I don’t watch NCIS: Los Angeles, or the regular NCIS, for that matter, but last week the reader known “The Flying Scotsman” (That’s a silly handle, everyone knows Scottish people can’t fly!) tipped us off that a recent episode of the former show had included a pretty funny bit involving the names of various metal bands. At the time only the full episode was available for streaming, but last night Scott Ian from Anthrax — one of the bands referenced in the scene — tweeted the individual clip. So now that you don’t hafta skim the whole episode to get to the one metal-relevant joke, I thought you might enjoy seeing it.

And if not, well, blow me. I’m trying to keep you guys entertained, you could at least be grateful, dicks.

Funny, no? I think there’s actually a little bit more in the full scene, but you get the idea.

And then I found twenty bucks.

-AR

Holy shit, this is at least the second funniest thing I’ve seen all day. I have no idea where these old interviews are from or exactly what year they were conducted (I mean clearly it’s the early 90s sometime but I don’t know the precise dates or anything), but they are absolutely priceless, and definitely a must-watch. Highlights include:

• James Hetfield when he was still drunk, mean, and inarticulate.
• Scott Ian discussing offering to help a friend kill Joey Belladonna “and his chick and then bury them in one of his unused wells where they’ve been digging for water.” (Ian and Belladonna obviously get along much better now.)
• Kirk Hammett saying that if Dave Mustaine had never been fired from Metallica, “I would be playing with Megadeth… well, with better vocals, though. ‘Cause I can sing better than that guy.”
• Someone massacring a copy of So Far, So Good… So What? with a shotgun.
• Interviews with some of the smartest metal fans in the history of the genre.

Seriously, drop what you’re doing and watch this, you will not regret it.

-AR

Major props to Shane Gillis for sending this in!!!

Last week we gave ya’ll the opportunity to win a signed CD booklet from Kingdom of Sorrow’s latest, Behind the Blackest Tears. Since we installed the new commenting system it’s been easier to sort through these entries based on the number of “likes” each comment receives, but this week’s winner — by far the funniest — didn’t have any likes at all:

• Worksofein: “Deathspell Bromega.”

I’m officially making the switch from the Top Hard Music chart to the Current Hard Music chart for the purposes of this column. While it’s interesting to see what classic Metallica and Aerosmith albums are charting and I still may occasionally reference the former, the latter chart paints a much clearer picture of the modern metal landscape by opening up more room for new records that sell less than classics, allowing a larger number of relevant new releases to place in the Top 100.

This chart has a slightly different way of tallying new releases, where sometimes they appear as having already been on for one week before official release — I’m still sorting through precisely what that difference is — so occasionally the chart positions are a little mixed up. But this only comes into play much farther down the list and this chart still provides a good gauge of relativity.

Now, onto the releases: as you all no doubt know, Mastodon and Machine Head were the biggies last week, and both did quite well — but the album that ended up at #1 is also a debut, and none of us saw it coming. Sebastian Bach, Warbringer and Maylene & The Sons of Disaster fared well in Week 1, while new records from Rose Funeral, Textures, Suffokate, Rwake, Brutal Truth and many, many more also appeared in the Top 100.

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The “Top Hard Music” Chart I’ve been using for this column for the past couple of years is a mixed bag; on one hand, a lot of the “Top Hard Music” albums are really old albums that continue to sell (Metallica’s Black Album, various greatest hits collections, catalogue albums of whatever big band happens to be on tour at the time, etc) which paints a skewed picture of what I’m really interested in, namely the new stuff. On the other hand, it’s interesting to see how those older albums continue to sell.

I was recently alerted to the existence of a different chart, “Current Hard Music;” I’m not sure what the criteria is for what constitutes “Current” as some albums on this chart have been on for 90+ weeks and some artists are certainly not “current” by any means, but it does seem to paint a much better picture of the sales of newer albums. Without perrenial classics and greatest hits comps hogging up precious chart space, fewer units need to be sold for a band to get into the Top 100 on the “Current” chart. I am contemplating a move to focusing on that chart in the future. For now, I’ll stick with Top Hard Music with some added albums from the bottom of the other chart. What do you guys think?

Anyway, this week we’ve got big debuts from Pearl Jam and Opeth, big second week drops from a number of artists (Anthrax, Dream Theater and more) that still have pretty big sales numbers, and a look at some albums that came out earlier this year (Black Dahlia Murder, All Shall Perish, more).

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Just one week after playing in Yankee Stadium with Anthrax as part of the “Big 4″ show, drummer Charlie Benante has shocked both the metal and baseball worlds by announcing his decision to ditch metal and throw away his long-time allegiance to the New York Yankees; Benante is now a New York Met.

“It was the show in Yankee Stadium that did it to me. I was disgusted by the attitude and hubris of that organization and their fans. What a bunch of pompous lunks,” said Benante when asked about signing with the cross-town rivals of his childhood favorite team. “I like being the underdog. Let’s be honest, the Mets stink right now and could use my help.” Indeed, with Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz in deep financial trouble due to the pending lawsuit from Bernie Madoff recovery fund trustee Irving Picard, Benante provides an affordable option for the Mets moving forward.

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Last week was a big, big sales week for new metal releases, I’d imagine one of the highest cumulative tallies of the year so far. The #1 through #6 entries on the Top Hard Music charts could all be considered smashes in today’s relative terms, with Dream Theater, Anthrax and others making big splashes. Arch/Matheos, Vader and Wolves in the Throne Room also had nice debuts. Let’s look at the numbers:

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Wolves in the Throne Room | NYC @ The Bell House | 12 Sep 2011 from (((unartig))) on Vimeo.

Last week Axl and I were taxed with the decision of choosing between Wolves In the Throne Room and classic thrash not once, but twice. On Monday, September 12th, Wolves played mere blocks from the Vince Division of the MS Mansion at The Bell House, and Axl and I had for weeks been staunchly instisting on attending this show over the “secret” Anthrax show at the Best Buy Theater in Manhattan because we’re jaded bloggers. But as hype for the Anthrax show mounted we caved… and I do not think we made the wrong decision. The ‘Thrax played an awesome headline set including 3 new jams from the super-great Worship Music, there were myriad special guests and all-star jams, it was fun all around. On Wednesday the 14th Wolves played another set in Brooklyn, but this time we gave in to Big 4 hype and graciously accepted access to the Yankees press box from whence we live blogged. Again, do not regret; seeing a rock show in Yankee fucking Stadium was quite an experience (still, fuck the Yankees).

It’s unfortunate we didn’t get to see Wolves in the Throne Room this time around because they rarely come east and their live show is really something to witness. Watching this excellent footage by the always reliable (((unartig))) makes me feel like I really missed out. I can’t get into Wolves in the Throne Room records (although our own Kellhammer loves their new record Celestial Lineage); for me it’s all about the live show, getting lost in the soundscapes and atmosphere, just letting go and allowing the music to take you over. Next time.

-VN

[via Metal Injection]

via WWTDD

So much of this week ended up being devoted to the Big Four that I honestly don’t wanna think about any of those bands again for at least the remainder of the year. So to wrap this shit up, here’s everything Big Four-related we did this week:

• We live snarked the Big Four show at Yankee Stadium.
• We went to an Anthrax press conference.
• We went to the Metal Masters clinic and saw Phil Anselmo jam some Pantera with various Big Fourers.
• We debated the merits and demerits of Anthrax’s Worship Music.
• We listened to Lars Ulrich on Howard Stern.
• We had fun at the expense of Dave Mustaine’s faith.
• We had a Big Four edition of Show Us Your Metalsucks.
• We helped Metal Injection with their Big Four-themed Livecast.
• I also made an appearance in Metal Injection’s Big Four video recap, which you MUST watch because a) it’s awesome and b) I’m so handsome!

Hey-o!!! If you’re not sick of listening to us ramble on and on about The Big Four yet, I’m gonna be on the Metal Injection Livecast tonight at 8 pm eastern/7 pm central to continue to discuss the show. You can even call in at 646-929-1357 if you wanna ask a specific question, or tell us what assholes we are for not saying unconditionally nice things about each and every band and daring to have an opinion. (I know one of you left a comment under our live snark yesterday saying you hope I die in front of my parents, which seems like a pretty reasonable punishment for daring to suggest that Metallica in 2011 might not be the best thing ever.)

Listen here. The fun starts at 8 pm eastern/7 pm central.

-AR

As Axl mentioned during last night’s Big 4 Live Snark, Rob and I headed down into the bowels of Yankee Stadium after Megadeth’s set to attend the Anthrax press conference. It was in the very same room we see on TV after every game, where Joe Girardi has to explain why he’s still sticking with A.J. Burnett, why Mo melted down in the 9th or why A-Rod failed in the clutch again, Yankees backdrop behind the band and everything. In the bubble that is MetalSucks World, “press conference” usually just consists of interviewing a band member one-on-one in some smokey, puke-infested backstage area, or on rare occasions on a tour bus, so this was a pretty unique experience for us.

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We have successfully arrived at Yankee Stadium and are sitting in the press box. We feel so professional!

We’re gonna put the live blog after the jump so it doesn’t eat up the entire page. You’ll hafta refresh to get updates. Sorry.

And now, enjoy the snark…

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That’s right! The wait is finally just about over; tomorrow, Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax will play Yankee Stadium in the Boogie Down Bronx. If you can’t make, fret not — thanks to a last minute invitation to hang out in the press room, we’ll be there, and Rob from Metal Injection and myself are going to live blog the whole event right here on MetalSucks! Come for the descriptions of all the fun and excitement that you’re missing, and stay for what is sure to be witty commentary completely lacking in sarcasm and/or sophomoric humor.

Anthrax are scheduled to take the stage at 4 pm; I imagine we’ll get started shortly beforehand, and, internet connectivity and sobriety level allowing, continue to give you the blow-by-blow throughout the afternoon and evening. Join us, won’t you?

-AR

Damn. After a few slow weeks of new releases, we have a ton of new stuff coming out this week, including new stuff from Anthrax, Dream Theater, Wolves in the Throne Room, Haste the Day, Vader, Primus and my personal favorite, Elks, plus many more. We have officially entered the fall new release season!

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Whether you’re going to the Big Four show at Yankee Stadium tomorrow and wanna start pre-gaming early or you’re just in the NYC area and looking for something fun to do this evening, do not forget: we’re teaming up with  Metal Injection, Metal Insider, and Metal Army to throw a massive Big 4 pre-party at our favorite bar, Idle Hands. John Jospeh from Cro-Mags is DJing, and there are gonna be some other metal celebs in attendance, although if you wanna know who… we’ll, you’ll just have to be there, won’t you?

$4 drafts starting at 7 pm; you can get even more details from Idle Hands’ website. See ya there!!!

-Axl & Vince

If you’re not a musician, last night’s Metal Masters Clinic 2 — held prior to Anthrax’s so-secret-everyone-knew-about-it show at the Best Buy Theater in NYC — was probably a massive bore. But to everyone else (like me!) it was a wet dream come true; Mike Portnoy having a drum-off with Charlie Benante, Ellefson talking about famous Megadeth bass riffs, Frankie Bello talking about watching porn and playing bass at the same time, all of them jamming on some classic tunes together, and, most notably, this:

Ian, Bello, Benante, Ellefson, Portnoy, Kerry King and Phil Anselmo performing two Pantera cuts. It’s the kind of staged event that might otherwise be cringe-worthy in its attempt at spontaneity, but who gives a shit? As a fan it was really cool to see all those guys jamming up there at once. It was also my first time seeing Anselmo perform Pantera songs live.

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Few records could be as intrinsically polarizing as Anthrax’s Worship Music, the thirteen-song set whose release tomorrow ends a maddening period of band tumult while launching a new era with singer Joey Belladonna. It’s an album with history, having been completed with a new vocalist, imperiled by the new vocalist, shelved, shuffled, completed again by Belladonna and producer Jay Ruston, and now, at least, unveiled for the world to hear. In other words, Worship Music has arrived with baggage; how much of it will fit in your trunk?

Representing at least two attitudes toward Anthrax 2011, our MetalSucks official roundtable review of Worship Music is co-authored by a John Bush era devotee (MS Co-Editor-In-Chief Axl Rosenberg) and a long-suffering Belladonna booster (MS Senior Editor Anso DF). On the fence about Worship Music? Sick of one-sided, insight-free criticism? Bemused by the way MetalSucks disagrees with itself? Then join Axl and Anso as they grapple with the meaning of this year’s most dangerous album.

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Axl and Anso are working on something very special surrounding the release of Anthrax’s forever-in-the-works Worship Music, which comes out tomorrow after 8 painstaking years of writing, recording, hiring new singers and firing old ones (and re-hiring old ones again, multiple times), re-recording, and, for us, waiting. But it’s finally here. I’ll leave the critical analysis for Axl and Anso, but here’s my two cents about the album in a nutshell: it rocks.

Worship Music rocks so much, in fact, that I’m attending tonight’s “secret” Anthrax show at the Best Buy theater in NYC mainly because I want to hear the band perform the new stuff live. When’s the last time you went to see Metallica, Megadeth or Slayer hoping to see them perform new shit? My guess is you haven’t because “new shit” is synonymous with “bathroom break” ’round those parts, especially if you’re under the age of 30. But Anthrax, no doubt because of their underdog status as #4 of the Big 4, still have the fire, still have the passion, still have something to prove, and the new songs prove that. This performance of “The Devil You Know” on Jimmy Fallon’s late night TV joint shows that they still got it and that they’re pumped to be where they are. The mix is absolute shit but Belladonna sounds good… most importantly, the energy is all there.

-VN

[via Metal Insider]

I meant to remind you guys yesterday but I’m a dick so I forgot — Arch Enemy’s North American Khaos Tour, which we here at MetalSucks are very proudly co-presenting, is now underway! I’ve been trying to find fan-filmed footage from last night’s kickoff show in Baltimore to no avail, but I hear the concert was great… which is really no shock. Especially given that the three support bands — DevilDriver, Skeletonwitch, and Chthonic — are all as much fun as Arch Enemy! You can get dates here. If anyone is gonna be at the NYC show tonight, come find us. I’ll be the really, really not-sober guy in the back screaming for them to play “Savage Messiah” over and over again.

Now, here’s some stuff we did this week:

• We debuted new music from Black Cobra.
• We also debuted an outtake from the movie Hesher and a clip from Fantomas’ new live DVD.
• We spoke to Charlie Benante from Anthrax and Avi Kulawy from Magrudergrind.
• We checked out the latest releases from Brutal Truth, Wolves in the Throne Room,and Bloodsoaked.
• We debated the merits of new songs from Mastodon, Opeth, and Megadeth.
• We launched The Third Annual “Run MetalSucks for a Day” contest.
• Vince listed “The Top Fifteen Reasons Metallica are the Yankees of Metal,” and then The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley offered a retort.
• We fucked Bret Michaels in the motherfucking eye.
• We voted for Sergeant D.’s acoustic cover of The Acacia Strain.
• We almost had to kill a puppy.

And, oh hey, did we mention that tickets for The Metal Suckfest are on sale now? We did? Okay, swell!

Have a good weekend, y’all. See ya Monday.

-AR

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (not really at all) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

This week ‘s question was suggested to us by the reader known as “Cougar Party”:

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RIFF OF 2011 THUS FAR?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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