A couple of years ago, Mike Patton provided the brilliant score for Crank 2: High Voltage, a film which, as you all know, went on to win 57 Oscars and break every box office record there is. Now he’s announced a new gig as a composer, for the film The Place Beyond the Pines, which will reunite Blue Valentine‘s writer/director, Derek Cianfrance, with its star, Ryan Gosling. IMDB describes the film as being about “A motorcycle stunt rider [who] considers committing a crime in order to provide for his wife and child, an act that puts him on a collision course with a cop-turned-politician.”

I think this is worth getting really excited about, for the following reasons:

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When I was fifteen years old, I had to sneak out of my parents’ house on a Friday night to go see GWAR and the Misfits play a Halloween show. Then I had to conceal my clothing from my parents, seeing as it was, y’know, soaked in blood, urine, and semen.

Here we are all these years later, pretty much right at the anniversary of that show, and GWAR are on a popular, mainstream late-night talk show. And yet, somehow, they seem no less rebellious than they ever were.

Which is all my way of saying, “GWAR rules.” And they do. They rule. Hard.

ANYWAY, here are some things we did this week:

• Speaking of GWAR, Dave “Oderus Urungus” Brockie himself provided us with more insights into the NFL. Meanwhile, several members of the Relapse Records family gave us the skinny on the new NHL season, and The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley pondered the pros and cons of new technology in music.
• We debuted Jucifer’s new video, for the song “Hiroshima.”
• We got exclusive specs on Contain Us, the new box set from The Devin Townsend Project.
• We spoke to Steel Panther and Niilo Sevänen from Insomnium.
• We checked out the latest release from Carnifex.
• We continued the Countdown to the Metal Suckfest and defended Danzig.
• We counted down the eleven cardinal rules of attending a concert.
• We wondered if nu-dethcore is the next big thing.
• We cried because even ex-members of Metallica make bad music now.
• We argued about the best debut albums of the past twenty-five years.

And that’s it! Have a delightful weekend, gang. We’ll see ya Monday.

-AR

Man oh man, do we have an awesomely weird one for you today. To our delight, Jucifer asked us to premiere their new video, for the song “Hiroshima,” and we can pretty guarantee you that you haven’t seen a metal video like this before. It might be fun (or horrifying, we’re not really sure) to drop some acid before watching this clip. But if you don’t have acid, well, no worries — the images in this video will more than convey the feeling that you are tripping balls. Seriously, this is a strange, strange video, and we mean that as a very high (!) compliment.

Check out the David Hall-directed clip below! “Hiroshima” appears on Jucifer’s latest, Throned in Blood, which is out now on Nomadic Fortress/Relapse. The duo has a new album and a European tour planned, both slated for April.  In the meantime, they’ll celebrate their nineteenth year as a band and twelfth year of nonstop touring with dates across the midwest and east coast. You can get all their upcoming tour dates here. The band’s early four track EP Nadir has recently been mastered for reissue by Scott Hull, and will see its first digital release via Grindcore Karaoke soon.

But wait! There’s more! Director David Hall — who also made the Maryland Deathfest movies, as well as videos for Today is the Day, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Sigh, Fuck the Facts, Hail of Bullets,and Woods of Ypres — is getting out of the of the music video business, and into… the VHS business??? Read more after the jump.

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As you probably know by now, Jucifer live on the road — literally! A truly mobile unit, the savage sludge metal duo are North American nomads who rest their head nightly in the same RV that gets them from show to show. So I was surprised to learn that Jucifer were crossing the pond for a headlining tour of Europe and Russia, which, unless they plan on hopping a ferry, implies that they’d be leaving their trusty vehicle behind. That’s probably as close to a vacation as Jucifer ever get!

The full list of dates are below, and most are supported by Italian metallers The Orange Man Theory, whose latest record was produced by Today Is The Day figurehead Steve Austin. There are a few festivals in the mix as well, including Wroclaw, Poland’s Asymmetry Fest (with Electric Wizard and the reunited Godflesh) and the Belgian Durbuy Rock Festival (with Korpiklaani and Triptykon). If you’re lucky enough to live close to any of these cities, here’s a super-duper rare opportunity to catch one of the noisiest bands around. Buy some merch from them as well, so they can buy souvenirs and finance a forthcoming re-release of the 1994 cassette-only Nadir EP, re-mastered by Scott Hull.

Now how are they gonna get all those amps overseas? Hmmm…

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Earlier today I was listening to Sunn O)) on Youtube because I was trying to drown out some people around me who were being loud, and I came across this embarrassing video where some dork talks about how he saw them the other day. Not sure who he is or why he made this video, but he’s probably one of those guys with an azn fetish who lives in Brooklyn or Portland and has an MLS degree (but works as a waiter at some vegan bakery/cafe). In this video, he gushes about Sunn O)) for over ten minutes without taking a break — he got so worked up that I expected him to cum at any second. Cliffs:

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF GOD FORBID, AT THE GATES, DISFEAR, MACHINE HEAD, BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME, THE OCEAN, JUCIFER, THE BINARY CODE, HULL, DYSRHYTHMIA, INDIAN, AND DARKEST ERA

For 2010, we decided to do something special as part of our regular end-of-year festivities here at MetalSucks — namely, ask musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year were. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of ten to eleven musicians at a time twice a day for the rest of the week.

After the jump, check out the sixth group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

(And please note that these are musicians and that they, um, have a lot on their minds. So some of ‘em named albums that actually came out last year. Please don’t freak out.)

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It seems like the number of “Why did you ban me from commenting?!?” e-mails from readers has increased as of late, and the gist of those e-mails is often “Whassa matter, can’t take it when someone tells you you suck?” or whatever. And we’ve never banned anyone for disagreeing with us. We don’t give a shit if you disagree with us. We don’t agree with one another half the time — that’s part of the fun of MetalSucks.

Here’s what really happens: you use a word which is on our “no-no” list, and it gets stuck in our spam filter. Some of these words we actively do not allow on MetalSucks (e.g., slurs against minorities), and some of them just get stuck because so many actual spammers use them (e.g., “rape”). We try to be diligent about checking the spam filters and making sure none of you are getting caught in there, but sometimes we miss a few. And sometimes we ultimately don’t allow the comment onto the site (e.g., “I hate this album, this band is fucking gay” will never survive). But even then, we don’t BAN people from commenting. I think I can count on one hand the number of people we’ve banned in four years, and most of them were spammers and/or former Megadeth guitarists. So if your comment isn’t going through, consider first if you used a word we don’t allow, and if you didn’t, just shoot us a POLITE e-mail and we’ll investigage the problem ASAP. M’kay?

And on that note, here’s what we did this week:

• Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum gave us our latest Legacy Tour diary, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable worked out his black metal daddy issues, and The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks offered to write a song for any sports team that’s not from New York.
• We spoke to After the Burial’s Trent Hafdahl and American Hardcore author Steven Blush.
• We got the skinny from Darkest Hour’s Ryan Parrish about why DH and Veil of Maya got kicked off their own tour bus, and asked Jucifer’s Amber Valentine about Sean Yseult’s claim to being the only woman in metal during her tenure in White Zombie.
• We checked out the latest release from The Unraveling.
• Sergeant D. schooled us in uber-kvlt metalcore bands.
• We contemplated the worst metal albums of 2010 and the best metal songs of 2010.
• We mourned on the six year anniversary of Dimebag’s murder.
• We celebrated Ozzy Osbourne’s terrific taste in modern metal (he put Korn above Firewind).
• We had mixed feelings about the retirement of Judas Priest.
• We got excited that At the Gates are playing more shows in 2011.

Alrighty then. Next week is our last week of regular posting before we shut down for the holidays. You know what that means – YEAR END LISTS! Get ready to argue like your entire sense of self-worth depended on everyone agreeing with you all the time with no exceptions ever.

-AR

Sean Yseult, bassist for the defunct White Zombie, has just released a memoir through well respected independent publisher Soft Skull Press. Yet my mild interest in this title hit a pretty severe low after reading some shoddy and downright untruthful marketing copy. I’ve bolded the offending passage below, which inflates her role in metal to comic proportions and completely discounts reality.

I’m in the Band charts White Zombie’s rise from the gritty music scene of New York’s Lower East Side in the eighties to arena headliners during the nineties alternative-explosion that followed in Nirvana’s wake, while sharing the unlikely story of a female musician who won the respect and adoration of male metal musicians and fans. From 1985 to 1996, Sean Yseult was the sole woman not only in White Zombie, but in the entire metal scene: bands, roadies, managers, you name it—with the exception of girlfriends and groupies, Yseult was in a world by herself.

Of course, the preposterous statement emphasized above is easily disproved within seconds, as any way you slice it it’s patently false. Not only were there female metal musicians before, during, and after Yseult’s tenure in White Zombie, but there were other female bassists in metal too, including Jo Bench (Bolt Thrower) and Lori Black (Melvins). I’m not even going to comment further on it; rather, I’ll let one of Yseult’s contemporaries reminder her that she wasn’t alone. Jucifer frontwoman Amber Valentine, take it away!

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If Horatio Alger were alive today, he’d be tempted to write about Slayer. Defying logic, popular fads and the moral majority, the band is an American thrash-to-riches story, having not just survived, but thrived on a regimen of non-compromise. Future musicologists will no doubt struggle to explain how four guys from Huntington Park forced Reign in Blood down the world’s collective throat, then went on to sell millions of records, win two Grammys, and amass a huge, rabid fanbase. And does any other band have a holiday dedicated to them?

As the curtain closes on their third decade in the music business, Slayer’s Dave Lombardo was good enough to shoot the proverbial shit with MetalSucks when the American Carnage Tour stopped in St. Paul, MN. Read the full transcript of our chat after the jump.

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Before I read about it on Reign in Blonde today, it had somehow escaped my attention that Jucifer are touring this June. And this information is key; even if the band’s latest album, Throned in Blood, is my least favorite of their releases thus far, I’m still dying to check this band out live – I’ve blown all of my previous chances to do so.

Plus, it’s so very rare that Gary Suarez and I get to attend one of the same shows, since only occasionally do we actually agree on anything (e.g., Black Cobra are boring as fuck live.). But Jucifer will bring us together to hold hands and live with two hearts beating as one! They’re like Wyld Stallions that way.

Get a complete Jucifer tour itinerary here.

-AR

So Vince is now out of town. Again. Luckily, we really do take after our namesakes; he loves to be out there among the people, partying like he might die tomorrow, and I am a grumpy, mean-spirited recluse. So expect lots of Axl crankiness next week.

In the meantime, here are some things that happened this week:

• Genetic’s Dallas Coyle discussed the importance of positive thinking, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa pondered the various timelines on L O S T, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable listed the five raddest sets of teeth in metal, Eyal Levi from Daath and Levi/Werstler wondered if anyone cares about guitar solos, and adult film actress Bobbi Starr told us the ten metal bands she wishes would gangbang her.
• We debuted new music by The Dillinger Escape Plan, Landmine Marathon, and Jucifer.
• MetalSucks readers interviewed Dark Tranquillity’s Mikael Stanne and Vince interviewed Sevendust’s Clint Lowery.
• Sammy O’Hagar reviewed Ov Hell’s The Underworld Regime.
• Is Nergal from Behemoth going to jail for destroying a Bible?
• The singer from DragonForce is available for a White Lion reunion.
• We raged against “Rage.”

And that’s it! Next week will see the debut of our irritating new list, as well as some other fun shit. Have a nice weekend…

-AR

Back in October, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Amber Valentine, the formidable vocalist and guitarist behind the nomadic metal duo Jucifer. Towards the end of the exchange, she mentioned that the band was due to go into the studio in December to follow-up 2008′s crushing concept album L’Autrichienne. Well, Jucifer did just that, and I’m psyched to say that we’re offering the exclusive debut of a track from this new record Throned In Blood.

Exemplary of the sanguinary severity of the forthcoming album, “Contempt” thrashes and grinds with crushing guitars, desperately rasped vocals, and Edgar Livengood’s pounding drums. As usual, the style is difficult to define, with elements of sludge metal, noise rock, and even black metal all swirling in a thick pool of crimson sound. It’s pretty incredible, if you ask me. But don’t just take my word for it; TAKE A LEAK!

DOWNLOAD: JUCIFER – “CONTEMPT”

Throned In Blood will be out April 6th on Jucifer’s own new label Nomadic Fortress, and you can get the CD from their former label Relapse. Vinyl junkies will be able to snag this one on wax from Jello Biafra’s Alternative Tentacles (which gave L’autrichienne the vinyl treatment), though pre-orders are not being taken just yet.

-GS

There’s a NSFW image after the jump. You’ve been warned.

Angela Gossow in the 2006 edition of Revolver’s “Hottest Chicks in Metal”

I love masturbating as much as the next guy who spends most of his day at the computer, but there’s no getting around the fact that Revolver’s annual “Hottest Chicks in Metal” issue – and now, apparently, accompanying calendar – is completely ridiculous. It has nothing to do with music, and there’s no equivalent issue for “Hottest Dudes in Metal,” because, well, metal is mostly a sausage fest and I imagine that a “Hottest Dudes” issue wouldn’t sell very well.

Now Arch Enemy’s Angela Gossow – who has been featured in past “Hottest Chicks” issues – has spoken out against the concept… as if you needed another reason to love her. From a recent interview with KNAC:

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I barely remember the lost weekend I once spent in Baltimore. Was I bored, or just doing what I do? I dunno. I dunno.

Looks like I might be going back, though: D.R.I. have been added to the already stellar line-up of the 2010 edition of Maryland Deathfest. This is just the latest in a long line of good reasons to attend, not least of which is that it is, at least as far as I’m aware, currently the only scheduled U.S. appearance of Australia’s Portal, whose new album Swarth is currently frightening metalheads across the world. Throw in Converge, Magrudergrind, Entombed, Obituary, Watain, Melechesh, Jucifer, Gridlink, Gorod, 16, and a plethora of other awesome bands, and I think I could have a weekend in Baltimore even more lost than my last.

Get Maryland Deathfest’s complete line-up-to-date after the jump.

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Tomorrow is Halloween. This is great news, because it means that come Sunday (or Monday) people will finally fucking stop talking about Halloween. So sick of it already. When did I become so curmudgeonly? I’m gonna make a hell of an old man. Here’s what went down this week:

• Danzig drummer Chuck Biscuits died. Oh wait, no he didn’t.
• We debuted a new Mudvayne track and we posted live photos from Satyricon and Goatwhore/Eyehategod shows.
• We analyzed the business models of Earache and Roadrunner Records.
• The Boner Tour 2010 has been announced.
• Bison B.C.’s Dan And wrote two tour blogs for us while Horse the Band’s Lord Gold told us about women in diners.
• We spoke with Jucifer’s Amber Valentine and James Plodkin from Jodis.
• We’re giving away a buncha BTBAM shit and celebrating the release of their new album.
• We got all creative writing on your ass.

Our very own Corey Mitchell is gonna be on TV this weekend; he’ll be appearing on E!’s “20 Most Horrifying Hollywood Murders” on Saturday night at 6:00pm EST/5:00PM CST. In addition to his duties as the resident Mansion old fart, Corey writes books about true crime and is a respected authority on the matter so it should be an interesting (and br00tal) watch. Have a good weekend everyone.

Since 1993, the furious duo of Amber Valentine and Edgar Livengood have been confounding and entertaining with their eclectic musical mix that frequently and wantonly crosses the boundaries between metal and rock. Jucifer‘s unrestrained artistry has led to some pretty impressive albums, including two for Relapse Records: 2006′s If Thine Enemy Hunger and last year’s L’Autrichienne. As the band wraps up the latest round of its unending tour, I recently took the chance to pry a few answers out of the loquacious Mrs. Valentine.

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Jucifer is an awesome band we don’t show enough love; the record they put out last year, L’autrichienne, was the shit – a double album where almost no two songs sound alike! – and I never even reviewed it. For shame.

Now the band has released a new video, for “The Mountain.” The song is great; whether or not you like the video will probably depend on how you feel about close-ups with warped lenses. Just throwin’ that out there.

L’autrichienne is out now on Relapse.

-AR

We’ve haven’t posted much about Relapse Records’ resident noise rockers Jucifer since last year’s coverage of a local show gone horribly wrong. Hopefully, no such shenanigans will mar the band’s lengthy headlining tour of North America which is heavy on the Canada dates. Opinion about Jucifer is admittedly mixed among staffers here at MetalSucks, but I reside in the camp that really really digs what Livengood and Valentine do, particularly on last year’s L’Autrichienne (which didn’t make the list that you guys can’t stop complaining about).

This Wednesday, the duo will hit up New York’s Cake Shop with their U.S. touring opener Mount Vicious, a less confounding group that sounds sorta like Danzig fronting The Jesus Lizard. Full dates can be found here. At some point Jucifer plans to record a follow-up to L’Autrichienne (title TBA), expected in the Spring of 2010.

-GS

[Gary Suarez smells dryer sheets. He also writes for Brainwashed and usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

Where to begin? So many debaucherous moments — too many beers, not enough whiskeys, a shit-ton of BBQ, and a helluva lotta MUSIC….yes yes, it was another sleep-deprived week in Austin, Texas, and at the end of it all, it was the best one yet.

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Wednesday has done and drawn to a close, and an awesome day it was. Highlights included Young Widows, The Bronx, Fighting With Wire, Jucifer, El Mariachi Bronx (The Bronx as a full mariachi band), Valient Thorr, Pack of Wolves, These Arms Are Snakes, and finally meeting MS contributor Corey Mitchell in person. There’s so much to be seen today, Kip has gone missing, and I’m hungry, so I’ll make this quick:

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