IN WHICH WE WERE 25% OWNED BY EPITAPH RECORDS
Yesterday Sergeant D. made a joke about MetalSucks being 25% owned by Epitaph Records. I don’t know why we always foolishly assume that people will understand jokes like that, but they often don’t. And so we saw some comments where people were confused, and we got some e-mails from readers, and even a few from industry types who thought we had sold part of MetalSucks. So it may or may not please you to know that MetalSucks is still 100% owned by Vince and myself. And in the future, if you see something on here that seems kinda weird and ridiculous — e.g., that we’re not partially owned by a record label, or Gary Suarez taking all the credit for a band’s success, or whatever — please just take a moment to ask yourself, “Hey, could these dudes be kidding around?” ‘Cause, y’know. We’re very rarely serious. Except about Valtrex. We’re deadly serious about that.
Speaking of herpes, we’re shutting down early today to go enjoy the long Labor Day weekend. We’ll be closed Monday, but we’ll resume our usual suckiness on Tuesday. We have a whole heap of more premieres, cool contests, and interviews, and all manners of sarcastic assholism, so don’t drink so much this weekend that you forget about us, okay? And in the meantime, here’s a run-down of some fun we had this week:
- We debuted a new song by Daath, and a new song by Black Anvil, and a new video by Insidious Disease.
- Cooking Contaminated is back, y’all! Now with 100% more Rosetta.
- We spoke to Slayer’s Dave Lombardo, Saviours’ Scott Batiste, and everyone in Eyes Set to Kill.
- We checked out new releases by Stargazer, and Turbid North and Otargos.
- They say there are no atheists in the foxholes, but there is Nergal.
- Speaking of religion, this nice lady reverend thinks churchgoers could learn from metal.
- We pondered the meaning of Iron Maiden breaking their sales record.
- Dave Mustaine announced a Big Four U.S. tour from the stage.
- Even though, in the words of Anso, metalheads are “supposed to intimidate and discomfit the squares,” we think the death metal cat burglar went a little too far.
- We saw Kvelertak’s kvelertaks.
Now…TO THE BAR!