In the last few years, something seemed to happen and I barely noticed. Suddenly, I’m no longer the young kid at the show. I’m one of the guys hiding out by the bar. I’m not crowd surfing, not covered in sweat with my shirt off, and I’m certainly not moshing. I’m also not randomly yelling “Slayer!”, but that seems to span all demographics. I became… (gulp)… an adult. I don’t know what the range is in the ages of the followers of MetalSucks, but I’ll assume that it’s a mix of younger and older metal fans. I am 29 years old, but I still feel relatively young and energetic considering my opening salvo. I’m the youngest member of my band, and younger than a good majority of my friends in bands and the industry.

With that said, I think there comes a time for all metal heads, and probably all adults for that matter, when you look at what is popular amongst the true youth culture (16-24), and you feel as if not only do you not relate to it, but it feels alien, as if it’s creation was not meant for your consumption (which it wasn’t) – and it also seems inferior to music that you grew up with. I’m only 29, and I’m already having “back in my day” moments. It kind of scared me, and I began to wonder if I was being obtuse and a little too set in my ways, or if my analysis was accurate.

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I am going to assume that a decent portion of the followers of this site are themselves musicians with bands of their own. That is generally how it goes with metal. There are seamless lines blurred between the “fans” and the “bands” because, like myself, many metal patrons represent both categories. Without this large sector of musician fans, technically proficient bands that cater directly to this base (like Dream Theater, Meshuggah, and Necrophagiast) would be much less successful. So to those musicians, I would like to use this blog to shine a light on one of the harsh truths in all music and entertainment that many musicians choose to ignore -

Image matters a lot in this industry. In fact, it’s probably just as important as the music.
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Elise over at Reign in Blonde found this fan-filmed footage of Weezer doing what is actually, as she notes, a pretty decent cover of Sabbath’s “War Pigs.” Which isn’t entirely shocking, given that Weezer mastermind Rivers Cuomo is a known metalhead; of course, he’s also a self-professed Limp Bizkit fan, so I guess we should just thank our lucky stars he’s not running around covering “Eat You Alive” or whatever.

Actually, scratch that. Weezer covering Limp Bizkit might be hilarious, in that ironic emo hipster douchebag kind of way. Especially if they incorporated the rapping.

-AR

It’s a well known fact that Weezer mastermind River Cuomo is a metalhead (see ridiculous photo above). But I’ve read numerous interviews with the guy over the years where he promised (or threatened, depending on your point of view) to a metal album – even going so far as to claim that Maladroit was Weezer’s metal album – and the thing never seems to materialize.

Well, as it turns out, Weezer might have already made their contribution to metal, and I just wasn’t paying very close attention. SMN News pointed us to this interview with Weezer mastermind River Cuomo, in which he admits to biting off Metallica:

“‘The Sweater Song’ was the first Weezer song I ever wrote, back in 1991… I was trying to write a Velvet Underground-type song because I was super into them, and I came up with that guitar riff… It wasn’t until years after I wrote it that I realized it’s almost a complete rip-off of ‘Sanitarium’ by Metallica. It just perfectly encapsulates Weezer to me — you’re trying to be cool like Velvet Underground but your metal roots just pump through unconsciously.”

Oddly enough, I’d never really noticed the similarities between the two songs in the past. Hm.

Check out both songs after the jump and decide for yourself whether or not Cuomo really owes Metallica a royalty check or ten.

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I saw Cold open for Marilyn Manson once. Even though it was a good month after Halloween (I recall only because it was Thanksgiving weekend), guitarist Terry Balsucko wore a Michael Meyers mask the whole set and stood almost perfectly still, hunched over his guitar as though he should be in the belfry at Notre Dame; vocalist Scooter Ward stood at the lip of the stage, smoking a cigarette and remaining otherwise completely stationary; and drummer Sam McCandless’ hair was dyed to look like a cheetah’s fur.

Needless to say, it was the most painful forty minutes of my life.

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From the Deciblog archives, dredged up via vintage Metal Sludge: Rivers Cuomo — or, um, should I say “Peter Kitts,” above right — used to be in a shred-tastic, poofy-haired spandex band called Avant Garde. Apparently Cuomo has been a good sport about his past, but it’s still too hilarious not to poke fun at. The band made a run at it from 1987 to 1990, but thanks to the Interwebs we can experience their demos even today courtesy of a bunch of over-zealous completist Weezer fans.

And you know what? Shit ain’t bad. Cuomo’s Iron Maiden fetish is first and foremost, and with the galloping beats, twin guitar harmonies, and Bruce Dickinson Grim Reaper’s Steve Grimmett styled vocals the whole thing is a smorgasbord of ’80s metal influences. There’s also elements of Slayer in Cuomo’s playing with chromatic runs and whammy dive-bombs, and even some catchy Ratt guitar licks… hell, they tried it all. We’re not quite sure when and why Cuomo ditched the hairspray and spandex for thick-rimmed glasses and corduroys, but we’re guessing it had something to do with a band whose name rhymes with Birvana.

Check out the Avant Garde demos on the fan-created MySpace page.

-VN