of a lot of (mostly inadvertent, I think) comedy, both in his prime as a star of the WWF/WWE/whatever, and more recently as a personal trainer for terrible bands.

Unfortunately, The Warrior — or whomever wrote his roast material for him (assuming he used an outside writer or writers) — blew it. I mean, roasting Zakk Wylde should be like shooting fish in a barrel — hell, we’ve practically made our living doing it here at MetalSucks. And yet, the vast majority of the gag in The Warrior’s video is that Zakk Wylde owns an Ultimate Warrior edition of one of those old Wrestling Buddies stuffed pillow thingies, and the Wrestling Buddy is mad at Zakk because… I dunno, I fell asleep. That’s not even a funny premise, and the video goes on for more than four minutes. Sheesh.

Presumably more video footage from the event will be released soon, and hopefully some of the other roasters — including Rob Halford, Duff McKagan, Corey Taylor, Scott Ian, Brian Posehn, Steel Panther, Jim Florentine, Gus G., “Stone Cold” Steven Austin, and, of course, the Osbournes — had better material to work with. Guitar World‘s non-video recap of the event would certainly suggest that this was the case.

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

Yesterday, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross were nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Original Score for their contribution to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo*; it’s their second nomination in as many years and would seem to suggest that the duo will probably get a second Oscar nod, too, although it’s not clear yet if they’ll be able to repeat the success of last year’s The Social Network. Still, pretty crazy to see the guy who once sang “I wanna fuck you like an animal” being all respectable n’ shit.

And since he is Mr. Respectable now, Reznor has granted a long interview to The Hollywood Reporter, a trade mag which I can’t imagine would have been interested in him even just a few years ago. But it’s a fun read, and they got some pretty good dish out of the dude — like the fact that he has no idea where his Grammy statuettes are:

Click to read more…

photo by Metal Chris from DCHeavyMetal.com

It’s no secret that this guy gets down with reality tv from time to time.  Some of those shows are so intriguing, so trashy, so entertaining…..and some are just terrible.

VH1 crapfest Why Am I Still Single?! falls in the latter category, pitting a subpar alpha female matchmaker named Siggy & her lame team of “experts” (save for the twin blonde vanities…..twins, Max — boioing!) against New York City’s most socially inept daters.  I gave up on this show early on, but couldn’t help but be intrigued when ads for a recent episode boasted that one dater (contestant? victim? social pariah? what do you even call folks who go on these shows anymore???) was a heavy metal dude looking for love.

Well it turns out that dude is Bröhammer guitarist James Danzo and despite the consensus on the show that he’s a great guy, this earnest yet slightly rough-around-the-edges axe-slinger still gets predictably put through the ringer by the matchmaker’s crack(head) team.  Watch as James is reprimanded for his awful table manners by Siggy and her “expert etiquette coach Patricia” and given a new haircut by the buxom style twins….

I have it on good authority that going on reality tv yielded positive results for ol’ James — our boy has learned aplenty and can hopefully turn his newfound recognizability into dating gold.

And his band rocks!  Check them out on TheirSpace.  The bassist is a close personal bröbröcop who I’m told is hung like a donkey.

Bröhammer plays Brooklyn’s most metal venue Saint Vitus Bar tomorrow night (Friday 12/9) w/Mortician, Legionary, Blessed Ofal, and DeMilitiA….

-KW

Being a heavily geocentric, uncultured ‘Merican, I don’t actually know much about the BBC. But I always assumed it was cool, because a) John Peel, b) some really fantastic television programs like the original The Office and Sherlock, and c) everything just sounds better with a British accent. Seriously, the words “You have inoperable cancer, fartknocker,” sound elegant coming off of Dame Judi Dench’s tongue.

But I guess the BBC is just like everything else: shitty as often as not. ‘Cause yesterday we saw this BBC news report from 1994, basically implying that black metal is evil and a danger to our youth and blah blah blah, and now reader Charles Farmer has sent us the below documentary from 2005, which blames “extreme heavy metal music and its preoccupations with violence and satanism” for inspiring some assholes in Italy to commit a murder.

And hey remember when just like a paragraph ago I said that most things are equal parts shitty and not shitty? At some point, do you think people will come to accept that, so they can start behaving a little more rationality? Like, “Oh, yeah, well, these death metal people did some truly heinous shit, but so did those country music people over there, and those hip-hop people over there, that one really big Jon Lennon fan, and holy shit will one of them please get off of his or her ass and do something about Skrillex?”

Here’s part one of the documentary…

…and the rest is after the jump.

Click to read more…

If those words make you laugh as hard as I did, you are really, really going to enjoy this 1994 news report on the evils of black metal, which was dug up by  The Gauntlet. In fact, despite the fact that, yes, some black metal musicians were definitely, legitimately fucknuts, this whole video is so silly, it’s almost hard to believe it’s real. Enjoy:

-AR

[via The Deciblog]

Most metalheads probably aren’t familiar with Prince Paul but he’s a big deal hip hop name, having produced albums by De La Soul, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick and many others. To me he will always be most famous as a member of horror-core rap outfit Gravediggaz, a personal favorite of mine (remember this song?).

Now Prince Paul is looking to expand his musical horizon beyond hip hop, so Scion A/V followed him around with cameras to create a six part mini-series titled Music Impossible: Prince Paul’s Adventurous Musical Journey. Since Scion has a strong foothold in the metal community these days it was a given that metal would be involved in some way, and in the fourth episode that’s exactly what happens. Prince Paul and two of his friends venture out of this year’s Scion Rock Fest in Pomona, CA to watch sets by Death Angel, Crom, Municipal Waste, Floor and others, and… well, just watch.

-VN

[via Metal Insider]

That Metal Show‘s interview with Axl Rose — the singer’s first on-camera interview in close to a decade – aired this past Friday night, and it was about what I expected. Rose tells some great stories about the good ol’ days, sometimes displays a genuine sense of humor (he sarcastically commands Dj Ashba — who says nothing and is present for no discernible reason — to stop interrupting him), and, naturally, refuses to take responsibility for absolutely anything he has ever done. (To hear him tell it, the infamous rant from “Get in the Ring” was the brainchild of Duff McKagan and A&R guru Tom Zutaut, and when “shit hit the fan,” they both abandoned Rose to deal with the repercussions. Poor, defenseless Axl!)

The complete episode is now available below for your viewing pleasure. Other highlights include a live performance of “Live and Let Die,” and Eddie Trunk looking as though he’s struggling to stay awake through this wee-hours-of-the-morning chat.

-AR

I have honestly never seen That Metal Show, but you’re goddamn right I set my DVR to record it tonight. ‘Cause tonight they’re gonna air the interview they conducted with Axl Rose a couple of weeks ago, and if I’m not mistaken, this is Rose’s first on-camera interview since 2002, and his first in-depth non-email interview since the release of Chinese Democracy three years ago.

“But what do you expect to see, dude?” you’re asking. “Axl is nuts. This won’t be good.”

I agree that Axl is nuts, but that’s precisely WHY I think this will be fun to watch. If the preview clips of the interview which have already been released (below) are any indication, Axl is a) in a good mood, b) paradoxically really upfront (he admits that he felt the pressure to finish Chinese Democracy and make it great, and he seems aware that a portion of his “fans” actually hate him) and not really upfront at all (he still refuses to take the blame for his tardiness), and c) completely paranoid and delusional in the most entertaining way possible (he thinks people see him as a dictator because of a joke Izzy made in an interview back in the 80s, and says he was pressured into touring behind Use Your Illusion). I mean, regardless of what actual, concrete info we actually take away from this interview, there’s no way it’s not gonna be good television.

The interview premieres tonight at 11 PM ET/PT on VH1 Classic, although if you don’t have cable, I assume it will be all over the internet in due time. Meanwhile, like I was sayin’ a second ago, you can check out a bunch of preview clips below and after the jump.

Lulu was originally announced as a “secret recording project,” and I thought that the use of the phrase “recording project” meant that we would never, ever have to hear this shit live.” Unfortunately, I was incorrect, ’cause Loutallica performed the song “Iced Honey” on the BBC’s Later… With Jools Holland last night. So if you’ve been dying for someone to combine the unadulterated awfulness of Lulu with the embarrassing sloppiness of modern Metallica live, well, boy oh boy do we have a treat for you!

The band also covered The Velvet Underground’s “White Light/White Heat.” I haven’t actually watched this clip because I’d like to preserve my untainted memory of the song, but you’re free to check it out after the jump.

Click to read more…

Jesus doesn’t have time to end world hunger or stop war or just return and make his followers shut up about it already, but he does watch Polish reality shows, and he was not happy about Nergal, that Satan worshipping bastard, being a judge on that country’s version of the reality program The Voice (in which some celebrity judges look for the next great blah blah blah). And so, recently, Nergal was fired from that program.

But I guess not before he’d already filmed a few episodes, ’cause now Heavy Blog is Heavy has video of him rocking out to some lady covering Maiden, and giving her some advice, as well. Check it out below.

And here’s the translation of what Nergal was saying (also courtesy of HBiH), in case you don’t, y’know, speak Polish:

Click to read more…

Everyone remembers Bob Larson, right? He’s the evangelical radio personality that Glenn Benton used to prank phone call?

Well, that dude somehow got Mayhem bassist Necrobutcher (né Jørn Stubberud) to agree to be the victim beneficiary of an exorcism on Norwegian television, and that footage is now available for your viewing pleasure. Check it out below; it starts around the 22 minute mark. And, yes, it is highly, highly entertaining, in no small part because Larson is a humorless, self-righteous prick, and Necrobutcher is… well, he’s also pretty humorless, but the difference is that he’s, y’know, right.

In case you somehow forgot, Mayhem are headlining tonight’s Metal Suckfest pre-game at the Gramercy Theatre here in NYC; the show also features Keep of Kalessin, Hate, Abigail Williams, and Woe. Tickets are still available! Come see some awesome black metal, hang out with us, and let kick off the weekend’s festivities early. We’ll see ya there!

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

(“My Ivy League education taught me how to over-analyze the Norwegian church burnings into Oblivion!”)

I’m not a metal isolationist, and I’m all for seeing our favorite genre given exposure in mainstream media outlets; just the other day I praised Pitchfork’s Brandon Stosuy for doing a great job in bringing metal back to the famed indie snob publication, and I’ve said that I think it’s pretty cool that NPR is getting into the metal game. But Sasha Frere-Jones’ recent black metal focus piece in the New Yorker made me want to punch a wall.

I’ve always had a problem with Frere-Jones’ writing; it’s my personal belief that music critics should spend more time writing about the actual MUSIC than the cultural events and historical significance surrounding it. Frere-Jones’ articles generally read like pretentious college history papers that prove made-up theses for the sake of proving made-up theses instead of any kind of analysis of what’s going on inside the notes, what’s being played. But let’s leave that aside for now and take this most recent article at face value; it stinks anyway.

Click to read more…

I saw Mastodon perform material from Crack the Skye three times during that album cycle, and the vocals were, frankly, cringe-inducing each and every time.  I understand that live performances won’t always be perfect, but I generally expect singers’ performances to be at least vaguely steady and in the same key as the rest of the song. So listening to Mastodon’s The Hunter, one of my major concerns was that there was no chance the band would be able to duplicate the vocal performances live.

But the band performed “Curl of the Burl” on The Late Show With David Letterman last night, and the vocals actually sounded pretty good! I mean, not like Dio-good or anything, but definitely not distractingly bad. I hope they sound this good when I see them in concert next month; this is a level of quality I could totally live with.

The Hunter is out now on Reprise/Warner Bros. You can get tour dates here.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]

It’s no secret that non-metal singer Ryan Adams is a metal fan. And I have a cousin who is so enamored of Adams that he has sent me multiple e-mails trying to persuade me to attempt to add Adams to the line-up for The Metal Suckfest, possibly to perform his kind-of-but-not-really metal album, Orion, in its entirety. Alas, I did some investigating, and we would not be able to afford the SWAT team it would take to protect Adams from the crowd.

ANYWAY, perhaps as part of this campaign to get Adams on the MSF bill, that very same cousin sent me the below mp3 of Adams recently discussing metal on NPR. It’s brief and worth a listen, not just to hear what Adams has to say about his own metal fandom, but for the reveal I have now spoiled in the headline. Which I guess isn’t really too shocking, ’cause, seriously, what’s more metal than A Walk to Remember?

MANDY MOORE LOVES VOIVOD

Apparently this isn’t the first time Moore’s love of the Canadian outfit has come up in conversation, so, uh, shame on me for not following her career more closely.

-AR

Last year, the cover of Revolver‘s “Hottest Chicks in Metal/Hard Rock/Whatever” issue was graced by a girl so young that even thinking about her while masturbating should be illegal. This year, though, Evanescence’s Amy Lee is on the cover. Thinking about her while masturbating should be illegal, too, but just because her music was recently indicted for war crimes by the UN, not because she’s too young or anything. Because she’s thirty. “Thirty?!?!” Ted Nugent screamed in disappointment when reached for comment. “I wouldn’t even take a viagra for that old, wrinkly vagina!”

Oh well. At least they didn’t Photoshop the image in order to ensure that she met with unrealistic standards of physical beauty. Oh wait.

-AR

[via Metal Injection]

It will probably not surprise you to learn that I’m a big fan of politically-themed talk shows that are hosted by sarcastic pricks and feature panels of people arguing and often insulting one another. And one of my favorite such shows is HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, which I watch religiously.

And I found this past Friday night’s episode especially fun, because one of the guests was none other than Tom Morello, who was ostensibly on the show to help promote his new solo outing as The Nightwatchman, World Wide Rebel Songs. Now, honestly, I’m not a huge fan of Morello’s post-Rage Against the Machine output, but hearing him talk about the inspiration for this album (I won’t spoil it for you here) did make me wanna give it a second, and more attentive, listen. I know that anyone with political views like Morello’s will be a divisive figure, and I’m sure there are plenty of you who violently disagree with him; sometimes I think he may even be too left for me. But there’s no arguing that he’s not a smart dude with plenty of interesting things to say.

For some reason the episode doesn’t seem to be streaming on the show’s official website, but someone made a shitty rip for YouTube, so you can check out Morello’s part of the show in three sections below. And then praise him/tear into him in our comments section below.

Click to read more…