Last summer Poison toured with Mötley Crüe, and that seemed like pretty much the best glam metal nostalgia tour imaginable; now Rikki Rockett has announced via Facebook that this summer Poison will be touring with Def Leppard, which is, somehow, an even more sugary confection than the Crüe tour. Whether or not it will be as fun as the Crüe tour will be entirely dependent on Def Lep, since Poison have somehow managed to out-ridiculous themselves into oblivion. I haven’t seen Def Leppard since circa 2001, so I really have no idea how good or bad they are in a live setting now.

ANYWAY, presumably dates will be announced soon. While you wait, enjoy this poster from 2009′s Def Leppard/Poison tour. Just ignore the part that says “Cheap Trick” at the bottom, ’cause Cheap Trick will not, to the best of my knowledge, be playing this new trek.

-AR

When ex-Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy announced an unlikely collaboration with John Sykes (above left, the guy who wrote Whitesnake’s huge album), it was easy to be of two minds: On the one hand, Portnoy had reactivated the long-dormant Sykes, which is awesome; but, jeez, the Portnoy-Sykes affair also set a roadblock before any potential reunion of Blue Murder, Sykes’ awesomely awesome supergroup with drummer Carmine Appice and farty Tony Franklin. That’s a bummer.

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It’s funny. It seems like whenever I’m lukewarm on a blockbuster act, there comes along a different band that does their thing in a deeper, less entry-level way. Example: When I heard At The Drive-In’s Relationship Of Command, I felt like that energy was what Rage Against The Machine had been driving at. Same for Minus’s Jesus Christ Bobby and Converge. Or here’s an obvious one: Lacuna Coil and Evanescence.

Likewise, Blessed By A Broken Heart’s 2009 album Pedal To The Metal is what I’d hoped for from Avenged Sevenfold: A reformed metalcore band’s full-bore arena jamz no fucks given. Blessed, their name a vestige of their frowny past, still rocks the occasional breakdown, but mostly new album Feel The Power (out today) grafts high-level riffing to the sugary vibe of Journey and the pro-party platform of Andrew WK, like a perkier, shred-based Lostprophets for Christ. I phoned up singer Tony Gambino to talk all about Power, the mental stamina it takes to endure tr00 metal attitude, partying, the ’80s, and their rift with Century Media.

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Last month, Billy McCarthy and James Stonich, from the Chicago band Kid Rocker, brought a lawsuit against Poison, Capital Records, and EMI Music, claiming that they were owed money because Poison guitarist C.C. DeVille stole some songs from them, including ”Talk Dirty To Me,” “I Won’t Forget You,” “Fallen Angel” and “Ride the Wind.” At the time, The Hollywood Reporter was, uh, y’know, reporting that “before… [DeVille] joined Poison, he auditioned for Kid Rocker.” The fact that DeVille’s relationship with McCarthy and Stonich was so tenuous, combined with the fact that it had inexplicably taken these men more than two decades to bring the lawsuit against Poison, made the whole thing feel, well, bullshitty.

But it might not be so bullshitty after all. McCarthy and Stonich’s lawyer is now claiming to have a recording of a 1994 radio interview in which DeVille admits that he was in a band called Screamin’ Mimis with with McCarthy (who our pal Mick Stingley tells me was also in D’Molls), before telling McCarthy that “for that first album, you should have made some money,” and  ”we have video tapes of us doing ‘Talk Dirty To Me’.” And now Metal Insider has dug up that video, which does, indeed, show DeVille with McCarthy and Stonich, performing “Talk Dirty to Me.” Check it out:

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…Max Cavalera recently revealed during a radio interview (video above) that he’s working on his autobiography with British journalist Joel McIver, who has previously penned such metal-themed tomes as The Bloody Reign of Slayer and Justice for All: The Truth about Metallica. The forward will apparently be written by Dave Grohl, who collaborated with Cavalera as part of his Probot project back in ’04.

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According to The Hollywood Reporter, two dudes named Billy McCarthy and James Stonich, who were members of a Chicago band called Kid Rocker, are now suing Poison, Capital Records and EMI Music  – because they claim that C.C. DeVille tried out for their band in 1984, heard a bunch of their demos, and then stole those songs, which include the Poison hits ”Talk Dirty To Me,” “I Won’t Forget You,” “Fallen Angel” and “Ride the Wind.”  THR reports that “The plaintiffs are demanding disgorgement of all profits from the songs in question, statutory damages for willful infringement, and an injunction that prevents Poison and [Bret] Michaels from performing this allegedly stolen material.”

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I don’t know the name of the lead singer from Attila, and I’m too lazy to look it up. But I am reasonably certain that his dad must be Rikki Rockett from Poison, because they look so alike it’s eerie.

ANYWAY, I mention it because longtime reader Samuel Favata sent us a video (below) in which Attila give a track by track by breakdown of their new album, Outlawed. And as you’d expect from a band with this level of talent, the explanations provided are never anything less than intelligent and droll. Seriously, if the purpose of this video is to win over new fans, well, I don’t see how it could possibly fail — I mean, who doesn’t wanna be told that “You need to come to the fucking show and buy me another round, and if you don’t, then just stay home and jerk off and don’t talk to me.” It’s like this guy studied advertising with Don Draper!

If you don’t value the next three-and-a-half minutes of your life, feel free to watch the video after the jump.

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Some will say that it’s hypocritical of me to make fun of Bret Michaels for launching Pets Rock, a line of “rock and roll pet gear” that will be sold exclusively at Pet Smart stores starting next summer, even though I love Ben Weinman’s Garmutt apparel for dogs. But I assert that there are three key differences between the two companies, besides the fact that, y’know, Weinman is brilliant and Michaels is not so much brilliant. And those differences are as follows:

1. Like I said, Michaels’ products will be sold exclusively at Pet Smart; Garmutt only sells to “independent brick-and-mortar retailers… [not] big-box pet chains.” Point: Garmutt.
2. The name “Garmutt” is witty. The name “Pets Rock” clearly took all of two seconds for some schmoe to think up. I haven’t seen the Pets Rock products yet, but I’d wager we’ll be able to say the same about those items, too; Garmutt is famous for their “Master of Puppies” dog hoodies, but I bet the best thing Michaels’ team will come up will be something about cats and pussies. Point: Garmutt.
3. Weinman is a known animal lover who has done work for PETA. Michaels, meanwhile, has been mercilessly slaughtering golden retriever puppies for years in order to continue manufacturing his wigs. Dude wasn’t even nice to the dogs he slept with on Rock of Love. Point: Garmutt.

I defy you to argue against my logic. It simply cannot be done.

-AR

[via Noisecreep]

I meant to remind you guys yesterday but I’m a dick so I forgot — Arch Enemy’s North American Khaos Tour, which we here at MetalSucks are very proudly co-presenting, is now underway! I’ve been trying to find fan-filmed footage from last night’s kickoff show in Baltimore to no avail, but I hear the concert was great… which is really no shock. Especially given that the three support bands — DevilDriver, Skeletonwitch, and Chthonic — are all as much fun as Arch Enemy! You can get dates here. If anyone is gonna be at the NYC show tonight, come find us. I’ll be the really, really not-sober guy in the back screaming for them to play “Savage Messiah” over and over again.

Now, here’s some stuff we did this week:

• We debuted new music from Black Cobra.
• We also debuted an outtake from the movie Hesher and a clip from Fantomas’ new live DVD.
• We spoke to Charlie Benante from Anthrax and Avi Kulawy from Magrudergrind.
• We checked out the latest releases from Brutal Truth, Wolves in the Throne Room,and Bloodsoaked.
• We debated the merits of new songs from Mastodon, Opeth, and Megadeth.
• We launched The Third Annual “Run MetalSucks for a Day” contest.
• Vince listed “The Top Fifteen Reasons Metallica are the Yankees of Metal,” and then The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley offered a retort.
• We fucked Bret Michaels in the motherfucking eye.
• We voted for Sergeant D.’s acoustic cover of The Acacia Strain.
• We almost had to kill a puppy.

And, oh hey, did we mention that tickets for The Metal Suckfest are on sale now? We did? Okay, swell!

Have a good weekend, y’all. See ya Monday.

-AR

9/11 is obviously a complicated issue, and it’s one I feel no desire to make light of. So when discussing Bret Michael’s new 9/11 tribute video, “One More Day,” I am going to try to be sensitive as possible.

Fuck Bret Michaels in the eye.

Wait wait wait wait, that came out wrong. What I meant to type was  –

FUCK BRET MICHAELS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING EYE.

This video isn’t reprehensible (just) because it’s a cheesy oversimplification of the aforementioned complicated issue. I don’t even really care that Michaels used it as an opportunity to glorify himself as a USO performer — he’s not the first celebrity to pat himself on the back for doing something nice, and he won’t be the last.

No no no, what’s really offensive about this video is inclusion of the following picture:

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Vince and I are going to see the Mötley Crüe /Poison/New York Dolls tour tonight, and, yes, we are excited. And while it briefly seemed as though this would be a magically drama-free tour after Nikki Sixx allegedly apologized for some not-very-nice things he and at least one of his bandmates (Tommy Lee) said about Poison, it’s become increasingly clear that Nikki either didn’t apologize, or didn’t want that apology made public. In any case, he has continued to smack-talk Poison at every opportunity, which, of course, makes us drama queens at MetalSucks very happy.

But the really wacky thing about Nikki’s insults against Bret Michaels and company — and I’ve been saying this since November, when word of the tour first got out — is that Nikki seems to be operating under the impression that Mötley Crüe never dressed like this…

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I am old and married to a kindergarten teacher, therefore, I can only go to concerts during the sweltering months of summer.

This is my summer vacation (Part I).

WHO:MÖTLEY CRÜE, POISON & NEW YORK DOLLS
WHERE: AT&T Center — San Antonio, Texas
WHEN: June 9, 2011

I can’t say I was too excited to check out this bill. I did give Mötley Crüe a solid review for their 2008 Crüefest that scooted into the now-defunct Verizon Wireless Amphitheater under the scornful eye of a vicious summer storm, despite the fact Buckcherry, Sixx A.M., and Trapt opened up for them. This time around, I can’t say their choice for major support would cause me to sport a woody. I mean, c’mon… Poison? 4srslz?

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The Nikki Sixx v. Poison battle has gone to such ridiculous heights I’m starting to think Nikki and Bret Michaels are in cahoots and had this whole thing planned out from the very beginning. It’s certainly gotten them a ton of press, right? Who am I kidding… let’s not give either of these dunderheads too much credit for doing anything other than writing good songs 20 years ago.

There’s been so much yammering back and forth since the Motley / Poison tour was announced this Spring that I honestly can’t keep track of who said what anymore. But in the latest tidbit Nikki once again slams Poison as a second-place contender for this tour (emphasis added):

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Am I high or is it weird that in 2011 nobody touts the first two Skid Row records as mega-masterpieces? What has undermined lasting renown? Is it that those jams are too heavy for radio listeners and not aggro enough for metal fans? Did major line-up changes doom them to be written off (except for the three enduring singles)? Is it Sebastian Bach’s fault? Is the rest of the band too stubborn and unambitious? Really, has there been a more compelling, awesome, and fearless heavy rock record since? Help me figure this out?

To me, it’s not a problem per se that one-time Skid Row vocalist Sebastian Bach is a huge jackass. One, his all-time top ten singing chops justify extreme arrogance and render decency unnecessary; two, reality TV and morning radio has immunized us all to dunderheads of Bach’s type. So fans are over it, right? Yet it’s still possible that Bach’s exhausting bimbo-ism has quieted the global and unanimous mega-acclaim that Skid Row deserves. How?

Think about it: Is it not Bach-related acrimony among the members of Skid Row that hamstrings their legacy-building? No reunion tours, no massive retrospectives, no anniversary celebrations. No documentaries, no tribute albums, no peer buzz. It’s probably Bach’s spaztardation that makes these things impossible. Click to read more…

Okay so that’s not a direct quote, but still.

Last week I expressed some disappointment that everyone in Mötley Crüe and Poison seems to be getting along in advance of their upcoming summer tour, with Nikki Sixx apparently even going so far as to apologize to Bret Michaels for derogatory comments he had made about Poison in the past — y’know, like when he called Poison “fake bullshit” and declared that The Crüe “would never, ever tour with a fucking band like Poison.”

But guess what? As it turns out — shock of shocks — either Michaels is a liar or delusional, or Sixx is a liar or just an asshole. ‘Cause now Nikki has taken to Twitter to assure the world that, no, he never apologized for his comments:

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An Open Letter to Mötley Crüe and Poison

Dear Members of Mötley Crüe and Poison,

Okay so look. Vince and I already have our tickets to your big summer tour with the New York Dolls. You have our money. You won that fight. It’s over.

So the least you could do is make the tour fucking entertaining. And, no, I don’t mean by playing “Live Wire” and “Ride the Wind” or whatever. I mean, you’re gonna play those songs, but that’s a given.

No no no no no no no. What we really, really want here is some DRAMA. Some FEUDING between the bands. You’re Mötley Crüe and Poison, fer cryin’ out loud! You chase trends. Star on reality shows. Contract and spread diseases. Release terrible records. This tour is not supposed to be some huge love fest. It’s supposed to be a total shit show.

Which is why I’m really pissed that, thus far, you seem to be getting along. You’re doing talk shows together. And now Bret Michaels says that Nikki Sixx has even apologized for the comments he and other members of The Crüe have made about Poison — y’know, the ones where they called Poison “fake bullshit,” swore that they “would never, ever tour with a fucking band like Poison,” and even yelled at a fan over Twitter for suggesting such a heinous concept. According to Mr. Rock of Love:

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The Foo Fighters and Hollywood Undead were finally toppled from their respective #1 and #2 spots last week after holding down the fort in that order for three straight weeks prior (with Hollywood Undead at #1 the week before Foo Fighters’ debut), but rest assured, they’re still at #2 and #3 and show no signs of letting up. Nikki Sixx’s new Sixx A.M. record nabbed the top spot on the Hard Music Charts this week, undoubtedly due to this record-shifting post.

Elsewhere, Shinedown debuted their new live album, another Poison greatest hits collection flopped, and some other bands sold some records too. The numbers:

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The challenge for tireless bullshitters like Nikki Sixx, Max Cavalera, Dave Mustaine, Steven Tyler, and Sammy Hagar is overcoming audience immunity. Know what I mean? With every distorted remembrance and self-aggrandizing observation, the shit-talker’s would-be customers (i.e. us) build a resistance to his line of artlessly cloaked sales-speak and attention-mongering. So the leg-puller succumbs to the tugging urge to ramp up the bullshit, to swing bigger and more wildly, in his quest for exposure for a crappy book, charmless side project, or half-assed clothing line. The result? Boldly false accusations, misremembered details, poorly-veiled disses, and … well, and everything Mustaine ever says. Bullshit.

Which is fine. Cuz we don’t admire musicians for their devotion to perspective and modesty (except Devin Townsend lovvvve youuuuuu). But in the case of Sixx, grand champion of public self-worship, it might be necessary to stage an intervention; the Motley Crue bassist, who spent a few years using heroin and a few decades telling the world about it, might lose a jaw bone for all his recent ShamWow-style jabbering about Crue albums that no one will buy (Saints of Los Angeles limped to gold sales status), his new photography book (lulz meet me in the quad later, stud), and the next tour to be ruined by fat-ass Vince Neil this summer with Poison. All that blabbing! His tongue must be raw with abrasions, his lips nearly flapped right off his face. He can’t stop and he needs help!

But I might be wrong. Shit, just maybe Sixx is speaking the truth and I can’t handle it. So when impartiality is key, when neutrality is a necessity, when there are cold, hard facts to be parsed from dumb, dishonest bullshit, we wheel in the always reliable MetalSucks Translate-Bot 3000. Time is of the essence if Sixx is to be saved from himself and, eventually, from gaffer-tape wielding music journalists. Go, Translate-Bot 3000, go! Click to read more…

Long-time readers of MetalSucks are fully aware of my lifelong obsession with Mötley Crüe. Okay, it was more like a two-year love affair, at least until I discovered Terry Glaze-fronted Pantera, Metallica, and the English Dogs.

I have ruined any chances of running for public office by openly displaying my dress-up capabilities as both Vince Neil and Nikki Sixx on this wonderful publication. I have reviewed the band’s concerts here, as well as their books (and books, and books).

My pathetic one-sided man crush was shattered on December 8, 1984, when lead singer Vince Neil vehicularly manslaughtered 24-year-old Hanoi Rocks drummer Nicholas “Razzle” Dingley, while driving his Pantera to a liquor store in Redondo Beach, California, to pick up some booze. Interestingly enough, that was the same exact moment the band’s music began to completely suck. Hard.

That brings us to modern day Mötley Crüe and their upcoming co-headlining summer tour with metal stalwarts Poison **hack** and glam rock pioneers the New York Dolls. According to Blabbermouth, Crüe bassist and de facto leader Nikki Sixx claims that the band’s fans “demanded” that they take Poison out on the road. MetalSucks co-head honcho Axl Rosenberg, of course, is much wiser than Sixx gives him credit.

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There was a brief moment when I was a kid first being introduced to glam during which I could not tell Vince Neil and C.C. DeVille apart for some reason. And at this point, Motley Crue and Poison are equally ridiculous — and now they’re touring together, too. So I’m just gonna put all the emerging news concerning both bands in one big heap after the jump. I’m sure of the five of you who still care won’t mind.

And so:

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