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Lolz


Lolz 0
Scare Tactics: How To Protect Yourself From The SJW MENACE!!!!!!
June 28th, 2016 at 2:00pm Emperor Rhombus

Don’t let them take your gritty American freedoms away from you!


Lolz 0
James Hetfield to Voice Some Sort of Flying Amphibian on Upcoming Kids Show
June 17th, 2016 at 2:00pm Emperor Rhombus

What we need’s another war.


Lolz 0
Chino Moreno to Play Acoustic Set Inside of Icelandic Volcano
June 15th, 2016 at 10:30am Emperor Rhombus

This is how Pompeii happened.


Lolz 0
Welcome To The Support Group For Metalheads Who Just Can’t Do Festivals Anymore
May 27th, 2016 at 12:40pm Emperor Rhombus

No names here, friend.


Lolz 0
New Supergroup Alert: New Supergroup Alert Unites Current and Former Members of Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Metallica, Anthrax, Slipknot, and More!
May 24th, 2016 at 12:00pm Axl Rosenberg

The superest of super groups to date!


Lolz 0
Axl Rose Stands On His Own at AC/DC Show
May 20th, 2016 at 10:30am Emperor Rhombus

Literally, like on his feet.


Lolz 0
Breaking: Eddie Has Gone Missing
May 18th, 2016 at 11:00am Emperor Rhombus

This is a state of emergency.


Lolz 0
Scare Tactics: Was Obama BORN IN FINLAND?!?!?!?!
May 16th, 2016 at 4:30pm Emperor Rhombus

Nice try, Barack KUOPPALA Obama.


Lolz 0
Scare Tactics: Does Prog Metal Make You STERILE?!?!
April 29th, 2016 at 3:30pm Emperor Rhombus

Recent studies have been released linking the performance of prog metal to STERILITY, IMPOTENCE, and even BALL DEATH.


Lolz 0
Video: Bruce Dickinson Confronts (But Doesn’t Break) Iron Maiden’s Chinese Censorship Rules Onstage in Shanghai
April 29th, 2016 at 11:30am Emperor Rhombus

I love this dude.


Lolz 0
Let The Metal Motivator Kick Your Life Into 666th Gear
April 12th, 2016 at 4:00pm Emperor Rhombus

I love being motivated! I LOVE BEING MOTIVATED!


Lolz 0
Forgotten Tears Don’t Give a Fuck What You Think About Them
April 8th, 2016 at 4:00pm Phil Boozeman

And they made a music video to prove it!


Lolz 0
David Draiman Apologizes to Texting Fan — But He Also Makes a Grammatical Oopsie!
April 1st, 2016 at 2:00pm MetalSucks

He says he feels “badly,” but we think he probably just feels bad!


Lolz 0
Here’s Slayer and Testament Cuddling Some Puppies
March 22nd, 2016 at 10:00am Emperor Rhombus

I swear we didn’t photoshop these.


Lolz 0
Seven Other Bands Changing Their Name to Play South Africa
March 11th, 2016 at 12:30pm Axl Rosenberg

Deicide, Heaven Shall Burn, and Goatwhore are among the bands will to compromise for fans in that part of the world.


Lolz 0
Scare Tactics: Can Headbanging KILL YOU?!?!
March 10th, 2016 at 3:30pm Emperor Rhombus

Innocent expression of fandom or one-way ticket road to the grave?


Lolz 0
Papa Emeritus III Got Himself as a Cake for His Birthday
March 7th, 2016 at 2:30pm Emperor Rhombus

Ghost and cake. You really can’t lose.


Lolz 0
Foo Fighters are on Indefinite Hiatus, Laughing At Us All
March 3rd, 2016 at 10:30am Emperor Rhombus

Their “big announcement” was a beautiful act of middle-fingery.


Lolz 0
Now There’s a Petition to Stop Kid Rock from Inducting Cheap Trick Into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
February 26th, 2016 at 12:00pm Emperor Rhombus

Finally, a Change.org campaign we can get behind…


Lolz 0
Gentlemen, The Metal Experiment Must Come To An End
February 23rd, 2016 at 4:00pm Emperor Rhombus

I’m afraid Project: Hand of Doom has gotten out of control.


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