Shit That Comes Out Today

Today’s new metal releases include albums by Skinless, Maruta, Paradise Lost, The Darkness, and more.

This week’s heavy new releases: all stripes of weird.

That whole “Faith No More new album” thing was not some cruel and fantastic dream! (Bonus: fifty other heavy new releases!)

Some of this week’s many heavy new releases have naked ladies on their covers!

We have the best job in the universe: here are 65 heavy new releases for you! Your life will never be the same!

This week’s heavy new releases include Bell Witch, A Secret Revealed, Monolord, The Crinn, Muse, and lots of stuff liked by European people.

All of this week’s heavy new releases just ladled right onto your face. Just sit there.

So wait, she has a dong? What are we looking at here?

Minsk, Byzantine, Voivod/At The Gates, Soilwork, Gorguts, Malthusian, Enforcer, and tons more heavy new releases! TONS!

Ufomammut, Pantommind, Blliigghhtted, Wrathage, Murg, Inculter, Pregierz, and 42 more heavy new releases by bands with normaller names!

Oceano, Liturgy, Fulgora, The Monolith Deathcult, Groan, Karyn Crisis, Unrest and 50 more heavy new releases. No big whoop.

This week’s Heavy New Releases tip: The album with pyramids on its cover is not by the band called Pyramids!

Given 60 heavy new releases, you could blindly select at least four gems. Will it be Kjeld, Enslaved, Santa Cruz, and The Haunting Presence? Or Sacral Rage, Urfaust, Psycroptic, and Harm’s Way?? Or Garden Of Worm, Mnemic, Cancer Bats, and Europe??

March comes in like a lion via Negura Bunget, The Scorpions, Kjeld, Leviathan, Monsterworks, Caveat, and forty more.

We got 70 heavy new releases — wanna listen to any of ’em? All That Remains, Benighted, Ensiferum, Griever, Carach Angren, Rob Zombie, Torche, Pelican, Nasty, and more.

It’s our heavy new releases round-up, featuring Kinski, Primitive Man, Carnation, Vardan, and some awesome stuff you’ve never even heard of!

Today’s heavy new releases from Cowards, Marduk, Rwake, Sdick To Your Buns, Taake, and tons more!

Today’s new releases include albums by Fulgora, Hellish Outcast, A Swarm of the Sun, and more.

Xibalba, Periphery, Voices, Venom, Sodom, Sumokem and more are this week’s heavy new releases!

Alright now look. Several dorky bands have albums out today, and I don’t want anybody shoving them around just cuz they’re different! Theirs and a bunch of awesome heavy new releases in here.