Photos by Brian Schroeter

The guys of Anthrax soon go to south and southeast Asia for a week of shows with Hellyeah [Update: These dates have been postponed -- ADF], but their current US run with Testament finished last week. Since the return of glory-era singer Joey Belladonna, the Anthrax world is a fishbowl to which I have pressed my face. So two Saturdays ago, it was time for me to tap on the glass and take notes. The questions: How does Belladonna sing and look? What’s the band body language? Do drummer Charlie Benante’s fills sound off? Has Scott Ian grown a better or worse beard? Can fans exhale a bit here with the firm knowledge that things are groovy for good in the land of Anthrax?

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The usual problems a band must endure from its drummer include tardiness, unfamiliarity with new material, no memory of old material, bringing their gf/driver everywhere, selling gear for food, non-ownership of drumsticks, car trouble, body odor, shortness, loss of one or more shoes, delirium, etc. But some drummer-issues can’t be predicted; for example, completion of the new Testament record has been delayed by drummer Paul Bostaph’s undisclosed injury. Singer Chuck Billy kinda explained Sunday in a radio interview:

Paul Bostaph is injured right now, so he couldn’t [work on] the record. We kind of put the record off a little while waiting for Paul. [Then] we found out he was not gonna be ready, so we brought on Gene Hoglan. Hoglan came in and crushed, killed the drums in about a week.

Awesome! Billy goes on to reveal the new album’s title, its other guest drummer, and the face-fuckingly awesome tour to be announced:

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Of course when you set out to make a list like, say, the one we’re doing right now, of The Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists, you are bound to piss a lot of people off — that just comes with the job.

But I always find it hilarious HOW those people get pissed off. For example, this week I saw a lot of complaints that the guitar players we’ve been selecting aren’t “modern.” And I can’t believe we have to fucking define the word “modern” for some of you idiots, but apparently we do. So:

So… which one of you jackasses would like to call up Alex Skolnick or Vernon Reid or Adam Jones and let them know they’re antiquated and obsolete? ‘Cause I saw Testament and Living Colour and Tool live just last year, and I would not want to make that call. Just because those dudes have been playing this game for awhile doesn’t mean their best days are behind them.

My point simply being: I don’t care if you hate our choices. That’s fine. But at least try to hate our choices based on an argument that makes sense, y’know?

And on that note, here are other ways we entertained ourselves this week:

• We debuted new music from A Pale Horse Named Death and Oakhelm.
• We checked out the latest releases from From Exile, Godstopper, and Cruachan.
• We wondered which is better, old music or new music?
• We philosophized about Google’s new cloud service.
• We fretted that metal may soon be blamed for terrorism.
• We got excited about The Faceless’ new demo.
• We bemoaned the current state of In Flames.
• We wept because Dave Grohl is not going to be on the new Mastodon album after all.
• We enjoyed a vegetarian cooking lesson from a dude in corpse paint.
• We questioned the logic of the new Avenged Sevenfold video.

Next week we unveil numbers fifteen through eleven on our guitar player list; the average age of those five musicians is thirty-one, whereas the average age of this week’s selections was forty-two. So maybe you can go back to being upset because you think they suck, not because you think they’re too old to be “modern.”

-AR

MetalSucks recently polled its staff to determine who are The Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists, and after an incredible amount of arguing, name calling, and physical violence, we have finalized that list! The only requirements to be eligible for the list were that the musician in question had to a) play metal (duh), b) play guitar (double-duh), and c) have recorded something in the past five years. Today we continue our countdown with Testament’s Alex Skolnick…

If there’s one dude that has fused jazz and metal together by way of guitar better than Alex Sknolnick, I don’t think I’ve heard him yet. It probably doesn’t hurt that Skolnick studied under Joe Satriani. But when the then fifteen year old Alex Skolnick joined Legacy, the band that would go on to become Testament, he couldn’t have possibly imagined the kind of guitar icon he would become as one of thrash’s signature soloists, a touring part of Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s annual arena sell-out showcase, and his own acoustic jazz-metal hybrid band, The Alex Skolnick Trio.

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In 1968, Gary Moore (above, top left) was just 16 years old when he joined future Thin Lizzy frontman Phil Lynott in the Dublin blues-rock quartet Skid Row*. So, Moore was a charter member of the Society of Overachieving Teen Guitarists that would later include Steve Vai (19, Frank Zappa), Zakk Wylde (19, Ozzy Osbourne), and Devin Townsend (19, Steve Vai). Pretty elite company.

After a pair of short stints in Thin Lizzy, Moore again reunited with Lynott in 1979 for the band’s seminal Black Rose: A Rock Legend (see Axl Rose’s Black Rose-themed tattoo here, upper left). More than twenty solo albums followed, including 2008’s Bad For You Baby.

British tabloid The Sun reports that Moore, 58, was discovered unresponsive by medical staff in a Spain hotel suite where there were “definite signs of alcohol.” The Sun also quotes a source at the hotel who has stated that Moore “seemed fine when he left [the hotel bar] around 11 pm.” A post mortem has been scheduled.

After the jump, check out the MetalSucks round up of tributes to Moore by members of Obituary, Opeth, Black Flag, Testament, Black Sabbath, and mo(o)re.

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So 70,000 Tons of Metal, the most metal cruise EV-AR, has now ended — but that doesn’t mean the fun is over. We’re gonna have a couple more Tons of Fun for you during the week, starting with the below video, taken during the cruise, of Testament’s Alex Skolnick, Exodus’ Tom Hunting, and Death Angel’s Rob Cavestany doing a karaoke version of The Eagles’ “Lying Eyes” onboard the ship.

Yep. We’re being totally serious.

We first saw this amazing video over at Metal Insider; they also have clips of karaoke performances from members of Fear Factory, Sodom, Ensiferum, Tyr, and Swashbuckle. So head on over to Metal Insider if you wanna see some of your heroes embarrassing themselves in the name of fun.

Also, our bro-bros at Metal Injection were actually on the cruise, giving constant live updates. Go here if you wanna read all about their adventures, or if you just wanna look at pictures of MI’s resident female, Noa Avior, in a bikini.

-AR

In a way, Testament is like The Small Faces to Metallica’s Beatles and Slayer’s Rolling Stones: a band as virtuosic, productive, and creatively astute as their deified peers, but hamstrung by bad business breaks. Another factor is the absence of an outspoken know-it-all (Slayer, Metallica), a gimmicky mascot (Anthrax), or a Mustaine-esque diva (duh) to which Testament’s marketing efforts could be anchored. Aside from singer Chuck Billy’s serious illness a decade ago, the Testament story’s most noteworthy turns include little more than the defection of a jazz-crazy guitarist and a dickish but minor betrayal by metal’s most corpulent drummer.

Even if a hypothetical Testament: Behind The Music would clock in at about six minutes, an All-Star Tribute To Testament concert event could stretch across days to cover just the highlights of their dudless catalogue. (My personal best-of runs 175 minutes. Yeah baby.) And while the band is enjoying what guitarist Eric Peterson calls “a second wind” since the return of uber-guitarist Alex Skolnick and bassist Greg Peterson for the magnificent 2008 outing The Formation of Damnation, Testament remains supplicant to sexier tourmates Slayer and Megadeth in the opening slot on this summer’s rescheduled American Carnage Tour. That seems fine by the surprisingly affable (and occasionally merry) Chuck Billy, who spoke exclusively to MetalSucks about getting hammered in Europe, how Dave Lombardo’s enabled the awesomeness of The Gathering, the quest to control their back catalogue, and their exciting-as-fuck new setlist. Emphasis on “new.”

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“Bark at the Moon” is to Shadows Fall as “Holy Diver” is to Killswitch Engage. They’re both covers of classic solo tracks by former Sabbath vocalists, and both songs were released in their original incarnation in 1983. (The connection between the two songs gets even weirder if you consider that Vinny Appice played drums on “Diver,” while his brother, Carmine, appears in the original “Moon” video even though he didn’t play on the recording.) And just as I imagine that it’ll be some time before KSE ever play another set without doing “Diver,” so it seems that “Moon” is now a staple of the Shads’ live show.

The band recently played the song in Toronto, with a special guest appearance from Alex Skolnick on guitars. The influence of Testament on Shadows Fall has always seemed pretty clear, so it’s cool to watch them get to jam with one of their heroes. Bonus: you can imagine an alternate world where Skolnick left Testament in 1992 and became Ozzy’s guitar player. It would have been post-No More Tears, the last truly worthwhile Ozzy album; Skolnick might have saved us from another seventeen years of sub-par material and guitar squeals!

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

Metal fans, let’s take a collective moment to consider ourselves blessed with some big Peters. Peters who will take you firmly from both sides of the mixing board with confidence and expertise. Sweaty, bulging-veined Peters whose live shows leave willing multitudes spent, sated, slack – and more than a bit bruised. These Peters, thanks to generous endowments of talent, stand fully erect as superstars in real metal. Each of metal’s hugest Peters share a rock hard work ethic, hardly pausing for rest between releases captured on tape and performances in the flesh, after which they simply move on to violate again in another city.

For the second installment of MetalSucks’ Metal’s Biggest Peters, I phoned Testament’s Eric Peterson, for whom I had no fewer than ten-thousand questions. But Peterson is busy building the next classic Testament record and preparing for the Slayer/Megadeth-headlined American Carnage tour – or, simply, the Slaygadethstament Tour – so I’d have to wait for another day to press him about producers Tony Platt and GGGarth Richardson; nor would we discuss Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo’s career performance on The Gathering, the record that re-launched Testament as a metal juggernaut; neither was there an opportunity to probe Peterson’s feelings on the infiltration of Testament by an unapologetic jazz devotee in godly guitarist Alex Skolnick; and I’d have to refrain from following-up on his passing mentions of good new music and jerkface Dave Mustaine. Still, the genial and passionate Peterson opened up about the diplomacy required to lead a metal band, Testament’s surprising new setlist, the potential for blastbeats on the follow-up to 2008’s triumphant The Formation of Damnation, and his surefire plan to improve the disaster movie 2012.

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At Relapse Records’ CMJ showcase last month, I had the privilege of briefly meeting Tony from Acrassicuada, a.k.a. “that band from Heavy Metal in Baghdad.” I introduced myself and told him I run a site called MetalSucks; to my incredible shock and joy, he knew what MetalSucks is. See, we’d sent the band a care package way back in 2007, which included some MetalSucks stickers; he told me that he’d kept one of those stickers on his guitar for some time. And while it’s entirely possible that he was just blowing smoke up I ass, I don’t think he was – I didn’t prompt him about the care package or anything, he just brought it up. So that was pretty awesome.

ANYWAY, after an incredible amount of struggle, the likes of which I can’t even imagine trying to overcome, Acrassicauda are here in the U.S. and, according to their MySpace page, are getting ready to release an EP:

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Oftentimes, writers tend to fall in love with their own words and florid descriptions. I try to avoid this in my true crime books as I believe the stories themselves propel the tale along.

In music criticism, it’s even worse.

Who can come up with the most br00tal analogies or the wittiest put-downs or the sickest comparisons usually takes precedence over simply writing a straight-forward review of what the writer has just listened to or witnessed? Sometimes it’s not necessary to go into an overly detailed historical analysis of metal or an attempt to make a sociological connection between the music and its fans. I’m sure I’ve fallen prey to pedantic verboseness at times. But, hey, sometimes, it’s just better to tell the readers that “shit sucks” or “shit’s great.”

That being said, Testament and Lazarus A.D. fall into the “shit’s great” category, while Unearth falls into the “shit sucks” category.

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[MetalSucks contributor, resident old fart and best-selling author Corey Mitchell recently attended the San Antonio stop of this summer's Metal Masters tour featuring Judas Priest, Heaven and Hell, Motorhead and Testament. Before the show he caught up with Testament wunkerkind guitarist Alex Skolnick and asked him questions about the band's formation, the steps leading to their reunion, his work with his own jazz trio and his experience being in New York when the twin towers fell on September 11th. Read Corey's review of the show and of course check out his interview with Skolnick after the jump.]

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The biggest metal tour of 2008 rolled through San Antonio at the Verizon Wireless this past Sunday with Testament, Motorhead, Heaven and Hell, and Judas Priest in tow. It was Heavy Metal Parking Lot come to life, only with several more “special” parking spaces for the decidedly older crowd.

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FUCK SCOTT WEILAND. I’m glad you’ve been able to get this far based on your limited vocal range and ability to mimic the same style of on-stage dancing that Bowie and Iggy Pop were doing thirty years ago, but seriously, stop trying to compete with Axl Rose for the “Biggest Asshole” award – Axl will beat your ass every time. Calling Slash by his real name in a press release does not make you clever. Claiming the name “Velvet Revolver” was your idea does not make you cool. You’ve always had to suck off the musical talent teat of others, and every time I think about the fact that Layne Staley couldn’t get it together while you go on and on and on I die a little inside. I hope the DeLeo brothers stab you in the eyes with your fucking needles. And fuck your wife Mary, too.

FUCK ROBB FLYNN. I’m a huge Machine Head fan, but telling people that you “once punched some kid in the face for saying that Gary Holt sucked” is moronic. Metal is supposed to be about blowing off steam in a healthy way so as to avoid actual neanderthal behavior. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to fight in this world, but someone insulting the fucking guitar player from Exodus is not one of them. Put more simply: You either a) actually did punch some dude for talking shit about Holt and are therefore a bona fide moron or b) are lying about punching some dude for talking shit about Holt and are therefore a bona fide moron. Also, every Machine Head album in-between Burn My Eyes and Through the Ashes of Empires was a cock sucking trend chasing waste of time. Deal with it.

FUCK MARIA BRINK. Someone told me that if you see her up close she’s not actually hot, but after looking closely at some candid photos (like this one), I realized you don’t really have to be very close to her all to see that she looks like a fucking rodent. Has this bitch had too much plastic surgery (excuse me, “work done”), or does she really just look  like my morning crap? Also, did you know that she sells hand drawn pictures and poems on her MySpace page (I won’t link to it, go find it if you’re so fucking interested)? I haven’t read the poems but the pictures look like they were drawn by a retarded five year old. Stop wearing that stupid blue dress and trying to exploit your non-existent looks to cover up for your lack of talent. I hope Christina Scabbia kicks you in the twat.

Fuck me for writing this, and fuck you for reading it. I’m gonna go kill a fucking bunny that made fun of Alex Skolnick.

-AR