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W.A.S.P. To Bravely Allow Armored Saint to Blow Them off the Stage Every Night on U.S. Anniversary Tour

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W.A.S.P. have announced U.S. dates for their fortieth anniversary tour. Just as a friendly reminder, Blackie Lawless is the only original member of the band left.

In what I can only assume is a cruel joke perpetrated by a vengeful booking agent, support will come from Armored Saint, who I can 127,000,000% guarantee you will be 241,000,000,000% better than W.A.S.P. each and every night. I mean. Look at John Bush. Look at Blackie Lawless. Which one of those dudes do you think is gonna put on the superior show? You might as well ask Tommy Wiseau to perform a dramatic monologue directly after Meryl Streep has done the same.

Keep in mind that W.A.S.P. won’t play “Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)” anymore because Blackie found God. So actually, forget the Streep/Wiseau thing — this is like breaking George Foreman’s arm before pushing him into the ring with Tyson Fury.

Michael Schenker will also be on some of the dates. I’m guessing he’ll sound better than W.A.S.P., too.

Says Blackie Lawless in a statement:

“Pee cha ka wunchy culpa tong me too chonky troi. Solo fol too ma kay chalia.”

The itinerary is below. I don’t know when tickets go on sale because W.A.S.P.’s press release didn’t bother to include that information.

29 Oct – Anaheim, CA – The Grove
30 Oct- Tempe, AZ – Marquee Theater
31 Oct – Albuquerque, NM – Sunshine Theater
02 Nov – Houston, TX – White Oak Music Hall*
03 Nov – Corpus Christi, TX – Concrete Street Pavillion*
04 Nov – San Antonio, TX – Eaton Arena*
05 Nov – Dallas, TX – Bomb Factory*
06 Nov – Tulsa, OK – Tulsa Theater*
09 Nov – Milwaukee, WI – Pabst Theater
10 Nov – Ashwaubenon, WI – EPIC Event Center
11 Nov – Detroit, MI – Harpo’s
12 Nov – Cleveland, OH – Agora Theater
13 Nov – Pittsburgh, PA – Palace Theater
16 Nov – Boston, MA – Big Night Live
17 Nov – Montclair, NJ – Wellmont Theater
18 Nov – Huntington, NY – Paramount Theater
19 Nov – Jim Thorpe, PA – Penn’s Peak
20 Nov – Glenside, PA – Keswick Theater
23 Nov – Nashville, TN – Ryman Auditorium
25 Nov – Atlanta, GA – Buckhead Theater
26 Nov – Orlando, FL – Plaza Live
29 Nov – Leesburg, VA – Tally Ho Theater
30 Nov – Columbus, OH – The King Of Clubs
02 Dec – St Charles, IL – Arcada Theater
03 Dec – St Charles, IL – Arcada Theater
05 Dec – Denver, CO – Oriental Theater
07 Dec – Reno, NV – Grand Sierra Theater
09 Dec – San Francisco, CA – The Regency
*with Michael Schenker

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