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Varg Vikernes Says He Turned Down $425,000 for Two Live Burzum Shows

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It’s not easy being a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, white nationalist conspiracy theorist: people will throw tons of money at you to trot your one-man black metal outfit that hasn’t been relevant for 20 years out on the road! This latest bit of news from Varg Vikernes has got me seriously questioning my decision to become an SJW, commie, libtard metal blogger.

Varg has always been vocally outspoken about his distaste for performing live, but that hasn’t stopped festivals from crawling to the gate of his French countryside estate with bags of cash in hand. According to Varg himself in a recent video posted on his YouTube channel (let’s be a bit skeptical here given some of the other stuff that comes out of this man’s mouth), he was offered a total of £300,000 (roughly $425,000) to play two shows in London “some years ago.” He claims he turned down the gigs because he doesn’t like playing live (fair enough) and doesn’t care about money (I call bullshit), but then goes on to take down metalheads, the entire population of London and all musicians who enjoy performing live all in one feel swoop.

Here’s the transcription of the video via Ultimate Guitar:

“Quite often I get the question, ‘Why don’t you play live Burzum?’ And why don’t I? *points his finger at the camera* Let’s find out…

“Honestly, I don’t even know why you bother asking because I’ve said it many times before – –I don’t play live. I don’t like to play live. And if I don’t like to do it, why should I?

“Some say money. Okay. Well, I can tell you something. I’ve been offered, I think it was £300,000 [around $425,000] to play live two concerts in London some years ago. And I said ‘No. No thanks.’

“I would rather stay home here and change oil on my car, or collect some rotten wood from the forest, spread on my ruined former agricultural land. I’d rather spend time with my family, with my kids. I would rather spend time here in the car talking to those who subscribe to [my YouTube channel] Thulean Perspective.

“I don’t give a shit about money. I never do anything to make money. I do make money, but that’s because I do something. Big difference. I never do anything to make money, but I make money because I do something.

“To me, playing live is not something attractive. It would have been a sacrifice – a sacrifice too large for me to make. Because I don’t like it. I don’t want to. I don’t want to spend time away from my home and family to rehearse with some metalheads. I don’t wanna go to London, that’s the last place in Europe I would want to be. London…

“And with that said, I think playing live is embarrassing, really. You have some narcissistic, egotistical, self-centered asshole on the stage who runs about and screams ‘Me, me, me, me, me! Look at me!’

“I don’t like that type of attention, really. I barely cope with the type of attention I get from my YouTube channel. And my YouTube channel is 100% controlled by me. I decide what to put out, I decide how to put it out, I decide when to put it out. I decide if I want to put it out. I even decide if I want to take it down after I have put it out. It’s all freedom for me.

“I can make music on my computer and take my time to get it done the way I want it to be, and that’s it.

“I guess there’s a lot I could say about this and I think all of it would make me look like a complete asshole, and that’s okay. But I couldn’t be bothered really to explain it all. I don’t like live concerts. I really, really wouldn’t like to play live myself. And I don’t see the point in it, it’s completely meaningless to me. And I have so much to do that is better than that in my life.

“I already spent 15 or so years in prison, I’m not gonna go out there and waste more of my time on such things, really. To be honest, I would probably rather spend like a month in prison than spend a month rehearsing with some musicians, metalheads. I pick prison over that, really. And I say that knowing well what prison is like, so don’t get me wrong here. Prison sucks big time.

“I told you I would sound like an asshole if I explained things. Kind of proved my point, didn’t I?

“Music, to me, is something private. Something you can, and should, enjoy on your own. Just you and the music. And I’m not just talking about my music, I’m talking about music in general.

“Happiness is to be satisfied with little. Wanting more and more and more is a completely meaningless downward going spiral into decadence, corruption, decay, and unhappiness.”

All hail Varg, master of happiness, a man who is so well-adjusted he has an extreme level of tolerance for all human beings! Don’t worry, though, this big, strong man has important things to do and will be busy protecting his family:

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