When Filter mainman Richard Patrick went into rehab in 2002, it marked the end of the industrial-rock band’s rad second line-up. That means it’s been about a decade since the Filter that made Title Of Record (super classic!) and The Amalgamut (epic!), and since then jeez I haven’t caught sight of Patrick’s old team like at all. Which is surprising, cuz drummer Steve Gillis is a stud (here) and guitarist Geno Lenardo co-wrote this phase of Filter’s biggest (here) and biggest-selling jamz (here).

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I had never heard of The Raid before last week, when it debuted at the currently-in-progress Toronto International Film Festival to rave word of mouth. I’ve seen a lot of comparisons online to John Woo’s Hard Boiled, which is high praise indeed. And the trailer (below) certainly looks quite kick-ass. (And very violent. I guess that makes is NSFW. Fair warning.)

Unfortunately, The PRP tells me that — as the above headline states — Linkin Suck’s Mike Shitoda is scoring the film. I don’t know if that’s his music in the trailer or temp music, but it certainly sounds Linkin Suck-ish, which is a bummer. Hopefully, Shitoda’s musc will be innocuous in the final film, and therefore won’t distract from all the ridiculous gore that I’ll be paying to see.

No word yet on when The Raid is getting a wide release, but here’s the official synopsis of the film, courtesy Collider:

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Have you ever noticed that the bands who metal nerds fawn over today were universally-despised rage magnets just a few short years ago? For example, trashing Pantera in 2011 is asking to get chased with torches and pitchforks — the polar opposite of 1993, when you would be hard-pressed to find a band that metal nerds hated more. Or how everybody jizzes over Suffocation now, but in the mid-90s you couldn’t read two pages of Metal Maniacs without someone pissing and moaning about “Suffoclones.” Are metal nerds crazy, or is there some rhyme and reason to their seemingly-contradictory behavior?? I believe that there is indeed a way to understand metal nerds, but it’s not what you might think!

Psychologists have long compared metal nerds to women. The similarities are certainly undeniable: like the fairer sex, they are fickle, emotional, and irrational. They even have long hair! However, my research suggests that, unlike women, they actually operate by a primitive form of logic and are highly predictable. After the break: my SCIENTIFIC MODEL OF METAL NERD PSYCHOLOGY, the FOUR KINDS OF METAL BANDS, and an exclusive METAL NERD CHEAT SHEET that reveals a foolproof formula for whether you should like a band or not!

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Reader John Schwarz alerted us to the existence of the Epicenter Festival, and if you told me that the show’s bookers designed it specifically to make sure that no one from MetalSucks attended, well, I’d believe it. Look at this shitfest:

There are a handful of insanely popular, maddeningly terrible modern rock acts not on the bill — Nickelback, Korn, Linkin Park, Godsmack, Creed, and Hinder all come to mind — which is too bad, because if they were playing this fest, we’d be like one major earthquake away from being done with some of the worst bands in the history of sound. The only good news about this thing’s existence is that it has made me aware of several awful bands I didn’t previously know, so that now if anyone is ever like “Hey, wanna check out Skillet?”, I can respond, “Couldn’t you just hammer a rusty nail into my penis instead?”

-AR

Vince isn’t here, so I guess it falls to me to take over his regular “Neilstein SoundScam” column… BWA-HA-HA!!!

Some of the more noteworthy sales stats from the latest Top Hard Music charts after the jump!

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Dana Carvey hosted Saturday Night Live this week, and a good portion of the show was a nostalgia-fest devoted to reminding us that once upon a time, the dude was a big star. Luckily, the sketch devoted to the return of the most metal public access show in Aurora, IL, went first, so it had the benefit of seeming charming. And it was actually pretty funny, so it had the benefit of not being everything else on SNL.

And then they had to go and ruin it with a million references to characters Carvey used to play, and multiple Linkin Park performances. Did you know that all these years later that band still hasn’t gotten any better? And no longer play rock music? And now the rapper sings, the singer raps, everyone lip synchs to the perfectly harmonized backing vocals, and the guitar player plays everything but guitar? Kind of amazing.

ANYWAY, here’s that Wayne’s World sketch. This is the first time a Def Leppard shirt has been worn on national television during the 21st century, and it may be the last.

-AR

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

This week, Anso DF suggested the Question of the Week; unfortunately, he did so before Slipknot announced that they’re headlining the Sonisphere Festival this year, so it doesn’t seem quite as relevant anymore. Still, it was a fun question to answer, so:

TO WHAT EXTENT WOULD A SLIPKNOT BREAK-UP BE BAD FOR METAL?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli.

Hey everyone. It’s that time of the month where you unleash a torrent of viscous bloody discharge guessing our new Hall of Fame and we plug up the hole with a six-month subscription to Decibel. I’ve noticed some dude in the comments regularly positing Linkin Park Hybrid Theory. You know That One Guy at the bar who hits on every chick that passes because eventually somebody’s statistically inclined to say yes? Well, there’s a moral to that story: persistence pays! Someday, my friend… someday.

Anyway, this sound clip/hint may be a little tough to decipher, as the subject lacks the graceful elocution of Chester Bennington, so a helpful transcription follows:

“I think everybody was kind of into certain metal. Maybe not the aesthetic behind it, or any of the ideologies or lack thereof. But certainly the musical style. I think we’d all grown up with Black Sabbath since childhood, basically. I remember being in preschool and I had older brothers, so they had Paranoid by Black Sabbath. And I remember of all the songs on there, the one I was most fascinated by was ‘Electric Funeral’ because of the wah-wah. And I remember sitting there in first grade and opening and closing the opening to my ear with my finger and making the teacher’s voice sound like a wah-wah. Kind of like on the Charlie Brown Christmas special, you know, when the teacher talks and it’s like wah-wah-wah. So, we kind of had an affinity for that going literally way back to our early consciousness.”

Yeah, I can see how that special would be influential. Anyway, you know the drill: artist and title FTW.

DECIBEL HALL OF FAME FEBRUARY 2011

DECIBEL HALL OF FAME FEBRUARY 2011

-AB

You can order the January issue of Decibel here, but the only way to ensure that you never miss the mag’s sexcellent new monthly flexi disc series to get a full subscription. And tell ‘em Charlie Brown sent you.

I haven’t needlessly lumped self newly-released videos together in awhile, and these three clips were all released pretty much at once, so I figured, “Hey, why not?” After the jump, check out the latest audio-visual offerings from Torche, Helloween, Linkin Park, and Your Demise… plus my usual bullshit commentary, of course.

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Don’t you dare call Decibel an “analog blog,” cocksucker — it’s a FUCKING MAGAZINE. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli.

Haven’t seen much coverage of future Greatest Album of All-Time short-lister A Thousand Suns around these parts, aside from Axl’s assessment last month: that “The good news is that Linkin Park’s new single, ‘The Catalyst,’ doesn’t sound exactly like every other song the band has ever recorded; the bad news is, it might actually be worse.” [Also, this thing today, although that was written after Andrew handed this in. Oh, well. - AR] While Diddy respectfully disagrees with your fearless co-leader, everyone else on earth with an IQ on the right side of the bell curve is firmly ensconced in the “sweet Jesus, this is some goofy bullshit” corner.

A select few, however, have a great deal of fun acknowledging the goofy bullshittery. One such stalwart is our fully automated nü-metal reviews generator, Decibot, which just earned its first-ever bit of unauthorized-in-every-way-imaginable merch. We caught up with the honoree after a mismatched burrito-eating contest with Dino Cazares’ Boss CH-1 Super Chorus [not pictured here:], and the response was anything but mechanical:

“100,000+ custom edits to the Microsoft Word spell checker and Decibot is still at a loss for words. Show your support for the robot uprising with this handsome cotton T-shirt depicting yours truly, Decibot. Does Decibot look fat in this picture? Yes, but Vince Neilstein applies the kung-fu grip to Edsel Dope’s ding-dong every three months or so during a slow news day at the MetalSucks mansion. See? We all have things we’re ashamed of. Plus, how else will Decibot hustle up the cash for the new Linkin Park album when Andrew Bonazelli is checking the couch cushions for coins every night and the Decibel editorial board has applied a ‘No Vinnie Paul’ rule in regards to auctioning home appliances on eBay? All your fashion sense are belong to us. Be the envy of the Hot Topic nerd down the block. Decibot generally prefers to be a ‘bottom,’ but here’s the one instance where it feels good to be a top.”

-AB

Do what the robot says and buy a t-shirt, or be condemned to spend the rest of your putrid, miserable existence listening exclusively to (hed) p.e. While you’re at it, you might as well buy yourself a copy of the October 2010 issue of Decibel, or just go ahead and buy yourself a full subscription. Andrew Bonazelli could really use the money for upkeep on his collection of rare action movie novelizations… we hear that The Expendables first edition hardcovers are gonna cost an arm and a leg.

Here’s J. Robert Oppenheimer, a.k.a. “the father of the atomic bomb,” quoting the Bhagavad Gita. This is a famous television broadcast and there’s a very good chance you’ve either seen it before or are at least aware of it, but in case you haven’t…

So. Reader James M. e-mailed us earlier this week, advising us that Linkin Suck’s new album, A Thousand Sucks, was streaming, and requesting that we review it.

And I tried to listen to it for review purposes. I really did. I think I even made it like halfway through the third or fourth song before I turned it off. I just… things have been really busy around here lately and I don’t have time for this shit right now, okay? I’m sorry, James. I really gave it my best shot. Let’s just logically conclude that I would have not have given it a good review and leave it at that.

BUT. Before I turned off the album, I heard this one song — actually I think it’s less than a minute long, so maybe we should just call it an “interlude” — that utilized a sample from Oppenheimer’s broadcast. And as I’m listening, I’m thinking, “Wait, I know there’s another, better band that uses this same sample.” And because I’ve fried an awful lot of brain cells, it took me a minute to figure it out — and then, wham!, it hit me.

Origin use the same sample at the start of their song “Antithesis,” the abso-fucking-lutely EPIC title track from their 2008 album.

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I detest the Saw franchise. Not because of the deplorable violence; on the contrary, I don’t know what cinema is for if not showing people getting slaughtered in horrific and nightmarish ways. Just because I think they’re retarded, and not fun. When I was a young ‘un, slasher films were things like the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street movies — sure, they were idiotic and not at all scary, but the best ones (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives, A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: The Dream Warriors, etc.) had a real sense of wit about them that made for an awesome communal experience at the movies. The Saw series is humorless and bad, which is not a winning combination. (Piranha 3D reminds me much more of the splatter flicks of yore.)

But for whatever reason I just watched this new trailer for the upcoming Saw 3D — which is allegedly going to be the last in the franchise, at least until next year’s inevitable “reboot” — and I couldn’t help but notice a gentlemen who looks an awful lot like Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington, a.k.a. “The Motherfucking Anti-Christ,” stuck in one of Jigsaw’s traps. So I looked on IMDB, and, sho’ ’nuff, Bennington is in the movie. Of course, I have no way of knowing if he survives the trap or not, but I’m hopeful he suffers some kind of gory end that I can watch on a loop and pretend is real while laughing my ass off.

Bennington also had cameos in the Crank movies, which I enjoyed quite a bit. So I guess not everything he touches turns to shit.

-AR

The good news is that Linkin Park’s new single, “The Catalyst,” doesn’t sound exactly like every other song the band has ever recorded; the bad news is, it might actually be worse. Zach Shaw at Metal Insider points out that the tune has an uncanny resemblance to Turkey’s entry in the 2010 Eurovision contest, which is to say, Linkin Park now sound like a terrible disco rock band that might be enjoyed by a Sacha Baron Cohen character. This might even ruin the new Medal of Honor for me, if I didn’t already know that I’m just gonna turn the sound off and crank Prostitute Disfigurement while I kill things anyway.

-AR

I know that making fun of Linkin Park is like making fun of a retarded cripple — it’s just not fair and probably not nice. Except that this particular retarded cripple happens to have more money than some small countries and is worshipped around the world by other retarded cripples.

So. I just saw the cover art for the new Linkin Park album, A Thousand Suns. And as I was looking it at it, I had two thoughts. The first thought was, “What the fuck am I looking at?” But the second, more pressing thought was, “Why does this look so familiar?”

And then it hit me:

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There’s still no official release date for Gold Cobra, the most heavily anticipated recording in the history of music and sure to be the highest selling release of all time — or, at least, since Chinese Democracy. (I’ve heard that executives throughout the industry feel confident that Cobra will single-handedly revive CD sales. “There’s nothing out there right now with this kind of scope,” an unpaid intern who just started in the Interscope mailroom, and thinks he has a really bright future with the label, told me.) And while the anticipation is killing me, at least I know when I can run to Walmart and get my hands on the new Linkin Park album: the band has announced a September 14 release date for their latest offering, A Thousand Suns. It was produced by Rick Rubin, the man who made Metallica totally cool and relevant again.

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Holy crap. I don’t even really mind some of Eminem’s older stuff, which can be a lot of fun, given the right circumstances (namely forties, weed, and a bunch of white dudes feeling nostalgia for ten years ago). But this if AWFUL. I mean, it’s still better than Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park, mostly ’cause Eminem is a wwwwaaayyyy better rapper than Fred Durst or Mike Shitoda, but that’s like saying it’s better to lose your finger than your entire hand, y’know?

-AR

[via Metal Army]

As managing editor of Decibel, Andrew Bonazelli makes your life better each and every month by helping to give you an outlet to discover awesome new music, learn what your favorite bands are up to, sound more intelligent to your friends by plagiarizing opinions that aren’t your own, and have something to read in the bathroom.

Now, with the release of his second short novel, A Regular – the first literary endeavor from Vitriol Records, the label founded by Justin Smith of Graf Orlock/Ghostlimb/Dangers fame — Bonazelli has enriched your life even further, giving you something smaller and more portable to read in the bathroom. Bonus: the book also happens to be really, really good. Here’s a description from the publisher:

“A morose barfly drowns his misguided affection for barely legal trollops in crossword puzzles and wells whiskey. But Murray Baron isn’t just a regular at Seattle dive haven the Kapital — he exists in the bar in perpetuity, days and weeks bleeding formlessly into one another, punctuated only by cock-crushingly banal conversation. When he finally literally unseats himself to save a friend’s life, the decision ignites a series of overlapping absurdist confrontations straight from the id of a 12-year-old. Murray’s fate seems to have been halved into either suffocating barstool inertia or outlandish hyperactive lunacy, and only a highly dubious psychic can help him revisit the pivotal adolescent event that put him in this very literal state of arrested development.”

And if that doesn’t entice you, please be aware that the story also features a robot called “The Eraditroid.”

Awesome. Simply awesome.

After the jump, get the author’s thoughts on why metalheads should care about his book, how Linkin Park and Dennis Cooper have inspired his writing, releasing a novel through a record label, and willfully farting in public. (It’ll make sense if you read the book.) Plus, get a free excerpt from A Regular, so you can have a little taste of how great it is…

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When it comes to music (and other things really), I tend to play devil’s advocate. If everyone is shitting on a certain band, for some reason, I become more attracted to that band and seek them out. I don’t know what it is about my personality, but I think it stems from the same perspective that inspired me to write the antagonistic blog about rethrash. It may be a character flaw, but I’m sure it has something to do with a need to be an individual. From what I gather, this website is inhabited mainly by “true” metal heads. What I define as “true” are people whom are purists in the realm of metal and usually scoff at any band or trend that reeks of premeditated commercialism or an overt play for popularity, and who usually demand a certain level of musicianship and underground credibility. These fans usually hate every Metallica record after …And Justice For All, and for that matter always prefer any particular band’s older releases, which usually have a more raw and unrefined recording quality, as well as more abstract, less traditional song writing. For example, they will prefer Carcass’s Necrotiscim to Heartwork, or Morbid Angel’s Blessed Are The Sick to Domination. Oh yeah, and these guys gave up on In Flames and Soilwork years ago.

I have a good deal of that purism in my bones, but it always seemed short sighted and close minded. You have no idea how many arguments the Adler brothers from Lamb of God and I have gotten into over the merits of a particluar Metallica or Megadeth record. If you even bring up Disturbed or Limp Bizkit on MetalSucks, it is mocked and disregarded 100% of the time. I think metal heads often have a sheep mentality because of the fear of being viewed by their peers as less credible for liking bands that aren’t considered “true” or “real” enough. We all have guilty pleasures, but the real question is “Why should we feel guilty about something we enjoy?”

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A reader known only as “Jonas” sent us the below video of 55 Escape, a Norwegian band whose biggest influences seem to be Korn and Linkin Park, not Enslaved and Immortal.

Here’s why I find this band kind of interesting. (And moving forward, please be aware that “interesting” and “good” are not the same word.) When you think about it for a second, nu-metal seems to be a predominantly American phenomenon. Off the top of my head, I’m having a hard time even naming a nu-metal band from any part of Europe, never mind Norway. Jeff Killed John were British, but they didn’t get famous ’til they swapped the nu for core and rechristened themselves Bullet for My Valentine. Am I forgetting a really, really obvious band? Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Godsmack, Evanescence, Staind, Static-X, Creed, Hed P.E., Snot, P.O.D., Puddle of Mudd, Drowning Pool, Saliva, Coal Chamber, Methods of Mayhem, 40 Below Summer, Sevendust, Ill Nino, Dope, Papa Roach, Soil, The Union Undergound… ALL AMERICAN. What the hell? No wonder the terrorists hate us.

Anyway, thanks to these sperm clots for doing their part in making America look good. Hoo-rah.

-AR

Mike Shitnoda, the ugly Backstreet Boy wannabe who raps for Suckin Suck, recently gave an interview to MTV discussing the band’s follow-up to their last album, Farting Right in Iron Maiden’s Eye Socket. Here are two statements Shitnoda made during that interview that I find fascinating. And by “fascinating,” I mean “delusional.”

“It’s been going great, I feel like it’s an entirely different process and an entirely different style of music than anything we’ve done before. It’s hard to place. People keep asking me, ‘What does it sound like?’ and it’s hard to describe.”

No, it’s not hard to describe, Mikey. It’s going to sound exactly like every other Suckin Suck song ever written. Because all your songs sound exactly the same as that initial shitty song which made you famous. This isn’t my opinion. This is a fact. People have scientifically proven that all that your songs are the same. One dude even made a video about it. Look:

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