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I woke up this morning to a seemingly endless number of headlines announcing that Guns N’ Roses have, indeed, been voted into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame, and I’m as baffled by all the excitement now as I was when the band first became eligible for induction.
Here’s a fun quote from a recent Sammy Hagar interview with Attention Deficit Delirium. Discussing the possibility of a reunion of the original Guns N’ Roses, Hagar says:
“They’ve proved it again and again and again that it ain’t [about] the money. They just don’t get along because Axl goes out for a lot less money with his version of Guns N’ Roses, and Slash goes out for a lot less money with Velvet Revolver or by himself. The amount of money they could make if they got it all back together, made a great record and toured the world would probably be as much as the Rolling Stones [get], and for them not to do it, it obviously ain’t about the money. Because they could do it. I would manage them. I’d be their manager and make sure they got the right deal from all the promoters. They could be the biggest band in the world if they wanted to.”
There’s three things I find funny about this statement:
So long as Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, and Duff McKagan are all involved, no one would be more excited about a reunion of the original Guns N’ Roses than me. Yeah, I’d prefer if Steven Adler were the drummer instead of Matt Sorum, but that seems unlikely, and I’d be willing to settle. I’d be severely depressed about it, but I’d probably even be willing to settle for Gilby Clarke instead of Izzy if it came down to it. And I know there’s really no chance that the reunion would be great; Axl has turned into Yosemite Sam and Slash has a pacemaker and can’t run around the way he used to, so, at best, it would be a total nostalgia trip. But it would be a lot of fun, and given that Rose has completely failed to maintain a stable line-up of G&R (a.k.a. “Guns N’ Roses 2.0,” a.k.a. “Nu-GN’R”) anyway, might as well, right?
And now Guns N’ Roses are one of the fifteen finalist nominees for induction into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame in 2012. And it seems like they have a pretty decent chance of being one of the five artists who will actually get in, despite the fact that they only made four albums of original material in four years and only toured for an additional two, because, well, those albums sold a gajillion copies, and inducting them would, frankly, be good for business. And so, of course, people are starting to get really excited, because if they get inducted, maybe that reunion we’ve all been dreaming about for almost twenty freakin’ years will finally happen, right?
Only here’s the thing: There is absolutely no chance in hell that the original band will reunite, even if they are inducted into a meaningless museum.
Tomorrow marks the twentieth anniversary of the release of Guns N’ Roses’ double-disc opus, Use Your Illuision. It seems like public perception has soured on these albums over the years — even Axl Rose and Slash have accused them of being bloated and over-produced — but I still love ‘em to death. For one thing, seeing as they ended up being the last proper studio albums of original material from the actual Guns N’ Roses (not Axl Rose’s solo group or whatever), I’m glad that the band basically included every song they had written up ’til that point here. And for another thing, I love the diversity of the records — that they didn’t just end up being Appetite for More Destruction. Maybe the Illusion albums ended up being a failed experiment, but I still, to this day, find them to be a pretty exciting experiment*.
So. Since we didn’t do a “Question of the Week” this week, and I wanted to do something to commemorate this anniversary, I thought we’d play a fun game that Vince and I (and a lot of our other friends) used to play in the past: whittling these two mammoth albums down to one collection. Geffen Records actually did that themselves in 1998, releasing a twelve-song single volume version of UYI that, if you ask me, had a pretty strange selection of songs on it… but it’s an entertaining time waster to see if you can do better.
There are no rules to the game, other than a) all the songs on your track list have to come from the Illusions albums (duh), and b) it all has to fit on one CD (roughly 80 minutes), despite the fact that CDs are now obsolete. I’ve included my own personal version after the jump… I’ll be more than a little excited to see all of yours as well.
Sebastian Bach’s new record is surprising and unsurprising. That is, no one who has witnessed the former Skid Row singer’s recent playdates with members of Asking Alexandria and Black Veil Brides could be shocked by Kicking And Screaming‘s slick, modern vibe. Plus, a clue was provided by each of Bach’s personnel moves, be it a 21-year old guitar prodigy, or a producer of tight radio rockers (Shinedown, Saliva) and lovable old guys (Iommi, David Lee Roth). And duh it’s 2011: For mainstream rock, the choice is big production or small potential. And there is nothing small about Sebastian Bach.
Anyway, those were my thoughts during the opening notes of Kicking And Screaming. But the album’s surprise element mounted with each song: He pulled it off! Yes, Bach is great at bright, pop-punkish hard rock throughout the totally lovable Kicking. Eventually it dawned on me that Bach might’ve been supplementing — not discarding — his OG fans via cavorting with scenebros, dissing of today’s Skid Row, and tabloid-friendly barroom antics. Via producer, boy wonder axeman, and his own snarling edge, his aim was a collection of jamz for both sensibilities and their overlap. Via classic Bach thrust and charm, Kicking is a Skid Row fan’s newest friend.
Last week, I spoke with Baz about Kicking And Screaming‘s creative team, singing high, being high, Steven Adler, John 5, Phil Varone, and tons more in an epic MetalSucks interview that crescendos from chill (excited new album chatter) to silly (an impromptu stoner giggle party) to rampage (invective against the Skid Row he never bargained for). Read and laugh!
Duff McKagan, vocalist and lead guitarist of Duff McKagan’s Loaded, bassist for Velvet Revolver, and former bassist of Guns ‘n Roses, took to the interwaves (via phonerview) to slam the “reality” television show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
Ah, Spring! That magical time of year when the sun gets brighter, the days get longer, the birds start tweeting, the flowers start springing forth from the earth and even fans of much-maligned teams like the Pittsburgh Pirates have cause for optimism. Bernie Madoff be damned, there’s 162 games of baseball left to be played ON THE FIELD and I’m gonna be optimistic if I want to, dammit. So eat it.
Here’s the latest round of idiotic news revolving around the band you can pretty much blame for this website’s existence.
First of all, Corey Taylor has been heavily rumored to be the new vocalist for Velvet Revolver, and then a couple of weeks ago, he refused to contradict that rumor, thereby pretty much confirming it. Now Metal Insider tells me that Duff McKagan thinks he’s being cute by pretty much doing the same thing, telling fans during a recent online chat that “I can neither confirm nor deny” that Taylor is the group’s new singer before apparently mistaking Taylor for a can of Pepsi: “He’s the voice of a whole new generation.”
Slipknot’s been around for over a decade now, so I guess McKagan doesn’t actually know what the phrase “new generation” means, but whatever. Like I said last month, there’s absolutely no reason to say shit like this in the press unless Taylor got the job. And at this point, VR absolutely needs to start denying the rumor, or just announce Taylor as the new singer. Because now if he’s not the new singer, whomever the new singer is is gonna hafta be pretty frickin’ awesome and/or famous, or the whole thing is just gonna seem anticlimactic. In fact, if Taylor isn’t the new singer, I’d say they either need to get Robert Plant, or just announce a reunion of the original Guns N’ Roses.
Which, incidentally, some morons think is what’s gonna happen. From Classic Rock:
So I get this email with the above headline as the subject from Metal Sludge’s Stevie Rachelle yesterday and I’m thinking to myself, “Woah, a Top Ten list from Metal Sludge? What, it has to have been like 8 or 9 years since they’ve done one of these! Say it’s so!” Then I click the link (duh), and lo and behold: “We have not done one of these TOP 10 lists in oh, about 8-9 years. So it’s way past due. Metal Sludge’s official Top 10 Drunkest (Living) Rock Stars of All Time!” Alright! Party time! The Sludge is back!
And it’s just like the good ol’ days on Metal Sludge, rife with barbed insults, no punches pulled. Obviously most of the choices are pretty predictable — Vince “Skating Falling with the Stars” Neil is a drunkard, whodathunkit? and Perennial Sad Sack Steven Adler makes a nice showing for himself – but I don’t wanna ruin the rankings for you. Naturally W.A.S.P.’s Chris Holmes’ famous poolside interview, above, makes the cut too. Mandatory watching for those who haven’t seen it.
Hey kids: the tone and wit of Metal Sludge were a huge inspiration for this here metal blog, so do yer homework!
-VN
The reason all the hair-metal autobiographies have been disappointing is because the best hair metal band, Motley Crue, did it first, and did a really killer job (treating it like an oral history told from lots of different perspectives = master stroke), and so there was really no place to go but down. Bret Michaels’ autobiography never actually materialized, Slash’s was good but not great, Steven Adler’s sucked, I only know one person who read Bobby Blotzer’s, and now all the Motley Crue guys are dipping back into that pool for a second or even third time, only without each other because after thirty fucking years they still haven’t figured out that the unit is stronger than each individual. At this point I think it would take everyone who ever worked on Chinese Democracy, including Axl Rose, all banding together to make a The Dirt-style Roshomon piece if anything is even gonna BEGIN to compete with The Crue’s initial tome.
Now glam’s ugly twin, thrash, has started to catch on that there’s an interest in these books. And they don’t seem to be following the same pattern as cock rock. Sure, Dave Mustaine went first, but no one seems to really believe a word of his book, and it’s certainly not a definitive snap-shot of the time and place the way The Dirt is for the Strip in the 80′s. And I obviously have a lot of faith in Phil Anselmo’s upcoming collaboration with MetalSucks’ own Corey Mitchell, but Pantera weren’t purely thrash, and weren’t around for the Big Four’s heyday.
So. Now Noise Creep says that Kirk Hammett is doing his autobiography. (The news actually originated in an interview with Ultimate-Guitar, but I can’t find it. If anybody does, drop me a line.) There’s no word on which lucky writer will score that coveted “with” credit, but here’s a choice quote from Kirk:
Depending on things like our mood, exhaustion level, and the weather, Vince and I may or may not go see Adler’s Appetite tonight. (I’m a GN’R dork, but I didn’t exactly buy tickets in advance, y’know?) And while it might be interesting to see Mr. Adler live in the flesh up really, really close, I have little doubt that the gig itself will be ridiculous. As I understand it, Adler’s Appetite are basically a GN’R cover band, which I guess doesn’t make them that different from Axl’s Guns N’ Roses or Slash’s solo band, only those bands have the Voice of Guns N’ Roses and the Sound of Guns N’ Roses, and Adler’s Appetite has The Dude People Barely Missed When Matt Sorum Took His Place.
I’m not saying I don’t much prefer Adler’s drumming to Sorum’s — I do. I’m just saying, y’know. He may not be the strongest marketing draw.
Apparently Adler’s Appetite kid themselves by playing originals, too, ’cause they’ve released a snippet of a new single, “Alive.” You get the single as a free download when you buy a copy of Adler’s upcoming, guaranteed to be full of shit autobiography, which comes out in October. I really don’t believe that will attract a ton of extra buyers, though. I also don’t believe that this is an original song; I could have sworn I heard Beautiful Creatures, or maybe it was Brides of Destruction, or possibly one of the new L.A. Guns, yeah, maybe the new old L.A. Guns, or I guess it could have been Vains of Jenna… ANYWAY, I could have SWORN I’d heard another modern cock rock band play this song already. Could have SWORN it.
-AR
We now rejoin Allyson B. Crawford (Bring Back Glam!) and Anso DF (MetalSucks) and their riveting analysis of Glam Metal’s Ten Best Must-Have Records.
Get caught up on yesterday’s action here.
***
The hits: “Poison” “Bed of Nails” “House of Fire” “Only My Heart Talkin’”
The heart: “Hell Is Living Without You” “Spark In The Dark” “I’m Your Gun”
Anso: So by 1989′s Trash, Coop had been in a booze stupor for like seven straight albums. The good news was that his successful comeback tour inspired some check-writing at Epic Records. But that support came with strict control, or at least that’s what the presence of Bon Jovi/Kiss/Aerosmith/Ratt hit-maker Desmond Child implies. So Allyson, what’s your stance on Desmond Child?
Allyson: I got to interview Alice Cooper once. One of the highlights of my life, I swear. The man rules. He was all about sobriety when we spoke and I think that’s awesome. Now, Desmond Child. Oh my. I’ve written about him before on Bring Back Glam!. I suppose he is — no, he is a genius, but damn. Aerosmith is my favorite band of all time and Child sort of took away their grit. So that hurt. But for some people he really, really helped and that’s Alice Cooper. Alice needed a hit for a new generation and Trash came along at the right time, didn’t it? Oh and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to meet and interview Desmond Child, so there you go.
Anso: Hey, same here! His stuff is mega-cheesy, but so are delicious Cheetos. Plus, Detonator rules, so it’s easy to forgive misfires like “I Was Made For Lovin’ You.” Oh and of course I warmed to him after VH1 aired that hilarious footage of his collaboration with (and antagonism of) Vince Neil. You saw that right? “Hello-o! Successs!”
Allyson: Yeah, I’ve seen that. Oh, I’ve seen it.
Anso: Okay, Trash was buffed up by a full whack of celebrity guests: Richie Sambora and Jon Bon Jovi, Kip Winger, Guy Mann-Dude, Steve Lukather, and 80% of Aerosmith. I suppose they helped pull chicks and young people to this old man record. Did these guys make Trash more attractive to you in any way?
Allyson: Because I’m a chick? Well, here’s the thing about me. I’ll agree there are some hot guys in rock, but that doesn’t mean much to me when it comes to music I like. If the song rocks, awesome. If not, okay. I like tons of music that is mocked — often right here on MetalSucks, ha! — and I always “go my own way if you will.” Trash is awesome to me because I love the songs. “Only My Heart Talkin’” is a great love song, a completely different type of power ballad. But, back to guests. I usually don’t care about guest stars on albums. I buy records because I want to hear the real band — not a slew of guests, you know?
Anso: Yeah. I’m not an Alice Cooper scholar, but I’ll wager that Trash is his sexiest record. It’s a bit uncomfortable to hear a 41-year old Coop describe passionate banging.
Allyson: As you know, my dear Anso, sexy is in the eyes of the beholder.
Anso: Hey, let’s talk about Trash‘s super-hit, “Poison.” Can you think of any single in history with such a memorably quirky riff? It’s awesome on its own and I love how they set it against different chords in the intro.
Allyson: So I’ve talked to Alice guitarist Keri Kelli a few times. Once I said I was frustrated trying to learn bass and guitar parts for some Alice songs. And Keri said something like, “Look, if you want to learn ‘Poison’ it’s just going to take awhile.” This frustrated me because I have little patience. I think I got off the phone with Keri, looked at the guitar and then sat down with a bag of chips or something. Anyway, yes, “Poison” is freaking epic. One of the best songs of the ’80s. Then again, Alice is a master. I love when the band performs “Poison” live. The crowd always goes batshit crazy.
Anso: What else makes you love this record?
Allyson: Hmm. It’s the sum of its parts I guess. I think all the songs fit well together, there’s not really a dud and the album helped push Alice to the top again. The cover photo is iconic. It was in magazines first and then Alice chose it as his cover — so I remember seeing the image of Alice everywhere as a kid. I had this instant connection to the record I suppose.
I don’t know how this hasn’t made more headlines, given all the hype around Slash’s forthcoming solo album, but: Letters of Note, a website that collects “correspondence deserving of a wider audience,” has unearthed a letter that a fourteen year old Saul Hudson – that’s Slash to you – wrote to Michelle Young, a girl who had recently dumped him for talking about his guitar too much (!), and who would go on to be the subject of Guns N’ Roses’ classic, “My Michelle.”
The letter, written in 1979, features the (not too shabby!) doodles you see above, plus heartfelt Slashian poetry as this:
So Rocklahoma, the once cock-rockalicious festival, may be a wash this year, but it seems that there’s already a new fest to grab ahold of the Aquanet and let us relive our youth gone wile: Rock N America, which take place from July 23 to July 25 in – get this – Oklahoma. Huh.
The line-up basically plays like a who’s who of who shoulda been playing Rocklahoma this year: Scorpions, Twisted Sister, Ratt, Warrant, Dokken, Great White, Enuff Z’Nuff, Bullet Boys, Faster Pussycat, and the Tracii Guns/Jizzy Pearl version of L.A. Guns are all the bill. More bands will be announced soon; in my imagination that will include whatever is passing for Skid Row these days, Vince Neil, Adler’s Appetite, Beautiful Creatures and/or Bang Tango, and the other version of L.A. Guns. But who knows.
It is worth noting that the fest will take place at the Zoo Amphitheatre, which a) has a smaller capacity than the giant open fields of Rocklahoma and b) isn’t just a cool name from some venue, but, rather, is called the “Zoo Amphitheatre” because it’s actually at the fucking zoo. So unless it’s always been Chip Z’Nuff’s dream to play for a crowd of zebras, this isn’t going to be quite the event that Rocklahoma was for these bands.
Still, you should visit the Rock N America website, even if you’re not really interested in attending the show, because, well, it’s like the shittiest website of 1994 and is consequently pretty hilarious.
-AR
[via Bring Back Glam]
That’s right, folks, new autobiographies are headed to your nearest bookstore and online retailers from former Guns ‘n Roses drummer/VH1 house boy, Steven Adler and Megadeth mastermind/Metallica thorn, Dave Mustaine.
Adler, renowned not only for being the original drummer for Guns N’ Roses, but also for getting shit-canned by the band for being too much of a druggie, releases his allegedly self-penned account on June 22, entitled My Appetite for Destruction: Sex, and Drugs, and Guns N’ Roses.
I’m looking forward to Adler’s tale of his fall from rock ‘n roll grace, as I considered his druggen misadventures to be the lone highlight from Andy McCoy’s otherwise dreadful Hanoi Rocks tell-all, Sheriff McCoy.
Meanwhile, Dave Mustaine’s autobiography (co-written by Joe Layden of the New York Times), titled, no surprise, Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Memoir, hits the bookshelves on April 13. Dave had originally planned on calling the book, Hello Me… Meet the Real Me, the classic opening line from his 1992 track, “Sweating Bullets.” Word has it that the book may also be titled Wake Up Dead.
I really wanted to like this book. I really did.
As an old school Hanoi Rocks fan, I assumed this would be an eye-opening tell-all by the man behind the band that spawned sleaze rock which was later ripped off by Guns N’ Roses and lesser lights such as L.A. Guns and Faster Pussycat. Instead, it’s just a big ol’ mess of discombobulated anecdotes that do not enlighten the uninitiated, enthrall those already on board the Hanoi train, nor excite undiscerning lovers of rock ‘n roll.
In the last few weeks, several of you have emailed the same basic question:
“How is Guns N’ Roses still around if Axl is the only one left?”
While I can’t tell you definitively, here’s how it might have happened.
My never-ending pursuit of rock star book excellence continues. This week it’s Saul Hudson of Guns N’ Roses fame with his 2007 autobiography Slash, co-authored by Anthony Bozza, and it is the epitome of a killer rock star autobiography.
I had serious doubts about whether or not I was going to like this book. First off, I have no love for Guns N’ Roses beyond Appetite for Destruction. I was one of the band’s biggest fans behind the strength of their Live ?!*@ Like a Suicide EP and AFD. Once Lies came out though, I was done. Couldn’t stand it (the non-Suicide tracks, that is) or them. So that was strike one.
Strike two came in the form of co-author Anthony Bozza, who also performed the same chores on Tommy Lee’s horrendous autobiography Tommyland (read my review here). What a terrible book that was; I lay much of the blame on Bozza’s shoulders.
Obviously, I was skeptical about reading Slash.
I’m happy to report that my skepticism was unfounded. Slash kicks ass!
Last week, Elise at Reign in Blonde wrote a piece entitled “TOP 5 SONGS I WOULD PROBABLY USE AS MY STRIPPER SONG.”
Improbably enough, this led to a stoned think-session where I came up with a list of the top five songs I would probably use as my own stripper song. ‘Cause I know you all wanna see me strip so badly.
Okay, here we go:
After weeks of wondering why the fuck Axl Rose was doing nothing to promote Chinese Democracy (which is selling poorly, to put it mildly), early this morning “The Howard Hughes of Rock” added another bizarre chapter to his ongoing saga by answering fans’ questions on the message boards for popular GN’R fan sites Here Today… Gone to Hell! and MyGNR.com (Under the username “Dexter,” because he’s apparently a fan of the television show and has named his cat after the titular serial killer. Seriously.).
Aside from what his reputation may have led us to believe, this was not a Dubya-like pre-planned press conference, and Rose didn’t appear offended by a variety of questions actually worth asking (e.g., Why did the album take so long?, Why did the old band break-up?, etc.). That being said, his answers were typically enigmatic, strange, and, in some cases, unsatisfactory, and anyone who thinks this “promotion” will help sales of the album is kidding themselves – casual fans may hear about this unexpected happening, but it can’t possibly have the same effect as, say, a Rolling Stone cover.
That being said, I don’t think it was Rose’s intention to boost sales* so much as it was simply to communicate, in whatever capacity, with the hardcore fans that continue to hold a candle for him. And that’s actually commendable. You could argue that communicating with fans is what Rose is supposed to do and that patting him on the back for this “interview” of sorts is like rewarding someone for not breaking the law; but the GN’R faithful can give Trekkies a run for their money in the “inappropriately passionate” department, and why rain on their parade? They’ve put up with a lot of shit over the years and deserve this little ray of sunshine.
After the jump, read some of the more interesting Q&As from Rose and his fans, including info on an upcoming video, the (seemingly) already planned re-release of Chinese Democracy, the next GN’R album, and more.
