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Exclusive: Pronogrind Legends Lake Bvkkake Announce New Line of Faux-Retail Clothing Chain Merch

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Will New York’s most legendary underground pornogrind band, Lake Bukkake, EVER release a new album??? Last we heard, they’d changed the name of the forever-in-the-works release from Chinese Bukkacy to the somehow-even-more-clever A Long Time Cuming, but the band wraps themselves in so much secrecy (they still refuse to join any social networks or reissue their long out-of-print classic albums and EPs) that it’s basically impossible to get any new details. But trust us, it’s not for lack of trying. We fucking LOVE this band.

So while it may not be as good as a new album, we were still delighted to receive an e-mail earlier today from the band’s drummer, Beatdik, in which he tipped us off to a new line of Lake Bukkake merch… which, of course, doesn’t actually have much to do with Lake Bukkake. More specifically: it’s all shirts for fake retail clothing chains, which we assume is intended to satirize the recent controversy surrounding H&M’s decision to manufacture and sell merch for fake metal bands.

Here are the sample images Beatdik included with his e-mail:lake bukkake s&m shirtlake bukkake f ewelake bukkake bitchboxWhile we wrote back to Beatdik asking where fans would be able to purchase these items, he never replied. That dude clearly takes pleasure in fucking with us.

So this is probably all just a joke, and you’ll never actually be able to buy it. But while we wait to find out for sure, we ask you: is this funnier than what the dude from Finntroll did? Equally funny? Not as funny? Sound off in the comments section below! Maybe if enough people rally Beatdik and the band will get off their collective ass and actually do something.

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