Dave Mustaine Believes in Chemtrails

  • Axl Rosenberg

Dave Mustaine Believes in Chemtrails

First of all, I’d like to congratulate Dave Mustaine on becoming only the second musician in history, after Glenn Danzig, to be so consistently hilarious as to warrant his own category here on MetalSucks. You’ve worked hard for this honor, Davey, and you’ve earned it!

Second of all…

So y’know when you see a plane flying overhead, how sometimes there are these streaks of what look like clouds coming out from behind it? Those are called “contrails,” and they’re made of water, which is to say, they’re perfectly safe. But there are people in the world who actually believe that some contrails are “chemtrails” — contrails full of nasty chemicals and what have you, deliberately deployed by evil secret government agencies in or do whatever evil secret government agencies do. And those people are idiots, because there’s no scientific evidence to suggest that chemtrails are a really real thing.

And so, of course, Dave Mustaine believes in chemtrails.

Actually, only a fool would posit that this theory is unarguable. Because, like I said, there’s no scientific evidence to support it. So it seems very arguable. Maybe Dave just doesn’t know what “unarguable” means or something? Here, I’ll put it in a way he’s sure to understand: it’s arguable that Megadeth wrote better music than Metallica, but it’s unarguable that Metallica sold more records than Megadeth. Get it now, Davey?

Thanks: Dan

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