It’s almost the weekend, so it’s time to get tr00ly, tr00ly evil with this shit — like, black metal tr00ly evil. And who’s more tr00 — or evil — than Mayhem?

The band is currently in the midst of a North American headlining run with Keep of Kalessin, Hate, and Abigail Williams (tour dates here). MetalSucks’ own Alyssa Lorenzon attended the tour’s recent stop at the Trocadero, and, HAIL SATAN!, she captured some truly shadowy, scary shit. See all of her awesome photos after the jump!

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Everyone remembers Bob Larson, right? He’s the evangelical radio personality that Glenn Benton used to prank phone call?

Well, that dude somehow got Mayhem bassist Necrobutcher (né Jørn Stubberud) to agree to be the victim beneficiary of an exorcism on Norwegian television, and that footage is now available for your viewing pleasure. Check it out below; it starts around the 22 minute mark. And, yes, it is highly, highly entertaining, in no small part because Larson is a humorless, self-righteous prick, and Necrobutcher is… well, he’s also pretty humorless, but the difference is that he’s, y’know, right.

In case you somehow forgot, Mayhem are headlining tonight’s Metal Suckfest pre-game at the Gramercy Theatre here in NYC; the show also features Keep of Kalessin, Hate, Abigail Williams, and Woe. Tickets are still available! Come see some awesome black metal, hang out with us, and let kick off the weekend’s festivities early. We’ll see ya there!

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

A headline like “Tori Amos Issues Challenge to Metal Bands” is hard to ignore.  So I went over to Spinner.com to read this interview with Ms Amos, and this is what she had to say:

“Well, look, sometimes you don’t know how music affects people. I embrace that because I don’t think that just because I talk about emotional stuff that it’s not mother—er stuff. I’ll stand next to the hardest f—ing heavy metal band on any stage in the world and take them down, alone, by myself. Gauntlet laid down, see who steps up. See who steps up! I’ll take them down at 48. And they know I will. Because emotion has power that the metal guys know is just you can’t touch it. Insanity can’t touch the soul. It’s going to win every f—ing time.”

Before we get too riled up, it’d be smart to remember that homegirl has a new album to promote, and will spout any number of ridiculous soundbites to sell some plastic. Also, the offending paragraph showed up at the end of the interview, and feels like an offhand remark. Metal news sites went apeshit over it, though, so here we are. I sincerely doubt that Ms. Amos really intends to stand onstage next to Iron Maiden (or Manowar!) and “blow them off the stage.” Unless she’s got about sixteen Orange amps to blast her whispery, piano-driven poem-songs through and 4/5 of Vader providing backup, she ain’t gonna have much luck.

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That’s right! Tickets for The Metal Suckfest — the two day festival with a line-up so ridiculously awesome we can’t believe we actually put this thing together — are ON SALE RIGHT NOW.

You can buy tickets to Day 1 (November 4) or Day 2 (November 5) individually for thirty bucks a pop — that’s just three dollars per band!!! — or, for your best value, buy a THREE DAY PASS! for seventy-five bucks.

“Wait, there’s a THIRD day?” you ask. That’s right! On November 3, the night before the fest officially kicks off, we’re hosting The Metal Suckfest Pre-Game, which will be headlined by legendary black metallers Mayhem and will also feature Keep of Kalessin, Hate, Abigail Williams, and Woe. Individual tickets to that show cost twenty-five dollars, but with your Metal Suckfest 3 Day Pass, you get a ten dollar discount. Pretty sweet, eh?

So GO BUY TICKETS NOW. The full line-up is after the jump, in case you forgot… do not forget that four more bands are still yet to be announced!!!

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Richmond, VA stoners ov death Cannabis Corpse are currently burning their way through the European continent, with planned raids on Russia and the UK coming up quick, and yours truly is along for the ride to hustle merch and document the madness. Full disclosure: I work with the band and their label, but I’m doing this tour diary not as a sneaky promotional trick, but because I’m in fucking Europe with a bunch of awesome death metal dudes and wanted to write about the experience. So here goes.

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Norwegian black metal is a genre whose history is fraught with controversy and full of murder and church burnings and all other manner of awfulness.  So, naturally, Norway has now given twenty of its diplomats “a black metal crash course,” according to this report:

“The objective is to show Norwegian culture in all its diversity. In the musical field, it goes from (Romantic music composer) Edvard Grieg to black metal,” its deputy head Steinar Lindberg said, adding he hoped to repeat the experience.

“In Italy, Japan or France, young people are learning Norwegian to decrypt the lyrics. Black metal is an export product and it’s important that future diplomats are interested in it,” he added.

Of course, I’m only kidding about the looming shadow of some assholes from twenty years ago being a good reason not to teach this stuff to Norwegian diplomats. Really, I guess Norway deserves a pat on the back for being so chill. So, y’know, three cheers for Norway.

On a semi-related note, my favorite part about the article where we found this story is that they opted not to use a photo of a member of Emperor or Mayhem or Enslaved, but, rather, a picture of Ronnie James Dio, who was neither Norwegian nor a black metal musician. Oh, the mainstream media. So lulzy when they try to cover metal!

-AR

Thanks to everyone who e-mailed us about this.

Mayhem are one of black metal’s most infamous and legendary bands, but it’s been a hot minute since they toured North America — in fact, I believe the last time they were here, they even had a different line-up.

In any case, they’re returning this fall to fuck your shit up, and they’re bringing Keep of Kalessin, Hate, Abigail Williams, and Woe with ‘em. Regular readers of this site know I’m not so sweet on Abby Will, but otherwise, this is a solid line-up — I’m especially excited about the inclusion of Keep of Kalessin, who I haven’t yet had the opportunity to check out live, but I hear are awesome.

Here are dates, courtesy Lambgoat:

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Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli.

In 1998, there was Lords of Chaos. In 2008, there was Until the Light Takes Us. Somewhere between that, aired amongst a bunch of shitty Victory ads on Headbangers Ball, there was this. One might logically conclude that, between this biography, documentary and $100-budget commercial, the history of black metal has been comprehensively documented.

Not so! With this much personality, talent, vision, rampant egotism and disdain for non-Aryans, the genre remains entertainingly unstable — the more you talk to its original practitioners, the more weird new anecdotes bubble up to augment a perpetually-contested whole. That — along with the need to finance multiple third-term back-alley abortions for the staff’s favorite strippers — is why we’ve concocted our second exclusive Decibel one-off, the Black Metal Hall of Fame issue.

Our staffers busted ass to bring you eight tales from black metal’s vast crypt. Three of them you’ve never seen before — touchstones from Burzum, Satyricon and Rotting Christ — and the Darkthrone feature was only previously available in our HOF anthology, Precious Metal. This monster’s not included with subscriptions and is only available online and at select indie record retailers starting around November 8.

The final roster is, as you can see above, Immortal, Burzum, Venom, Darkthrone, Emperor, Satyricon, Enslaved and Rotting Christ. I’m too lazy to copy and paste the album titles, but are there any bands you’d prefer for a prospective round two? (Bear in mind that everyone’s gotta be alive to do these things, so no dice on Bathory and Mayhem.)

-AB

Please help the staff of Decibel finance all the necessary third-term back-alley abortions for their favorite strippers by purchasing the special Black Metal Hall of Fame issue here. You can also help contribute to this tremendous cause by buying yourself a copy of the December 2010 issue of Decibel or, better still, buying yourself a full subscription.

Metal fans have been buzzing for months about Until The Light Takes Us, but official screenings have been few and far between. Consequently, 99% of the film’s core audience hasn’t seen the saga of the Norwegian black metal scene as told by filmmakers Aaron Aites and Audrey Ewell. That’s all going to change on September 28th, when Until The Light Takes Us finally gets DVD treatment. Luckily for me, my hookup Terrill, whose inventory is usually comprised of amateur porn, videocam bootlegs of current blockbusters and unreleased Tyler Perry films, somehow got his grubbies on an advance screener.

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This isn’t nearly as funny as it could have been, and it’s way, way too long — but it has its moments.

Part two after the jump.

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Ludicra’s “De-Cancellation Tour” — waged in the face of Mayhem dropping off the bill and guitarist John Cobbett’s hospitalization — may have ended, but Cobbett’s (also of Hammers of Misfortune) outrageous medical bills certainly haven’t been forgotten. Neither has Ludicra’s excellent release The Tenant. And since we know all too well how hospital stays can cost a small fortune here in America  – and since it’s the least we can do to help pay back Cobbett for giving us such great music — we’d like to draw attention to a fundraiser organized by Umlaut and Sensory Abuse.

Umlaut and Sensory Abuse are offering a limited edition Ludicra print with the proceeds going to help John Cobbett with his existing medical expenses. Sensory Abuse’s iconic live shot was taken at the final show of Ludicra’s U.S. Tour at Cafe du Nord in San Francisco on May 8th. This is a limited edition of 66 hand-numbered prints, each of which measures 19″x13″ and is printed on heavy, canvas-like paper stock. For delivery within the U.S. the print will cost $20 (shipping included). For International Orders please add an additional $5. The prints will be appropriately sent in a black mailing tube. Every little bit helps, and with only 66 copies available they’re sure to go fast; order here.

-VN

What do you think Varg is thinking about in this photo?

Reader K-Milo alerted us to the fact that Stereogum recently conducted an interview with the man of the hour, Varg Vikernes. Most of it is exactly the kind of idiotic nonsense you’d expect from this creep – he slams Wolves in the Throne Room (“I haven’t even heard about them before”) and a lot of his Norwegian peers (Enslaved, Immortal, Emperor) who are considerably more talented than he is (“These guys are fucking rats, or they play in bands with rats”) – but there is one section of note: when the topic turns to Vikernes’ political views and his fanbase:

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If the you young ‘uns don’t know Stryper, well, they were like the Underoath or Demon Hunter of their day. Which is to say, they played Christian metal. Their songs had names like “To Hell with the Devil,” and “Calling On You,” and for their 1985 album, they even covered “Battle Hymn of the Republic (Glory, Glory, Hallelujah),” which may still be the single lamest metal cover of a non-metal song ever, which is really saying something.

Now the band is working on a covers album, which will include their take on songs by the homos in Judas Priest, the blasphemous, drug addled guys in Black Sabbath, and the Jews in Kiss.

I don’t really have much else to say about this… it just made me laugh. Fingers crossed that they add a song by Slayer or Mayhem to the mix…

-AR

Back in January, Mayhem announced a tour with some ridiculously awesome support acts, including Ludicra, Krallice, and Tombs; then, in true Mayhem fashion, they cancelled the tour just a couple of weeks later. And I think pretty much everyone had the same reaction: “Ludicra, Krallice, and Tombs should just tour without Mayhem.” Because it was still an incredibly strong bill even without the black metal legends.

Well, hey, guess what? Ludicra are doing just that! They’ve announced the wittily monikered “De-Cancellation Tour 2010,” which will find Krallice doing even more dates than they were scheduled to play with Mayhem, and even has Tombs tagging along for a handful of shows. Various shows will also feature support from a diverse line-up of other kick-ass bands, including Lair of the Minotaur, Slough Feg, Ocean (not The Ocean, but still a great band), and Kowloon Walled City, so I’d say “To hell with Attila.”

Get dates after the jump. And it’s worth noting that Ludicra’s excellent new record, The Tenant, is available now on Profound Lore Records via the label’s website. Sooner or later I’ll try to write something a little more proper about that album, but for now I’ll just say “Buy it.” It has the MS seal of approval.

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I can honestly say I’ve never had a more complicated relationship with a band than I’ve had with Burzum. Despite an ongoing fascination and reluctant adoration of black metal, I managed to all-but-avoid the band until a year or two ago (when I got my hands on Filosofem and had to confess that mainman/only-man Varg Vikernes had a good thing going). My main issue was what many of Burzum/black metal-in-general’s detractors also have: Varg’s outspokenly racist, anti-Semitic, and homophobic views, and (to a bizarrely lesser extent) his part in the rash of Norwegian church burnings and the murder of Mayhem’s Euronymous in the early ’90s looms larger than the music itself. While being an outspoken proponent of separating the art from the artist, there was something just off about enjoying Burzum: thinking Dave Mustaine was a born-again nutball, Lars Ulrich was a whiny millionaire, and Gene Simmons was a major-league asshole didn’t make me like their music any less. Even non-metal incidents of racism and anti-Semitism (Public Enemy’s Professor Griff referring to Jews as “wicked” in an interview and Elvis Costello drunkenly remarking that Ray Charles was an “ignorant nigger,” for example) didn’t lessen my appreciation for their work (though perhaps that had to do with extensive apologizing on both parts). But Varg’s Aryan-centric beliefs seemed like a line I couldn’t cross, that liking his music would somehow be justifying what he believed (I know there are many that still argue that). Putting a barrier between his music and me seemed like the wise thing to do.

Of course, singling out Burzum as deplorable when enjoying brutal death metal and some strains of grindcore where lyrical implications of horrific violence toward women are so par for course that it’s a cliché is laughably hypocritical at best; I have doubts that all extreme death metallers secretly have progressive feminist views in lieu of deep-seeded issues with women that they let breathe in goregrind and the like. So while saying that Vikernes’ values have nothing to do with anything in terms of his music is incredibly short-sighted, it’s just as ignorant to write off any music he makes — even if it’s not explicitly about racial purity — because his social beliefs are the literal polar opposite of yours. Even when realizing that, it still took me a while to warm up to Burzum. But once I did, I heard what so many of the bands that he inspired — Xasthur, Nachtmystium, Wolves in the Throne Room, and Krallice, to name a (very) few — had heard: long, droning, rambling buzzsaw riffs that almost always went on too long, but often showed flickers of brilliance. By the time he reached Filosofem — Burzum’s most mature outing in its original run — he’d provided a high water mark for both him and the genre. Of course, right after recording it, he brutally murdered a guy and went to prison. After being released last year serving sixteen years of his 21-year sentence (and recording a few ambient albums), he’s returned with his first black metal album since 1996 with Belus, a record that’s at once true to his origins (near-constant tremolo picking, blastbeats, raspy vocals) and a showcase for the artistic strides he’s apparently been internalizing for the last decade. It’s at once a return home and a fresh start, perhaps a fitting metaphor for the man’s journey.

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What can I say, I like my f’s.

1. When I imported this shit into iTunes, the artist name was NOT Fuck The Facts. Either that means that these dorks stole these five songs, or they don’t want me to leak it. But you know what, I’m gonna do it anyways. Actually, I’m not. It’s only six bucks. So I’ll just link you to the pre-order form.
2. Speaking of stolen music: the same day FTF sent me this EP, the new Burzum album, Belus, leaked. Now, there is something you all should know about FTF and Burzum: Varg Vikernes, the man behind Burzum and the once upon a time session bassist for Mayhem, is IDENTICAL to FTF bassist Marc Bourgon. 

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An anonymous industry insider close to the Mayhem camp has contacted MetalSucks with the news that the Norwegian black metallers have canceled their tour with Ludicra, Krallice and Tombs. Says the MetalSucks tipster, “I can 100% guarantee that this is true.”

The tour was scheduled to start in New York City on April 7th and wrap up in Los Angeles on April 25th (dates here).

This following last year’s doomed-before-it-even started Blackenedfest Tour. That tour’s original bill featured Mayhem, Marduk, Cephalic Carnage, Cattle Decapitation and Withered. Marduk didn’t make it to the U.S. due to visa issues, and the other three bands dropped off after an all-night argument in Denver. Mayhem finished up the tour alone.

We’ll post more news as this story develops…

Black metal legends Mayhem have announced another North American tour, and while that might be good news in and of itself, I’m actually more excited about their announced support acts for this trek: Ludicra and Krallice. I’ve never seen Ludicra live but I’ve been listening to them a lot as of late, and Krallice put on a truly transcendental show. Even if Mayhem somehow ended up sucking the big one, you’d probably get your money’s worth just from these first two bands alone.

This is gonna be a solid tour. Get dates after the jump…

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Did you know that if you eat before you start slamming shots, you’ll get a little less drunk, but you’ll also have something to vomit up later? It’s true. Also, sometimes when you smoke weed, you get the munchies. These are just two great reasons why you should care about Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook by Annick “Morbid Chef” Giroux. Showcasing “a varied menu of over a hundred recipes from thirty countries,” Hellbent for Cooking features recipes by members of Accept, Anthrax, Anvil, Armored Saint, Brutal Truth, Death, Electric Wizard, Eyehategod, Gwar, Judas Priest, Kreator, Mayhem, Melechesh, Nuclear Assault, Obituary, Repulsion, Saint Vitus, Sepultura, Sigh, S.O.D., Slough Feg, Thin Lizzy, Toxic Holocaust, and about a trillion others (you can get a complete list of contributing bands here).

MetalSucks is teaming up with Bazillion Points Publishing to give away three (3) copies of Hellbent for Cooking. All you have to do to win is create a picture that somehow connects metal to food and post a link to someplace we can view said picture in the comments section below. Use Photoshop to create an image of Lemmy eating a hot dog, use MS Paint to do a portrait of Metallica as the pepperonis on a pizza, whatever you want – it just has to be both food and metal related, and it has to amuse us. Vince and I will choose the three pics that make us laugh the hardest and those pics’ creators win the book.

This contest will end at midnight EST on Monday, December 14. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only, as shipping costs are a bitch. And if you’re too lazy to participate, you can always just order a copy of the book here.

Good luck, and good eats…

-AR

Last week one of you accused us of being a “bunch of negative miserable fucks.” I can only assume that this person had never been to this site before, and was somehow unaware that it’s called “MetalSucks.”

Still, this was probably the best worst week ever, because:

• Devin Townsend took over our site for a day!
• We finally got around to making MetalSucks t-shirts and hoodies!
• Vince interviewed Between the Buried and Me’s Dan Briggs for the third time in as many years!
• There’s gonna be a new Pig Destroyer album in 2010!
• There’s a new Sigh song!
• Varg Vikernes came out of the closet!

So, see? LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

In conclusion:

Have a good weekend.

-AR