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Ministry’s Al Jourgensen Discusses Sucking Dick, Sticking Vegetables Up His Ass

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flying dutchmanWell, whatever else you wanna say about Ministry’s Al Jourgensen, you can’t accuse him of lacking interesting stories.

Jourgensen is currently doing the rounds to promote his new book, Ministry: The Lost Gospels According to Al Jourgensen (read our own interview with him here), and during a chat with Record Collector, he, uh… well, actually, I’ll let the quotes speak for themselves:

Record Collector: There’s a cool story about you forcing Metallica to vacate your dressing room by sticking all the vegetables on the rider up your arse and then running backwards at them.

Al Jourgensen: That actually has a name: the Flying Dutchman. I attacked them with vegetables sticking out of my ass. Their guitarist, Kirk Hammett, is good. The rest of them were really afraid of me. That singer never wants to see me again. Kirk was the only one who got the humor in Ministry, so I worked with him for a while.

So Kirk Hammett is “good” not because he’s a nice dude or a good guitar player, but rather, because he isn’t put off by anus-soaked vegetables. I knew there was a reason ‘Tallica have kept him around all these years.

The interview continues:

Record Collector: It was courageous of you to write about your one gay experience, when you gave a buddy a blowjob.

Al Jourgensen: Wait, I gave a what?

Record Collector: You gave a blowjob to one of the guys in your early band, special affect. It’s on page 48.

Al Jourgensen: Oh yeah, I’ve sucked dick before, Jesus Christ. If you haven’t, you’re really missing out. Just give a guy a blowjob and he’s happy.

Record Collector: I liked the way you wrote “Is this still controversial in this day and age?”

Al Jourgensen: Well, people are still freaked out about this. Seriously, I mean, you’re asking me about it. OK, yeah, I gave blowjobs. So what? I was actually pretty good.

That’s such a weird coincidence, ’cause my family credo is actually Ut Sugatis, Et Pene Esse Beati Sunt Hominis, which is Latin for “Just give a guy a blowjob and he’s happy.” You’d think it’s just common sense, y’know?

[via Metal Injection]

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