So Uh… You Might Want to Wear a Cup If Attending a Callous Daoboys Show…
Everyone’s got their favorite breakdown callout. “Disrespect your surroundings.” “What the fuck is up, Denny’s?!” There are countless ways that metalcore vocalists have tried over the years to hype up the crowd before a ridiculously heavy part came crashing over to crush people’s faces. Yet I think we may have found the most impressive, yet distressing breakdown callout for anyone with a set of male genitals.
During their Furnace Fest set this past weekend, madcap mathcore marauders The Callous Daoboys were closing out their set with the track “A Brief Article Regarding Time Loops” from last year’s Celebrity Therapist when vocalist Carson Pace dropped the following bombshell on the revelers in the pit.
Not sure if you heard that right? Let me transcribe that for you:
“I want you to find somebody with a dick and give ’em the cheapest vasectomy in town. Right now!”
Honestly, that shit is equal parts wild, awesome, and hilarious. Also, props for not making that a gendered statement, since there are plenty non-males out there with dongs. Equal rights, equal sterilization procedures, I guess.
The Callous Daoboys’ upcoming EP God Smiles Upon The Callous Daoboys will be released on October 20 via MNRK Heavy / Modern Static Records, but you can preorder your copy today in a variety of formats. The band is also gearing up for a tour with Protest The Hero and Moon Tooth in October before going abroad with TesseracT and Unprocessed. You can find the full list of dates below.
The Callous Daoboys live dates
w/ Protest The Hero + Moon Tooth
10/12/23: Loving Touch – Detroit, MI
10/13/23: Pieres – Fort Wayne, IN
10/14/23: Bottom Lounge – Chicago, IL
10/15/23: Turf Club – Minneapolis, MN
10/17/23: Park Theatre – Winnipeg, MB
10/19/23: Starlite – Edmonton, AB
10/20/23: Palace Theatre – Calgary, AB
10/22/23: The Rickshaw – Vancouver, BC
10/23/23: El Corazon – Seattle, WA
10/25/23: Goldfield – Sacramento, CA
10/26/23: 1720 – Los Angeles, CA
10/27/23: Music Box – San Diego, CA
10/28/23: Crescent Ballroom – Phoenix, AZ
10/31/23: Bluebird Theater – Denver, CO
11/2/23: Southside Music Hall – Dallas, TX
11/3/23: Come And Take It Live – Austin, TX
11/4/23: Paper Tiger – San Antonio, TX
11/5/23: Rise Rooftop – Houston, TX
11/7/23: The Abbey – Orlando, FL
11/8/23: The Orpheum – Tampa, FL
11/9/23: Masquerade (Hell) – Atlanta, GA
11/10/23: Riffhouse – Chesapeake, VA*
11/11/23: Ottobar – Baltimore, MD
11/12/23: Underground Arts – Philadelphia, PA
11/14/23: Gramercy Theatre – New York, NY
11/15/23: Middle East Downstairs – Boston, MA
11/16/23: Bar Le Ritz – Montreal, QC*
11/17/23: History – Toronto, ON
11/18/23: Montage Music Hall – Rochester, NY*
11/19/23: Preserving Underground – New Kensington, PA*
w/ TesseracT + Unprocessed
18-Jan-2024 LU – Esch-sur-Alzette/Rockhal
19-Jan-2024 FR – Villeurbanne/CCO La Rayonne
20-Jan-2024 ES – Barcelona/Sala Apolo
21-Jan-2024 ES – Madrid/La Paqui
23-Jan-2024 FR – Paris/Bataclan
25-Jan-2024 FR – Strasbourg/Laiterie
26-Jan-2024 BE – Antwerpen/Trix
27-Jan-2024 DE – Stuttgart/Im Wizemann
28-Jan-2024 IT – Milan/Alcatraz
30-Jan-2024 CH – Zurich/Komplex 457
01-Feb-2024 CZ – Prague/Palac Akropolis
02-Feb-2024 DE – Munich/Backstage
03-Feb-2024 AT – Vienna/SIMM City
04-Feb-2024 HU – Budapest/Barba Negra Red Stage
06-Feb-2024 DE – Berlin/Columbia Theater
07-Feb-2024 PL – Warsaw/Progresja
09-Feb-2024 FI – Tampere/Tavara-asema
10-Feb-2024 FI – Helsinki/Tavastia
12-Feb-2024 SE – Stockholm/Klubben Fryshuset
13-Feb-2024 NO – Oslo/Vulkan Arena
15-Feb-2024 DK – Copenhagen/Amager Bio
16-Feb-2024 DE – Hamburg/Gruenspan
17-Feb-2024 DE – Cologne/Carlswerk Victoria
18-Feb-2024 NL – Utrecht/Tivoli Vredenburg Ronda
20-Feb-2024 UK – Nottingham/Rock City
21-Feb-2024 UK – Wolverhampton/KK’s Steel Mill
22-Feb-2024 UK – Bristol/O2 Academy
23-Feb-2024 UK – London/O2 Forum Kentish Town
24-Feb-2024 UK – Manchester/O2 Ritz
25-Feb-2024 UK – Glasgow/SWG 2 Studio Warehouse
27-Feb-2024 IR – Dublin/Academy
- = The Callous Daoboys headline show
