I just learned that “El Guapo” from The Three Amigos has the same birthday as me, and that he also directed Like Water for Chocolate. My mind is blown.

Also mind-blowing: Cracked‘s revelation that if you play three songs from Tool’s 10,000 Days simultaneously in a certain order, you get a whole new song –

“By themselves, the songs seem completely different: ‘10,000 Days‘ (11:13) is a long prog-rock number, ‘Wings for Marie‘ (6:11) is a quiet song that builds up into a crescendo, and ‘Viginti Tres‘ (5:02) is just a bunch of weird noises. 6:11 plus 5:02 adds up to 11:13 — that’s because you’re supposed to put “Viginti Tres” and “Wings for Marie” together (in that order) and play them at the same time as ’10,000 Days.’”

And once you actually listen to the three tracks this way, it becomes readily apparent that this is no mere coincidence, but, rather, that Tool are pretty much the most brilliant band ever to rock the earth. Check it out:

Cracked even notes that this new song features completely different lyrics from the three tunes from which it is amalgamated. FUCKING AMAZING, right?

This comes from Cracked’s list of “10 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Albums,” by the way. If your brain is still functioning well enough to type, check out the rest of the list here.

-AR

Two readers sent this in. I can’t find the e-mail from the first, and the second did not include his or her name with the message. So, thanks to both of you, whomever you are.

‘Cause earlier this week, Billy Howerdel sent out the below tweet:

Click to read more…

I really love this. But for the record, even though I know Vince is a big Daath fan, too, if you bothered to read any of the bylines on the various articles we’ve been doing about Daath, you’d realize that I’m really the faggot who has been too busy shoving Daath’s dicks into my ears to actually listen to the music. In my defense, I can’t help it, as the Daathers just seem to have the perfect sized cocks for my ear holes, and it tickles so good.

And as a big of a fan as I am of Daath, I don’t think they’re better than Tool. I don’t think the dudes in Daath think they’re better than Tool.

Also, Depeche Mode rules.

As you were.

-AR

Thanks: Aaron N.

I didn’t see The Sorcerer’s Apprentice because I love myself too much, but I did read the script (I guess I should say “script”) before it went into production. I don’t know if it made it into the final film or not, but there was a subplot in which the hero (played in the movie by Jay Baruchel) builds these conductors (“conductors” like machines, not like a dude with a baton) that can basically play music with lightning. They barely explained the science of it in the script, and I kinda assumed it was a bullshit Hollywood thing…

…but I guess I was wrong, ’cause reader Hetal Bhatt sent us the below video of a group called ArcAttack that uses similar conductors to play “Iron Man” with lightning. And they did it on America’s Got Talent, which features Mrs. Iron Man herself, Sharon Osbourne, as a judge. Sure, these dudes dress like idiots and are clearly nerds, but, I mean, come on — they play music with lightning! Of COURSE they’re nerds!!!

Note to Tool: please incorporate lightning music into your next tour. Thanks.

-AR

Banner Designed by Cysquatch

Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

With seemingly every band in the world now less-than-hesitant to replace a departed member, no matter how seemingly important that member was to the band’s success, this week we asked our writers:

IS THERE ANY STILL-ACTIVE METAL BAND THAT COULD NOT AFFORD TO LOSE A SINGLE MEMBER OF ITS LINE-UP?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

Click to read more…

All signs point to “me likey.” Merkaba have their roots in Tulsa, Oklahoma, just like the supremely awesome (and very non-metal) J.J. Cale and Leon Russell. Their lyrics engage Kabbalistic thought and the limits of perception, both non-standard tropes in metal. Their design aesthetic and nomenclature bizarrely combine commie symbols with kabbalistic and occult insignia – rad! Their website provides total transparency through dorky “making of” videos, outspoken diatribes on a variety of social/political/environmental causes, and spiritual manifestos. The four men of Merkaba are nice, smart guys, and they want you to get to know them. They’ve posted their ambitious The People’s EP for free. And why not? Merkaba’s music is their message, and why would you charge for something that you want to disseminate as far as possible?

Click to read more…

Mega dork-out time! Ready for a trip through Tool guitarist Adam Jones’ live guitar rig? Of course you are!

Jones’ rig is actually pretty simple. No computer-controlled switching boards or rackmounts… just old-school pedals hooked up to a couple of different amp configurations (controlled by an A/B switch, I’m guessing, though one isn’t shown). There are also some neat synth doodads he controls for all that spacey in-between shit Tool does. And though Jones certainly isn’t the most technical guitarist around, his tone has always been impeccable; moar isn’t always better.

Visit SMN News for a tour through bassist Justin Chancellor’s rig as well.

-VN

Yesterday A Perfect Circle announced their reunion, and we wondered who, besides Maynard James Keenan and Billy Howerdel, would be in the band; now we have our answer. Drummer Josh Freese, the band’s only constant besides Keenan and Howerdel, and guitarist James Iha, who joined the group for Thirteenth Step, are both returning to the fold, while bassist Matt McJunkins, who must have been teased mercilessly in grade school, will replace Jeordie White, who has since returned to being “Twiggy Ramirez” in Marilyn Manson.

McJunkinthetrunk, pictured above, was practically a shoe-in for the gig, since he’s played with both Keenan and Howerdel before, in Puscifer and Ashes Divide. Other than that, I don’t know squat about the dude. His Facebook page would suggest that he sometimes refers to himself as “Junk,” which somehow makes him a-okay in my book.

And that settles that. Matt McJunkins is now the Dave Kushner of A Perfect Circle.

-AR

Listen, I don’t think this is gonna come as a galloping shock to anyone given all the talk there’s already been about A Perfect Circle returning from their hiatus/break-up/whatever, but we just got a press release making it official. The band is apparently gonna get this party started with a five-city tour in the fall:

Shows in Phoenix (Marquee Theatre), Los Angeles (Avalon), Seattle (Showbox at The Market) and San Francisco (The Fillmore) will be three-night stops with each night featuring one of A Perfect Circle’s three albums in its entirety (Mer de Noms, Thirteenth Step and eMOTIVe).  Las Vegas (The Pearl) will be a two-night outing (Mer de Noms and Thirteenth Step).

The band will also play Jimmy Kimmel on October 27.

Two quick and random thoughts:

Click to read more…

Like Porcupine Tree’s clip for “Bonnie the Cat,” Serj Tankian’s new video, for the song “Left of Center,” is clearly inspired by Tool’s classic “Sober” video, and as was the case with said Porcupine Tree clip, I’m totally fine with that. ‘Cause the director (I’m not sure who that is, unfortunately) has put enough of his own spin on it for the video not to seem like a total rip-off, and ’cause, as regular readers know, I’m all for awesome animation in music videos.

Of course, this is Serj Tankian, so there’s a lot of not-at-all-thinly-veiled political imagery in the clip (e.g., an eyeball made from jewels, an over-stimulated, texting teenage gamer being swallowed whole by a snake made from the very technology he utilizes, etc.). But at least I can tell what the hell Serj is getting at, which is more than I can say for the lyrics to some System of a Down songs (What the fuck does leaving my keys on the table have to do with anything again?).

“Left of Center” comes off of Tankian’s latest solo offering, Imperfect Harmonies, which comes out September 21 on Serjical Strike/Reprise. If you haven’t already done so, you should check out Vince’s excellent interview with Serj here.

-AR

Banner Designed by Cysquatch

Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

There weren’t any real hot button topics this week, so we decided to just play a fun game that used to keep Vince and Axl occupied for many a lunch period when they were kids:

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

Click to read more…

This is one of those rare cases in this day and age where I would say proponents of expensive music videos are correct: this cool video did get me to pay attention to a new band.

Widow Sunday‘s video for “Strings of Clarity” owes a huuuuuge debt to Fred Stuhr, the mastermind behind the animation in Tool’s early music videos. The characters are similar, they move in the same manner, the textures and lighting are the same, they use the same dark fades between cuts… so similar to the Tool videos. But still, credit where it’s due, and animator Ossian has done a fine job here. The video got me to pay attention to (and subsequently write about) a band I otherwise wouldn’t have. And this video wasn’t necessarily expensive to make if he/she owned certain equipment – so there!

-VN

Thanks: Timothy Scott

Whenever I see a stop-motion animation video which tells the story of some weird little dude doing bizarre and semi-surrealistic things, my mind immediately goes to Tool. Of course, Tool didn’t invent creepy stop-motion animation, but they certainly popularized its use in music videos. (And by “popularized,” I mean, “Are responsible for the one, maybe two videos a year that do this.”) And it’s hard for me to imagine that anyone would watch Porcupine Tree’s new video, for “Bonnie the Cat,” without thinking of “Sober” — even if the color scheme and overall tone is very different.

The video’s not currently embeddable, but you can check it out here. It’s pretty cool and — bonus! — has a robot going down on another robot. So hopefully that’ll be enough to restore your faith in music videos.

The song comes off of Porcupine Tree’s latest, The Incident, which is out now on Roadrunner.

-AR

Why is it that drummers have a habit of wearing basketball jerseys on stage? Tool’s Daney Carey constantly rocks his Lakers jersey (though dude, whatup with the t-shirt underneath? that’s like wearing socks with sandals.), and Dream Theater’s Mike Portnoy is rarely seen on stage without a jersey of some kind (though to be fair, he also sports baseball and hockey jerseys). But it was actually this video of Vince Neil’s solo band drummer Zoltan Chaney doing his usual crazy routine that got me thinking.

Click to read more…

So Maynard James Keenan has said that Tool are working on their next album, and that “If it comes together” they may even play some new shit live this summer. I’m always totally down for some new Tool, so I won’t even say what we’re all thinking, which is “It might be nice to a get a new Tool album in under five years for a change.” I mean, we’d heard that Tool were in writing mode back in 2008, but whatever. It’s Tool. If they need that time to make the best possible record that they can, I’ll go along with it.

But a new Tool album was always a foregone conclusion; the band may very well break our hearts and throw in the towel one day, but we are (very luckily) not there yet.

So more interesting, in a way, is the news that writing has begun on a new album for A Perfect Circle. Not “more interesting” in a APC > Tool way, ’cause, come ON, that would just be a ridiculous argument to try and make. Interesting in the “Oh, cool, A Perfect Circle really aren’t done” kinda way.

Click to read more…

Welcome to a new feature here at MetalSucks, “Question of the Week.” Each week (duh) we’ll ask our staff a question (double duh) based around a recent hot button issue.

Unfortunately, this week there really were no hot button issues, so inspired by the Ozzfest “Unholy Matrimony” VIP package, we decided to ask our writers a silly question instead:

If you were going to be married at a metal concert, which show would it be and why?

Their answers after the jump.

Click to read more…

In the last few years, something seemed to happen and I barely noticed. Suddenly, I’m no longer the young kid at the show. I’m one of the guys hiding out by the bar. I’m not crowd surfing, not covered in sweat with my shirt off, and I’m certainly not moshing. I’m also not randomly yelling “Slayer!”, but that seems to span all demographics. I became… (gulp)… an adult. I don’t know what the range is in the ages of the followers of MetalSucks, but I’ll assume that it’s a mix of younger and older metal fans. I am 29 years old, but I still feel relatively young and energetic considering my opening salvo. I’m the youngest member of my band, and younger than a good majority of my friends in bands and the industry.

With that said, I think there comes a time for all metal heads, and probably all adults for that matter, when you look at what is popular amongst the true youth culture (16-24), and you feel as if not only do you not relate to it, but it feels alien, as if it’s creation was not meant for your consumption (which it wasn’t) – and it also seems inferior to music that you grew up with. I’m only 29, and I’m already having “back in my day” moments. It kind of scared me, and I began to wonder if I was being obtuse and a little too set in my ways, or if my analysis was accurate.

Click to read more…

If the rumor that he didn’t wanna tour anymore is true, then perhaps John Bush has the right idea.

Our pal Allyson Crawford from Bring Back Glam recently conducted an interview with Twisted Sister guitarist Jay Jay French for Noisecreep. (Got all that?) And the big scoop of the interview is that while Twisted Sister will probably continue to play live in some capacity, they won’t be doing anymore full tours. Why? Mr. French explains:

“I know what these [other legacy] bands make, I know their lifestyle, I know what they do,” continues French. “I can’t function that way. I don’t believe it’s viable for them. I believe they [tour] because they really have no other options on this planet. And by going out on the road constantly, they devalue themselves because they’re out there all the time. We work in a completely separate business model. If I don’t play, guess what? My value increases, doesn’t it? So the less I play, the more valuable I become. So I work completely opposite. I’ll bet you I make more money playing 12 shows than most [other] bands make playing 50 shows.”

Click to read more…

If you haven’t read Part One of my interview with Melvins frontman Buzz Osborne, you might want to check it out before you go any further. In this second and final installment of that conversation, King Buzzo pulls no punches. See below to learn his thoughts on grunge, crabcore, and why he’d rather open for Madonna than ever play Ozzfest again.

Click to read more…

The past, present and future best band on the planet are currently working on a new album, according to the March Newsletter post on their official website. As with any post on Tool’s hilariously out-of-date website there’s a ton of abstract writing that has little to do with anything, but there are a couple of tid-bits you oughtta know:

• The three instrumental members of Tool are currently working on writing new material while Maynard finishes up touring with Puscifer.
• There is the possibility that the band will do two mini-tours this Summer, one each of the West and East coasts.

Tool’s last album, 10,000 Days, came out almost exactly 4 years ago. Lateralus before it came out in 2001, a 5-year gap. Tool are notoriously slow writers and recorders, but if all goes well we could have a new Tool album around this time next year. Let’s hope!

-VN

Thanks: L Regli