Reunion Mania

WE CALLED IT: WES BORLAND RE-JOINS LIMP SUCKIT

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WE CALLED IT: WES BORLAND RE-JOINS LIMP SUCKITFuck Wes Borland, and fuck everyone who supported this lying sack of shit.

We first got the news that the cancerous, malignant, inoperable growth known as “Limp Bizkit” were reuniting in October – albeit with former Cold/current Evansuckence axe man Terry Balsucko on guitar, since apparently Borland still had some sense of artistic integrity hadn’t been offered enough money yet.

But I wrote: “I’d’ put money on [Borland] returning to the fold at some point.” As a matter of fact, I’d predicted Borland’s inevitable return to Bizkit even before the official Bizkit reunion was announced. Writing about Borland’s playing with Marilyn Manson in August, I declared:

“Borland has been making the rounds lately, ostensibly denouncing his former life as a terrorist against human ears and good taste, but to be honest, I don’t quite buy it; lest we forget, the guy has already quit, and re-joined, Limp Bizkit once, and since past behavior is always the best indicator of what will future behavior will be, when the inevitable Limp Bizkit rap-metal nostalgia tour DOES happen, there’s no doubt in my mind Borland will be there, cashing in just like everyone else.”

Still, not everyone agreed with me. Here are some of the comments people left after we said Borland was gonna re-join the band at some point:

“I’m sure you have denounced things you did in your early twenties as well. And Limp Bizkit just announced a reunion and guess who isn’t there ‘cashing in’…. You guessed it: Wes.” – Ben Richards

“dude who wrote this shit is a retard. Wes left Limp Bizkit in the 1990’s cause he said it was retarded and he felt like he ‘sold his soul’ by playing for them.” – king kobra

“Whoever wrote this article, you frankly suck shit, because not only are your points either invalid or poorly/loosly supported, you’re trying to be this anti-Limp Bizkit badass, but you come off as a fag.” – Name

I couldn’t believe that anyone legitimately thought Borland might care about anything besides money – I mean, even if the guy did have legitimate artistic aspirations, he clearly wasn’t talented enough to achieve them.

And then, on top of all of this, as recently as last fucking week Borland was denying in the press that he’d ever return to Bizkit:

“I have no plans on working with Limp again. It’s better for me for sure. I’m having a great time doing (Black Light Burns).”

Well, hey, guess what, kiddies? BORLAND IS BACK WITH BIZKIT.

Here’s a statement from Borland and Fred Durst in which they attempt to pretend that this reunion about anything more than money:

“We decided we were more disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music than we were with each other. Regardless of where our separate paths have taken us, we recognize there is a powerful and unique energy with this particular group of people we have not found anywhere else. This is why Limp Bizkit is back.”

Let me translate that for you in rational human speak:

“Bullshit bullshit bullshit, Black Light Burns didn’t make any money, bullshit bullshit bullshit, Fred’s movies didn’t make any money, bullshit bullshit bullshit, John Otto begged and sucked us off, bullshit bullshit bullshit, there’s money to be made doing this reunion!”

I mean, seriously: the members of Limp Bizkit are disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music? Heavy popular music just spent the better part of the last decade trying to recover from what these fuckwads did to it; how the fuck is “Nookie” the answer?

So I’ll say it again: fuck Wes Borland, and fuck anyone who supported this lying sack of shit. This twit and his fucktarded tiki doll make-up and lame, tired riffs riff are every bit as much at fault for the global apocalypse this reunion will surely bring as Fred Durst is. I hope Durst drives him nuts every minute of every day until he finally goes back to teaching guitar clinics in Jakarta. Cock sucker.

-AR

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