Slipknot Mask Mania Reaches New Levels of Dumbf*ckery

  • Axl Rosenberg

The DeviliniI think it’s safe to say that Team Slipknot is aware of how important the band’s masks are to their fans.

The PRP reports that the band will be “showcasing” each mask throughout the course of the week via thedevilini.com. (I know that URL is supposed to be read as “The-Devil-in-I-dot-com,” but I keep reading it as “The-Devilini-dot-com” and picturing some fat Italian dude.) And by “showcasing,” I mean each of the eight new masks (no, not nine) gets a shitty little black and white image with a camera icon beneath it; if you click that icon, your computer camera will turn on and produce a small image of you wearing the mask. Also, the mask will be digitally “glued” to your face — if you move around within the frame, it will move with you.

Okay. So, that should be amusing for fans with single-digit IQs who want to know what they’d look like in a Slipknot mask, but don’t have access to Photoshop or a costume vendor. I don’t know why anyone else is supposed to care.

Obviously, the real point of this ridiculous thing is to keep the media writing about the new Slipknot album so everyone will buy it when it comes out. Which is why I’m not including the name or release date of the album in this article. If you want that information, you’ll just have to use the search function and get it from another one of the ten-trillion Slipknot articles we’ve written this month! HA! That’ll teach ’em but good. And they say I don’t know how to stick it to The Man.


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