Green Eggs and Slam

Are BROKEN HOPE the next CROWBAR?????

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broken hope

As u may know, i am a 20+ year veteran of the metal scene. As such, i have seen it all– bands cum and go, rise and fall, styles die then be brought back, etc etc. It is pretty hard to shock or surprise me bc I’ve been there and done that. I admit that at first I was a bit taken aback when I first heard that hardcore kids were jocking CROWBAR (a band that while excellent, nobody rly gave a shit about when they were in their prime), but it kinda makes sense– I mean CROWBAR are sick and their riffs basically sound like 2014 hardcore bands except much better, so I get it.

But never in my wildest, most far fetched dreams did I think that I would have heard the name BROKEN HOPE more in the previous few weeks than in the last 15 years combined. Like CROWBAR, at their prime they were moderately popular at best. But unlike CROWBAR, they are terrible. Maybe not as awful as CIANIDE or BRUTALITY, but only one very small step away from that level of crappiness!!

probably the single most shockingly awful album cover i have ever seen in my entire life (reminds me of MORDRED “Fool’s Game” only somehow even worse and more embarrassing). also this is a great example of how u usually CAN judge a book by its cover because the quality of the music is roughly on par with the cover art (except the drumming which is significantly worse if u can imagine that)

this is one of their new songs. it sounds exactly like their old ones, only with cleaner, modern production. however, i do not think technology is their friend. it was better when u couldn’t hear exactly what they were playing bc then ur brain had to fill in the missing parts and u could trick urself into thinking that they were good

protip: they akshually have 2 albums that have some good songs on them!!! this one and “grotesque blessings” have some sick riffs on them. if u just ignore the comically bad drumming there are some really good parts that are worth a listen or two. i will put them on once every 3-5 years and be like “yeah!!! this riff is sweet!!!!!” then press stop bc the rest of the song/album is dreadful and be like “hey little buddy, see u again in 5 years, hang tight” and give my “Loathing” cassette an encouraging pat as i put it back into the moldy box in my basement

I turn to u, the readers for answers. I am scared, confused and frankly feeling helpless in the face of the baffling flood of BROKEN HOPE-related news items on the web. Help me make sense of this topsy-turvy world– i feel like when ur grandma sees internet porn for the first time and she is like “why did she let him put THAT in THERE?!?!” is this just a momentary disturbance in the force, or will THE BROKEN HOPES be the next CROWBAR???

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