MetalSucks

The reader known only as “Derrick” sent us a link to Dying 2 Meet You, a website that offers the “cheap gag gift” of selling customers a meeting with the dead celebrity of their choice (they even only have certain celebrities, so as to better sell the illusion that these are official meetings, I guess). Of course, there’s an entire package devoted to “Metal Legends,” including Chuck Schuldiner, Cliff Burton, and, naturally, Dimebag.

I get that this is a “gag gift” so I’m not too offended by the whole stupid idea – it’s not like you’re actually getting ripped off by, say, being so dumb you think you’re having a star named after a loved one – but taking five bucks and putting it towards a “meeting” with Layne Staley or Bon Scott or Randy Rhodes or whomever strikes me as… well… a complete and utter waste of five bucks. No, it’s not really a lot of money in the scheme of things, but it is money.

So purchasing one of these “gag gifts” is literally like wiping your ass with that Abe Lincoln. Somewhere, there’s a starving homeless person who would kill for a slice of pizza or two, but, no, that money would be better spent on a fake meeting with a dead person.

Swell.

-AR

Like our friend Eyal Levi, I am still amazed that the words “Happy Birthday Dimebag” set off a debate of Ziltoidian proportions. I just don’t see how the impact of Pantera on modern metal is open to discussion; even if you hate them, to say that they weren’t hugely popular and influential even before Dime’s death just strikes me as… wrong. Just wrong.

And, come to think of it, I don’t really understand hating Pantera, either. Even if you think they’re just dumb rednecks. ‘Cause if we’re not gonna listen to the music of every musician we perceive as an idiot anymore, we’re gonna need to throw out, at minimum, 80% of our respective music libraries. And not just the metal shit, either.

Of course, this video probably won’t convince anyone that Pantera were awesome, and will, I imagine, lead to cries of “See they sold out,” “they were just chasing trends,” etc. And even if that’s true, it doesn’t really make Cowboys from Hell or Vulgar Display of Power or whatever your favorite Pantera album is any less awesome. Kinda like Machine Head.

MS Maniac Fabio Sanchez gets a gold star for sending us this video. Thanks dude!

-AR

If you’re famous, one of the biggest problems with being dead is that you lose all control over how your “estate” (read: family that needs money) uses abuses your legacy. Case in point: Kurt Cobain is apparently going to be in Guitar Hero 5.

Now, I’m not one of these people who has a problem with Guitar Hero or rhythm games in general – I find them entertaining, and I’m not an alarmist who thinks they mean kids are gonna stop learning to play real instruments.

But I feel like Cobain is definitely the kind of stick-up-his-ass dude who would have a problem with Guitar Hero. Still, Francis Bean gotta eat Courtney Love gotta shoot up, so there’s Kurt in all his pixelated glory.

I’m shocked that Dimebag hasn’t been included in a rhythm game yet. I’d wager that his estate is working on that right about now.

-AR

He’d of been 43 years old today.

Here he is shredding back when he was my age.

-AR

After the horrific murder of his brother, no one would have faulted Pantera/Damageplan drummer Vinnie Paul for dropping off the face of the Earth. But instead, the man chose to soldier on, starting his own record company, Big Vin Records, and resuming his drumming duties for boozy groove metallers Hellyeah. The former has signed Type O Negative side project Seventh Void and released the successful Dimebag Darrell tribute DVD Dimevision; the latter’s toured the globe in support of their debut album, with plans to record and tour again in the near future. A relentlessly positive guy who sounds a little like the metal version of King of the Hill’s Boomhauer, Vinnie seems content with the past and satisfied with the present (upon hearing that I was conducting the interview from Massachusetts after I shut my tape recorder off, he gave his thoughts on the Boston Bruins’ then-upcoming playoff game with Montreal Canadiens and stated that his dream Superbowl would be between the Cowboys and the Patriots, if it were possible). In his inteview with MetalSucks, he gives his thoughts on the upcoming 20th anniversary of Cowboys from Hell, running a record label, and the future of Hellyeah.

Click to read more…

At long last we’ve chosen a winner for the funny photo caption contest in which we asked you for a funny caption for the photo at right in exchange for a bad-ass Revolver Magazine t-shirt (helluva deal if you ask me). And the winner is:

RobotScythe: “A member of the MetalSucks staff prepares for a meeting.”

Well done, sir. You’re onto us!

This week we’re giving away a Knucklebonz 9-inch desktop statue of Dimebag Darrell thanks to our friends at TonesofDeath.com. Check out a picture of this awesome gift. You know the drill… photo… caption… make us laugh… go!

[Photo thanks: Ryan D.]

Today marks the 4th anniversary of the shooting of Darrell “Dimebag” Abbott. Rather than wax ecstatic about what an awesome dude Dime was, or bore you to tears with a story about where I was when I found out about the death, or rail about how fucked up it is that a musician’s life would end in such a manner or how fucked it is that Dime’s legacy has been raped and pillaged in the name of money by everyone with the means to do so (all these things are true… they’ve just been completely beat to shit in the media)… I’d like to post my favorite Pantera video of all-time (”Cowboys From Hell” live in Moscow, 1990) and invite you all to share your Dime stories — of any kind — with us in the comments.

R.I.P. Dime. The world lost a legend 4 years. Oh, what’s that… John Lennon also died on December 8th? All kidding aside, Dimebag is perhaps our metal generation’s John Lennon.

-VN

Revolver Magazine Editor-in-Chief Tom Beaujour has revealed in an interview with our chums at BITPOM.com that the magazine is planning an all-Pantera special edition issue for December, on the heels of their wildly successful and highly amusing all-Tool issue this past Spring.

If ever there’s another metal band that inspires as fervent a fan-base as Tool I’d think Pantera is certainly that band, and it makes perfect sense for Revolver to release a tribute issue. I’ll especially be looking forward to this one, as there is SO much to explore, especially in the way of new interviews with the remaining living band members — so long as the good folks at Revolver hold off on tacky Dime tributes (this topic has been beaten to death, deader than a dead horse fucking another dead horse in the bunghole) and so long as Rita Haney keeps her obnoxious trap shut. I’m also interested in seeing how much, if any, editorial space the magazine devotes to Pantera’s oft-ignored glam metal years.

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Am I the only one who finds it somewhat fitting and hilarious that Dean Guitars founder Dean Zelinsky has left the company he started in 1976 to launch his own company called DBZ Guitars? I mean, it’s as if he said, “I, too, am disappointed and shocked at the raping and pillaging of Dimebag Darrell’s legacy in the name of selling bucketloads of guitars under the guise of tribute. I’m outta here.” Touche.

-VN

From the “Gee I wish I’d written this” files: Madonna apparently played a snippet of Pantera’s “A New Level” at a recent concert (video above), and some Blabberbrats have their panties in a twist over it. Rob at Metal Injection reports:

“…much like with Fall Out Boy covering Pantera, some Pantera fans are not pleased (or intelligent). Here’s what some loyal Cowboys From Hell are saying over at Blabbermouth:

anybody who thinks this is cool should never ever post a negative post about any of the bands from the 80’s again!the fact that the she is holding a guitar does not make her a rocker and just because it happens to be a pantera riff does not make it a tribute or cool. she belongs in the dance hall of fame not the rock and roll hall. I did not even watch this garbage but more than likely she is lip syching like everything else. the people praising her for this are the same ones who trashed nickelback for making a real dime tribute song and they used his solo on the track.just another pub. stunt by this overrated attention whore.

Actually, the fact that she played the riff does make it a tribute. Thats actually exactly what it was. Why are you commenting on something you didn’t even bother watching? I’ve never trashed Nickelback for making a Dime tribute, I trash them cause they absolutely blow.”

I hate Madonna as much the next guy, but seriously, some of these comments are pretty ridiculous.

Head over to Metal Injection for the rest of their awesome commentary on these events; then weigh in on the righteousness, or lack thereof, of Madonna’s cover below.

-AR

It has to be said: before Dimebag Darrel died, Dean Guitars was nothing. Since their heyday in the early ’80s, the company has been a running joke in the music industry, their most prominent supporter Michael Angelo Batio, himself something of a running joke. Attendees as the annual Winter NAMM show in Anaheim could count on two things from Dean at their booth; hot chicks with enormous silicone breasts, and a live performance from Batio and his double-neck axe, complete with mullet and over-under ridiculousness. The guitars? An afterthought. But all that changed when Dimebag, a Dean supporter himself, died in 2004.

Dimebag is now the company’s poster-child, co-opted by the marketing department for the sake of selling guitars. Their NAMM booth is adorned with posters of him on every surface; a giant video screen showing Dimevision highlights runs on repeat all day long. The Dean official website splash page features Dime waxing about his Dean. Dean has just released the 5,697th version of the Dime Razorback guitar. And guitarists in metal bands the world over are using Dean guitars, thanks to the company hawking Dimebag’s name at every opportunity possible.

This desecration of Dimebag has got to stop. It’s getting ridiculous. Good for Dean Guitars for reviving their image; really, good for them, they make some fine guitars. But drop the Dime worship already. Enough is enough. It’s akin to bands still covering “Walk” and having the crowd chant “Dime-bag! Dime-bag!” at every show just to get everyone riled up. Stop it. You’re killing Dimebag’s legacy. It must end. Now.

-VN

So it’s almost that time of year again… Darrell “Dimebag” Abbott was viciously shot and killed 3 years ago this coming Saturday, on December 8, 2004 (John Lennon shot on the same day 24 years earlier). Get ready for the obligatory Dimebag tributes and press flurries in the coming days (more on that later — this tiring phenomenon deserves its own post). Metal Monthly has already released an interview with Dimebag’s widow Rita Haney, who seems to be getting quite a bit of press herself of late, in which she revealed that Eddie Van Halen donated his original — not a copy — black and yellow custom guitar (featured in the Van Halen II album artwork) to go six feet deep with Dimebag:

Metal Monthly: Many people do not know that Eddie Van Halen buried one of his guitars with Darrell. This is true, right? And like 20 bottles of Crown Royal?

Click to read more…